what should be realistic expectations for situational anxiety?

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Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 335
   Posted 4/9/2009 8:08 PM (GMT -6)   
I know I'm trivializing the holocaust by comparing my situation to that, but my anxiety has been escalating for two years to the point that I am never relaxed in my own home. I need to leave this neighborhood because of police calls to near neighbors for drugs and abuse, loud base from radios, kids not respecting my property, trash in yards, etc.
I've had a broken heart, lost loved ones in the past, but never had constant anxiety and my house was always my refuge. Now it's my hell.
I've always been firm, but nice getting kids to stop their activities on my property, but have had damage to my property anyway.
I live alone in a duplex I own because I don't need the rent, but feel vulnerable as a retired female living alone.
My building has been on the market, but not sold so have pulled it. My new place is on hold, because they can't get the bank to release money for the loan to build the cooperative.
This used to be a nice neighborhood.
This is a lot of info to ask the simple question--Am I really supposed to not let this bother me and find peace somehow?
I know if there was someone here to talk to and share in the responsibility of all this, and a male here to scare off kids I wouldn't be as fearful. Even if this were still a good neighborhood, I do not like living alone.
When I compare myself to people who are in bad relationships, very ill, out of work, etc etc, I feel very guilty feeling this way.
I do try to live in the moment, but there are few moments that are peaceful so that I can concentrate on what I'm doing.
It's supposed to be true that things don't upset us, we LET them upset us. Can't seem to live by that.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40386
   Posted 4/10/2009 12:02 AM (GMT -6)   

This would be such a frustrating situation. Did the police do anything about the damage that the kids did? You should be able to feel safe in your own home. Do you do any meditation? That could help calm your mind so that you can feel at peace. It grounds us. That is what I do when in stressful situations.

I feel that it is normal for you to feel anxious in this situation. And don't take it llightly. Anxiety can be very hard to cope with. Try to think good thoughts. Try not to anticipate these kids causing the problems. Just call the police when you need to. Take it as it comes if you can.

Try some deep breathing and try to relax. Be aware of your surroundings. Try not to worry until you have to.

Best wishes for a good night and a wonderful day.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 4/10/2009 9:08 AM (GMT -6)   

Dear Korissa,

Guilt is a wasted emotion so please do not feel guilty about your anxiety.  I think perhaps you have GAD disorder and not just a situational disorder as 2 years is a long time for it to be situational anxiety. 

In the end it is all anxiety no matter what we call it.  I think Karen gave you some good advice, take big breaths and remember that you can control your anxiety.  Practice all you have learned about taking control and kick the "stinkin thinkin" thoughts to the curb.

I carry pepper spray as I too am concerned about safety and I worked for so long on the PM shirt and would sometimes come out of work at 1:00 AM in the morning and walk a fair distance to my car that I would always feel better with the pepper spray in my hand.  Also contnue to be aware of your surroundings always.  It is best to be alert and know what is within your vision and you will do well.  I have given this same talk to my adult daughter and to my granddaughters.

We are here for you so please know we care.

Gentle Hugs



Kitt, Co-Moderator:
Co-Moderator Depression

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Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 335
   Posted 4/10/2009 10:22 PM (GMT -6)   
I've attempted 3 times to thank you for your support Kitt and Karen (that was easy) but, I kept erasing and starting over because what I'd write after that each time was just so trite no matter how I worded it--I realized I was still obsessing. It just negated what I experienced this evening.

I went to a most beautiful Tenebrae service tonight and it's put things in perspective for me! I feel very at peace and so appreciative of His love.

Your presence here is also an answer to prayer.

Thank you!

Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 335
   Posted 4/10/2009 10:25 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm not sure why beautiful came through underlined. I didin't do it in fact I wouldn't know how to do it. But it is appropriate! lol!

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 4/11/2009 10:47 AM (GMT -6)   
Korissa we have some advertising links with certain words we use that will pop up. Hence the underlining, nothing you did:) I am glad the service brought you some comfort.

I live in a relatively safe neighborhood, but do have a neighbor who thinks we all like to listen to his loud music. Luckily he works early hours much like myself so it doesn't last late into the night. But still the loud music drives me nuts. And we have a neighbor whose kid must be part of 4-H or something because they have a baby lamb that bleets all the time and it will make you nuts:) So I feel some of your pain.

Gail *Nanners*
Gail*Nanners* Co-Moderator for Anxiety/Panic Forum
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 33 years. Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, and Calcium and Xanax as needed. Resections in 2002 and 2005. Also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis and Anxiety. Currently my Crohns is in remission.
*Every tomorrow has two handles.  We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith"*
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