Feeling stupid

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Allestaria
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 341
   Posted 4/24/2009 1:53 PM (GMT -7)   
Well, I have a sick kitten. Something is wrong with her and we just can't figure it out. So hubby decided it was time to take her to the vet. (that is where she is at now).
I decided to go since hubby doesn't handle these things very well. A lot better then me but I know he needed the support. He is the cat lover in the family.
Well they did a few things. Checked temp, and squeezed her all over. She threw up lke 4 times in the process. (the reason we took her). Anyway they mentioned needed blood work, possible surgery and other things.

BAMB, I instantly need to run. I was fine through the other few things. As soon as they mentioned surgery and blood work. I was finished. Felt faint, out of control. And just total freaking out.
Hubby had to bring me home. He is headed back to the vet to stay with her while they finish some of the testing. I feel so bad not being there with her. She is so attached to me. And yet I can't handle my thoughts/anxiety enough to stay.

Its soo stupid. I should be able to handle this stuff. But there is just no way I can. I haven't been able to in many many years. Can't take my kids for shots, or my pets to the vet. Someone has to do it for me.

Now I'm dealing with a numb feeling in my right arm. I'm used to the left side acting up. But now its switching to the right side which means new symptoms I have to work through. sad Along with head tingling sentsations. Like someone is running there hands gently through your hair and it gives you the shivers. Started last night.
Can I just lose control and get it over with?!! Sometimes I would so love to not fight it.

Off to take a nap. Gotta sleep this off.

/rant off

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 4/24/2009 2:00 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh my don't you dare feel stupid.  Do you know how many people feel the way you do?  I had to step out of the room more then once and I am a nurse.  My daughter cannot stand to even hear people talk in detail about surgeries etc.  You are in good company.
I have had many parents that could not stay in the ER room with their child and their guilt overwhelms them but hey that is why God made angels of mercy...............nurses.  Just a pitch for my profession :)
 
I have helped lower to the ground some well over 6 feet tall men that go deer hunting and all but when it comes to somethings they just crumble. So it is ok and I know your hubby understands.  I hope you feel better after your nap.
 
Hugs
Kitt
 
 
 

 
 

Kitt, Co-Moderator:
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Co-Moderator Depression
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Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


vestabula
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 2855
   Posted 4/24/2009 2:14 PM (GMT -7)   

I'm older than dirt, but way back in high school in a Driver's Ed class they showed us a movie on what can happen in a car crash.  One of the clips was a 'crash dummie' going through a windshield and this great big manly man next to me dropped out of his chair in a dead faint.  It wasn't even a real person!  I have a friend who's a teacher and one little darling stabbed another child in the arm with a pencil and it stuck there.  Over onto the floor like a tree in the forest.

I'm not that great with medical procedures either.  Soooooo...Don't feel stupid!  We're just 'sensitive'!  Hubby likes all those shows like Bones, Fringe...all so graphic I can't look even though intellectually I know the rotting head in the ditch isn't real!

huggies

Donna


fibro, menieres disease, RLS, anxiety disorder, disc compression, scoliosis, spinal stenosis TMJ  Meds: Lexapro and valium


Allestaria
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 341
   Posted 4/24/2009 2:43 PM (GMT -7)   
I can't watch those shows either.

But on to the sad news. Hubby just called and said the little girl Miss Ninja has to be put to sleep. She has a birth defect. Every time she eats her lungs collapse and she can't breath. According to the vet they are born with this type of thing. But it goes away after a few hours after birth. Miss Ninja's did not go away and there is no way to fix it. They said she will not survive with this and there was no way we can help her or aid her.

My poor Miss Ninja. Son is devastated. We gave away 2 kittens last night. Known as The Twins. That broke his heart. We had planned on keeping Miss Ninja and Spazz. We are down to just Spazz now. Another Male kitten but we hadn't planned on keeping him.

Wow my day is shot. =(

And thank you all. I don't feel so bad about wanting to run and hide. It kinda makes me feel less of a mom. I should be there to support my kids in there time of need. But Not this mom. I'll help any other way. But surgeries, shots etc. lol I guess that is why they have great grandparents!

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 4/24/2009 3:43 PM (GMT -7)   

I am so sorry about your kitty.  We have an appointment next week to put our oldest Dobie to sleep.  She is one of the original 2 we had and she has Wobblers disease, she cannot walk and falls down the stairs.  She also has lost control of her BMs. We have tried everything but sad to say we must let her go now.  The first one died in Nov of 2007 of severe arthritis at the age of 13 and this one is 11 years old.  It is so sad as this one is my hubbies.

On the bright side with have a 12 week old puppy..........Doberman male who is full of himself.  Our pets are part of our family.  Bless you and you are a great Mom. 

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator:
Anxiety/Panic 
Co-Moderator Depression
  Forums
Moderator: GERD/Heartburn
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


vestabula
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 2855
   Posted 4/24/2009 3:56 PM (GMT -7)   

Oh..I am sooooo sorry.  Pets DO become apart of the family and you know you did everything you could.  I have an 18 year old dalmation that is fading away.  But...as soon as she can't walk or play or eat...that's it.

Hugs for you,

Donna


fibro, menieres disease, RLS, anxiety disorder, disc compression, scoliosis, spinal stenosis TMJ  Meds: Lexapro and valium


Allestaria
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 341
   Posted 4/24/2009 9:41 PM (GMT -7)   
They are a huge part of the family. They are spoiled rotten. They even have a room to themselves. LOL
I love my babies.

Hubby brought her home and barried her close to him. It has been very hard on him. I'm being the tough one and helping him and my son through this hard time. She was only 9 weeks old. And pure black not one spot of white on her. Oh we so miss her already.

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 4/25/2009 6:42 AM (GMT -7)   
((((((((((((((((Hugs to You)))))))))))))))))
Kitt

Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 4/25/2009 7:22 AM (GMT -7)   
Allestaria I am so sorry you had to put your baby down. Hopefully, Spazz will bring your family lots of love and joy and help fill the void.

Hugs to your family,
Gail *Nanners*
Gail*Nanners* Co-Moderator for Anxiety/Panic Forum
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 33 years. Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, and Calcium and Xanax as needed. Resections in 2002 and 2005. Also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis and Anxiety. Currently my Crohns is in remission.
*Every tomorrow has two handles.  We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith"*
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