Define Success

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Aries8
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   Posted 4/7/2009 11:45 AM (GMT -7)   
I need to hear how all of you define success. I define it differently for friends and family than I do for myself. I am much harder on myself. I can't let it go but I'm really trying to do so.
 
I define success for myself as any time I'm bringing in money. Large amounts of money. So, I haven't been successful yet. smhair
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Raniah
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   Posted 4/7/2009 12:31 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Aries,

That's a good question! I think I probably define it a little differently on each day, depending on what is going on and what I need to accomplish (I am trying very hard these days to take one day at a time!). Overall, I think success means being able to appreciate the good things in my life, to find gratitude for all that is positive, like supportive friends, having a job, being able to move forward with my hopes and dreams, and having the opportunity to spend time outdoors/in nature.....things like that.

Nanners
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   Posted 4/7/2009 2:12 PM (GMT -7)   
I think the way Raniah described it is the same for me. Money isn't the end all to be all for me. My happiness with my husband is so much more important to me than anything. I could live in a cardboard box with him and still be happy, as long as I have him in my life I can do anything. JMHO
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Been living with Crohn's Disease for 33 years. Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, and Calcium and Xanax as needed. Resections in 2002 and 2005. Also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis and Anxiety. Currently my Crohns is in remission.
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ocean1
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   Posted 4/7/2009 2:27 PM (GMT -7)   
Success to me if I know in my heart that I have done my job to the best of my ability, taken care of my responsibilities at home and work and given my "all" to my family.  Success for me isn't measured in money or things, it is inside and how I feel about myself each day.

Diane
LET US BE GRATEFUL TO PEOPLE WHO MAKE US HAPPY. 
THEY ARE THE CHARMING GARDENERS WHO MAKE OUR SOULS BLOSSOM.

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Aries8
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   Posted 4/8/2009 11:45 AM (GMT -7)   
You guys define success much differently than I do. I'm going to write down in my journal some of the answers you guys gave me. I think my definition of success comes from my childhood and my mom's expectations. Raniah mentioned measuring success kind of on a daily basis. That's interesting! I know I'm hard on myself and I may never be sucessful monetarily. If that's the case, I'll never see myself as a success and therefore my life will have been for nothing. So, I need to change my definition of success.

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Celey
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   Posted 4/8/2009 11:50 AM (GMT -7)   
Success for me is living a comfortable life...
I think I am being picked on by life, sometimes. But's that okay. Life and I are good buddies... I know life doesn't mean no harm. It just is the way it is. I can accept that.


paniccu
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   Posted 4/8/2009 12:22 PM (GMT -7)   
I define success as being happy and self supportive.

percycat
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Date Joined Jul 2005
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   Posted 4/8/2009 3:33 PM (GMT -7)   
Success for me is getting a task done that was hard or time-consuming or that I wasn't sure I could even handle.

Thanks for starting this thread, Aries. It's nice to see everyone else's definitions and think about them too. I'm not so good about the gratitude or appreciating one day at a time, but those sound really nice, and I'd like to be more aware of those things.

percycat

Percy/Percycat

Co-Moderator, Anxiety and Panic Forum

 

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stkitt
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   Posted 4/9/2009 4:28 PM (GMT -7)   

Aries8 my friend,

I had the successful career and I made the big bucks as they say but in my private life I was not happy as I always had the anxiety riding right below the surface. In the end the big job sunk me. I was not able to make it to my goal of when I was going to retire but had to take early retirement as the job ate me alive.

Now days, success to me means being able to feel good about myself, to get up each day and on some days I go to my job as a substitute school nurse and I am glad to have a job where I am not the boss..............I like not having to be tied down to trying to be the best and at the top. I have accepted that I took myself and the position way to serious however I was always the one to get the job done so more works was heaped on until I could not bear the weight.

I have accepted who I am now, at this moment in time.........that is my success story.  I am a good and caring person.........I am a success.

Love

Kitt



 

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subdued
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   Posted 4/13/2009 11:10 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm not really sure what success is. I have very high expectations for myself. I feel like a failure when I make a mistake. But I shouldn't. We are all human. We all make mistakes.

So perhaps success is doing the things we want to do and living the life we want to live. But then, I'm not successful using this definition either, because I haven't done all the things I want to do due to a lack of money. I also don't have the life I want to live due to a lack of money.

Yet I don't feel money is the same as success. Some people are born rich. Are they successful? Only if they do something worthwhile and don't waste their life away, which isn't so difficult since they have money to do something worthwhile.

