Hello, SJB, and welcome! You've come to the right place for support, and to get comforting advice from others who've been through the same thing.
The important thing is that you are feeling at the end of your rope, and I think Raniah's advice is very good-- that if you just can't cope or keep having these really dark thoughts, a crisis hotline or hospital will be able to help you fastest and best.
The combination of anxiety and depression is really miserable. You worry and agonize, and that brings you down, makes you feel worthless, lethargic, and yet makes you worry more because you know you don't want to be like that.
Do you take any medications for either of those things, or are you able to see a counselor? Many of us on here have had some success from one or both of those helps. I know my depression would not have gotten under control without medication, and for my anxiety, counseling works for better for me.
I hope you'll check out our resources and see if any sound useful to you. You can ask questions or just get a electronic hug and "I understand how you're feeling" from all of our great members.
Do hang in there, and keep posting so that we can get to know you better. Remember, you are not alone here.
PS - I had to edit your post and Raniah's reply just a tad, according to one of our forum rules, but no worries about
Co-Moderator, Anxiety and Panic Forum
DX: Anxiety, Depression, LPR (acid reflux)
Meds: Paxil, Nexium, Zantac