Constant thoughts of dying

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Candlegirl
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 32
   Posted 4/14/2009 4:55 PM (GMT -7)   
 This week has been stressful for me..My husband is gone for two weeks and it is a busy, busy week with the kiddos. I have been having these thoughts that come on sporadically through the day that I am just going to drop dead..Like right then and there. I don't feel panicked or stressed when it happens but I get this rush in my right upper chest and then the thoughts begin..I have been using MoodGym and having been doing really well up until my hubby left...
 Does anyone else have these thoughts that they are just going to drop dead and that they are constant? I have been really trying to work on this without meds but these feelings are really starting to get to me.

AMK77
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 678
   Posted 4/14/2009 5:52 PM (GMT -7)   
When my husband is out of town I get panic attacks thinking that I will pass out and hit my head or just drop dead and no one will be there to take care of my 2 little ones. Last time my husband was out of town I had my MIL come and stay. Do you have anyone that can come and stay with you?
31 yr old female currently breastfeeding (weaning so I can start 6mp)
Mild Pancolitis
I've had UC since 2000 but was in remission for most of those 8 years med free
Cannot tolerate mesalamine - starting 6mp soon


Candlegirl
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 32
   Posted 4/14/2009 5:59 PM (GMT -7)   
 I don't have anyone to stay with me as we are military and far from home. These thoughts were there leading up to him leaving and I just wish they would stop. I will be just going about my business and whammo I think I am going to drop dead right now. Scares the heck out of me and then I get this rush in my chest. I have had a full cardiac workup and know this is just a symptom of anxiety. I am debating seeing my doctor tomorrow as I am really concerned about the frequency of these thoughts.

dixibella
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 161
   Posted 4/14/2009 6:03 PM (GMT -7)   
Yup, all the time. I am terrified to be alone for any length of time because I convince myself that I'm going to pass out and hit my head or have a heart attack or stroke and no one is going to "find me" until its too late. I try to rationalize that these things are unlikely to happen and that if they do, well its out of my control, but somehow my tricky anxiety convinces me that I still have to worry about it. My husband is pretty unhelpful in relating his anxiety he experienced years ago by saying "If I go, well so what?" which of course just doesn't do a thing for me but make me start thinking about dying again. Helpful. I know he means well but definitely is counterproductive. I don't have any advice but you are not alone! If you come up with something let me know! I do try to keep myself busy to stop thinking about it, and if I'm into something deeply I tend to let it go to the backburner but its not really a great coping mechanism.

Candlegirl
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 32
   Posted 4/14/2009 6:20 PM (GMT -7)   
 Thank you for responding. I know it is just the anxiety because I spend time cleaning up the house while having these episodes, just in case! If it were really something I really would not be worrying about unfinished laundry, right?  It is absolutely ridiculous! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Mizzbeeutiful
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 96
   Posted 4/14/2009 6:55 PM (GMT -7)   
I have those thoughts all the time, I find myself thinking like that about my son also, thats the only thing that I'm still dealing with as far as my anxiety, when those thoughts come I quickly switch to something that gave me joy in the past or imagine something great that I want for my future, I think if you practice that whenever the thoughts come to mind, then it will suddenly become a habit for you to automatically stop those crazy thoughts. I also keep my ipod close, music is so soothing to me!

Raniah
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Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 4/14/2009 8:36 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Candlegirl,

I'm sorry you're having this....and you're not alone in your anxiety or your thoughts, as you can already see. I hope you will go to see your doc, as you said you might, because you deserve as much support right now as is possible. Keep posting here, and know that we're all here for you.

