Post Edited (Emz84) : 4/21/2009 2:55:24 AM (GMT-6)
Post Edited (stkitt) : 4/20/2009 7:48:53 AM (GMT-6)
I am not judging you, but I do feel you are very young and that time will teach you that living your dreams is wonderful until fate steps in and changes your life. It is not the way others judge you or through any fault of your own but your dreams can turn to dust in a New York minute and that is the one thing I do not believe you have learned yet. I was like you when I was young, I had tons of great dreams about my "happy stress free life".
You posted "because what u are suppose to be doing is living ur dreams with the lifestyle u want"
I was happy and carefree and living my dream and loving it until the police officer and a priest showed up at my door to tell me my son was killed in a car accident. I was living my dream until my hubby was dx with a life long disease and had to have 3 major surgeries, he has Crohn's Disease. He was 29 and we had 4 children. I was a stay at home Mom but due to circumstances I had to find work. I found my love in nursing and went to school, got my degree, raised my 4 children and made sure my hubby always had someone to be there for him.....................my dream was my family and whatever I have to do to keep them safe and happy, to be with them and laugh and play with them and now with their children I do the same. Just having my grandchildren over is happiness for me. I cannot give them a ton of material things but they do not need "things", they need my undivided attention when they are with me. It is not a perfect dream but it is realistic for me.
It would have been wonderful to been able to kick back and work a little here and there and not worry about the bills, or college tuition etc but in the real world you get what you work for. Again no one is judging you.
So I will leave you with your own words, "ppl shouldnt be judged at all but looked at as an individual person" Everyone has that right, you, me and every single person that has responded to you.
I wish you peace and happiness,
Post Edited (stkitt) : 4/20/2009 6:11:02 PM (GMT-6)
If its support and encouragement and advice you want, then you will get it here, but you are hostile in your posts and that makes people wary of posting replies.
All the best-
Post Edited (Mazfire) : 4/20/2009 5:56:55 PM (GMT-6)
I live in a county where 62% of the population is on some kind of govenment assistance. My husband works between 60-70 hours a week. Because I have two medical conditions that prevent me from working a 'traditional' job, I sell on e-bay to help out. We do not have health insurance because we lost it when we moved from VA to NY and we can't afford it in this state. Cheapest...$1150 a month for minimal coverage. Yet on our last tax bill, we were taxed $1200 to support Medicaid, WIC and the food stamp program. We would be much better off going on Welfare. BTW, we are in our early 60's and have lost half our retirement. So, please forgive me if I have very little sympathy for those who use the system by choice and not by need. Raising children is difficult ...I raised three with two dibilitaing diseases, plus severe anxiety and panic disorder. I could have gone on SSI when I was 24 but I didn't.
Being a 'free spirit' is fine, as long as you don't do it at the expense of others. I wish I had had just one day in my life to be a 'free spirit'.
Have you considered working from home? in a part time capacity? just a thought. please dont accuse me of judging you again, im not. im simply offering advice.
I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586
All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.
The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life? Has your life brought joy to others?
Make sure your suffering has meaning…
To those who wonder why I'm not on welfare...
I got married when I was twenty and immediately got pregnant for twins. My husband was in school and had just taken a new job and we didn't have insurance. I went on Medicaid. However...it took six years but we paid every dime of it back.
My husband is a college professor and I am a writer. I have had four books published. Don't think this is a money maker. After the agent, distributors, publisher and book stores get a cut I only make pennies on each book. My husband taught on the Military Bases when we lived in VA, and we had benefits. But when my mom was dying of cancer, we moved back to NY to take care of her and now he teaches on-line for our soldiers in Iraq, Afghanistan and other war zones. There are no benefits included in his contracts. We are scraping by, because if the student load drops due to some horrific attack, he has no classes.
I completely understand why people that suffer from severe anxiety find it difficult to work. In many ways I am fortunate to have found some things I can do at home and still help out financially. I also suffer from fibromyalgia and Meniere's disease(a disorder where the ear fills with fluid and I can spend days spinning, throwing up and falling down).
We don't qualify for any kind of assistance. We own a home and a car. Plus a small retirement fund. We struggle...but that's okay.
I don't want to depend on the government to take care of us anyway. Too many people go on welfare thinking it is a stepping stone to something more promising in the future only to find out that they are better off staying on it. And, of course, they are. So it becomes a lifestyle that passes on from generation to generation. Most people have no intention of this happening, but it does because by the time they are ready to hit the job market, they find they can't live on minimum wage..pay for day care...taxes...have no benefits...
True2Myself...that's all I am saying. I am so happy you are thinking of doing something creative and pray that you find something that makes you a strong, independent woman. Your son is lucky to have a mom that loves him so much...just don't get caught in the 'trap'. Work hard on your passions and when the time comes, you may surprise yourself and not only have a job, but have one that you love.
IMHO and as a moderator of A & P I feel this discussion is no longer productive as the original post has been deleted by the member that started this thread.
My apologies to Emz84 for not being able to meet your expectations but I do know the members that responded are good people and they truly had your best interest and that of your child in mind when they responded to your original post.
The title of your post appeared to indicate that you were looking for ideas on how to prevent the courts and others from judging you. " everyones judging me, what should i do!"
I wish you peace and happiness and please know that we were only trying to help you, not to make you angry.
If you have any personal comments my email is open so please do feel free to email me.