So I guess it is easier to be successful if one is born with money. Is this fair? No, but it could be why we often equate success with money.
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dixibella
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Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 161
   Posted 4/14/2009 8:47 AM (GMT -7)   
My husband and I discuss this every now and then, he is more of the mindset that money and things are what define success. I'm not so much of the mind that more money = success (I know plenty of people with money who are miserable and unhappy with their lives) but for me success is getting through the day with a positive outlook. Like you, I feel that I fail at this constantly, but I try to step back and remind myself of the good things and not so much on the negative, someday maybe I'll be an optimist. But for now I just try to accept myself for who I am and not let any one thing define me.

Aries8
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Date Joined Dec 2008
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   Posted 4/15/2009 11:43 AM (GMT -7)   

More interesting definitions of success! I can walk away with a little bit of information from each of you and perhaps use it to come up with a more healthy definition of success.

John, it's interesting that you don't take into account other's expectations. I wish I could be like that! rolleyes

Kitt, I'm glad you finally found "success". It must be a very calm feeling.

I see all of you as a success. I've read and learned a lot about all of you on this forum. When a person can give of himself/herself, they are truly a success.


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Green Grove
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Date Joined Oct 2008
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   Posted 4/16/2009 6:30 PM (GMT -7)   
This is a great one my friend :)

I define success by doing the best I can at all times and feeling great by those decisions. It continuously makes me strive to be a better person. Money and superficial things like that are secondary in the whole scheme of things, and it is sad that anyone would use such a limited way to define themselves. But that is the world we live in and things will get better, especially with people like all of us. I feel justified in saying this by reading everyone's comments to this question. . . Great to have so many intelligent friends supporting me when I need it. Thank you.

Your Bro Sam :)
Anxiety-Panic Forum Co-Moderator


alwayslove
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Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 87
   Posted 4/18/2009 9:07 PM (GMT -7)   
I think success is being able to handle what life throws at you.
if you can be happy then you are successful, happiness is more important than anything to me.
sometimes that mountain you've been climbing is just a grain of sand
<3 <3 <3
when you feel like you're done, and the darkness has won, babe you're not lost ...when you're worlds crashing down and you cannot bare the cross, baby you're not lost.


stkitt
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Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 4/19/2009 7:01 AM (GMT -7)   

This is a great thread, I do hope more members jump on board.  Just jot down how you feel.  The more input the better!

Thanks, Aries...............great topic.

Kitt


 

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Aries8
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Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 1015
   Posted 4/19/2009 11:26 PM (GMT -7)   
These answers have been helpful to me. I need to think more about how I define success. And why should the definition be different for myself than what I think it is for family and friends? People are always harder on themselves. I wonder why that is?
Anxiety Disorder/Mitral Valve Prolapse
 
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Nanners
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Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 4/20/2009 8:03 AM (GMT -7)   
You know Aries I wanted to add another point to my previous post. When I said money are the least of my worries I mean that! I have enough to take care of my needs. The reason I really feel this way is because I work for a Wall Street firm and work with stock brokers. I work for some very self centered people that are sooooo different than me. I love my job, but I am saddened by so many of my coworkers need for money. Its actually very unattractive to me. All their fancy cars, clothes etc. and I can tell you that some of these people might have money, but really are miserable people in the outside world. Yet I have some very close friends there who feel much the same as me, and of course they are the ones in the same position at work as me. I can tell you those of with less, seem to be the happiest ones.

Having the love of a good man trumps anything money could ever by for me. I have a home that is comforting and loving and I can't wait to get home to that everyday. Why? Because everything that is good for me is here. And of course thats my husband. Unconditional love is success to me.

Hugs to you,
Gail *Nanners*
Gail*Nanners* Co-Moderator for Anxiety/Panic Forum
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 33 years. Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, and Calcium and Xanax as needed. Resections in 2002 and 2005. Also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis and Anxiety. Currently my Crohns is in remission.
*Every tomorrow has two handles.  We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith"*

Aries8
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 1015
   Posted 4/20/2009 9:54 AM (GMT -7)   
Nanners, what a nice post! You really do sound happy and content. Not too many people find those two things in their lifetimes.

When I got my real estate license at the end of 2005, I wanted to sell enough homes to contribute to the bills and maybe go on an annual vacation. I never wanted or expected to be another Donald Trump. I think growing up I got the impression from my mother that money is very important. Don't get me wrong, we all need a certain amount of money. But I learned for me to be successful it would mean a high salary position somewhere.

When I think back, my mother never said this to me outright. It's an impression I got somehow and somehow I've got to change my thinking. Or perhaps, not worry about impressing my mother and just satisfy myself.

Thank you for a wonderful post, Nanners!
Anxiety Disorder/Mitral Valve Prolapse
 
50 mg. Lopressor, 60 mg. Prozac, Ativan as needed.

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