P.S. I like MizzB's suggestions about switching to positive thoughts about joy in the past or happy plans for the future....and also about listening to soothing music. I do the same, and I find it helpful.

percycat
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 1952
   Posted 4/14/2009 8:47 PM (GMT -7)   
Just a quick "me too." My health anxiety is over-the-top right now about stopping breathing and dying on the spot. Very troubled, sad, and scared,

percycat

Percy/Percycat

Co-Moderator, Anxiety and Panic Forum

 

DX: Anxiety, Depression, LPR (acid reflux)

Meds: Paxil, Nexium, Zantac


Skysmommy
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 168
   Posted 4/15/2009 12:11 AM (GMT -7)   
I know how ya'll feel im scared of going to and of growing old and who's going to take care of my children when im gone. my hubby don't care im trying to hold my family together im planing a famiy trip next month im hoping that it will bring my hubby and I back together again if not ....Im worried for my kids its going to hurt them bad when he's gone. my being scared of death came on from my dear brother's passing him and I was ia carbonmonoixside poisoning when he was 15 and I was 17 he passed nov.19th, 2007 he was 28 and 3 months when he went I have been scared since that day that im going to be next that the cm is coming back to get me...sorry im crying and rambling I should come back later

shell
major depression,GAD,A&P,hypothyroidism-synthroid 125mg,med free from effexor and feeling a little better


Allestaria
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 341
   Posted 4/15/2009 3:20 AM (GMT -7)   
I fight with my head about this all the time. The best thing I can do is find something to keep me busy. Normally turn on the radio (Loud) sing like crazy and clean house, craft, make candles. Do something that takes a lot of thinking and consecration. I deal with this from 5:25am till 4:45pm when hubby gets home from work. As I'm home alone for that amount of time.

I try to catch these thoughts as soon as they start. If I don't I'm worked up all day.

I hope you can work out your own little "trick" to nip it as soon as it starts or help ease the day.

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 4/15/2009 6:15 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Candlegirl,
 
I am so sorry you are having these thoughts.  I have on occasion had that fear when I go to bed at night that I may not wake up............which has spooked me for a bit but then I remember that there is nothing I can do to control when I die so I say my night prayers and go to sleep.  I guess I just rationalize the thought and put it into the box of other thoughts that I cannot control.
 
When fear overcomes our lives and prevents us from functioning that is the time to consult with a counselor. If you continue to have this fear , please do look at seeing a counselor. 
 
You have my support and keep on talking to us as it always helps to have someone to listen to our fears.
 
Gentle Hugs
Kitt
 

Kitt, Co-Moderator:
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Candlegirl
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 32
   Posted 4/15/2009 10:29 AM (GMT -7)   

 I think me just getting the thought out and talking about it has made it less "real" in my head. Today has been very good with no thoughts like that at all..It is crazy how just one thought can send me into a spiral of thinking about it all day.

 I am so glad I found a "home" here to be safe and talk about things without any fear=) Thanks to all responded. It means alot to me that you are so reassuring and that I am not alone=)


Aries8
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 1015
   Posted 4/15/2009 10:53 AM (GMT -7)   
Candlegirl, let the thoughts come and don't fight them. Tell yourself they are normal thoughts and they are just that, "thoughts". I never had those type of thoughts until recently. I keep thinking I'm going to die soon. That I won't live to grow older. But I can't worry about it. My worry will not change the outcome.

If you take medication, you may want to find out if the med can cause strange thoughts. If you're not in therapy, I would get into it. I am not a doctor, but I would say everything you are experiencing is due to stress and anxiety. Relax and try to enjoy each day. Every day we wake up is a gift and remember we're here if you need us.
Anxiety Disorder/Mitral Valve Prolapse
 
40 mg Prozac, Toprol 75 mg and occasionally Ativan


percycat
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 1952
   Posted 4/15/2009 11:21 AM (GMT -7)   
Shell,

I'm sorry for your brother's death and all the fear that has left for you. Have you considered counseling for your grief? Even though it may have happened "long ago," there's no time limit on grief and its aftereffects.

Candlegirl,

I'm glad you had a good day today. I really liked something that Allestaria said: the word "consecration." Focussing on each act as something that has meaning and is a gift to our lives or the lives or those around us really sounds nice, and somehow takes the uncertainty and fear away a little bit for me.

percycat

Percy/Percycat

Co-Moderator, Anxiety and Panic Forum

 

DX: Anxiety, Depression, LPR (acid reflux)

Meds: Paxil, Nexium, Zantac

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