Help me... I desperately need it.

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Phobia
New Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 5/2/2009 7:35 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi there, im 14 years old and I live in a world of worry. Im in a relationship I have been for five months, and I love my girlfriend dearly. But I fear I will lose her to my problem. I worry too much on things that haven't happened yet or even know of. Like for example, I'll not talk to my girlfriend for a couple hours and ill think shes mad at me! When really she's only been cleaning her room or she doesnt have her phone with her. I know this stresses her out and probably annoys her. I ask her questions like; "Are you mad at me?" or "Are we okay?" Just stupid little things like that. Shes a great girl and i'd be very very very depressed if I EVER lost her. Maybe so depressed I would not eat for days and would sleep for hours on end! I just dont get it, I worry so much about stupid little things that aren't true. Now her sister tells me its a habit, but I think its a disorder because Im always feeling worried, you know that feeling you get inside you when your really worried. i have that usually 24/7. Im afraid to tell my parents i have some kind of problem because im afraid they'll think im a freak! Ive tried numours of things. Things that are so crazy I wont even tell you. I just want my girlfriend to be happy, when im with her we're so happy, I dont have that worry in my body or even think about her being mad at me or something like that! I play guitar and write music, it has helped a little, but not enough to get rid of the worry and stress. When my girlfriend and I are together, we cuddle, hug, kiss and all that stuff. Tell each other how much we love each other and what not, everything is amazing and beautiful. Im HAPPY, actully happy. SHes the only thing I get out of bed for. I buy her things and try to make her happy. It works too, she is so happy when I buy her a necklace or something. I just need help fighting this worry and stress. Anything helps! But remember im 14. Thanks! I appreciate it.

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 5/3/2009 5:07 AM (GMT -7)   

Phobia,

Welcome to HealingWell and the A & P Forum.  I am sorry your having anxiety and constant worries, however, I do wish you would give your parents a chance to help you. Perhaps you could sit down with your Mom and let out your feelings and ask for help.

I am going to post a link to another site that is for teens only that you may find helpful.  We are here to help and support you and I am glad you got up the courage to post here.  Please keep talking to us.

http://www.golivewire.com/

Take care,

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator:
Anxiety/Panic 
Co-Moderator Depression
  Forums
Moderator: GERD/Heartburn
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 5/3/2009 7:10 AM (GMT -7)   
I too think maybe you should talk with your Mom about this anxiety. It sounds like you would be helped with either some therapy or medication. I hope you open up to your Mom soon.

Big Hugs,
Gail *Nanners*
Gail*Nanners* Co-Moderator for Anxiety/Panic Forum
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 33 years. Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, and Calcium and Xanax as needed. Resections in 2002 and 2005. Also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis and Anxiety. Currently my Crohns is in remission.
*Every tomorrow has two handles.  We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith"*

Raniah
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1190
   Posted 5/3/2009 7:19 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Phobia,

Being in love is so exciting and overwhelming at times. The more important a person is to you, the more you want to make sure that everything stays good between you. It sounds like when you are together, you and your girlfriend share a lot of affection with each other, and maybe reminding yourself of those moments will give you the confidence in the relationship to avoid worrying so much when you aren't together. Trust your girlfriend to love you, and trust that her words and gestures of affection are real. It's healthy to have a bit of space in between times together....it keeps things exciting and gives you each something to look forward to. I agree with the others that you should probably talk to your parents about feeling so anxious all the time. They might understand you a lot better than you think. Good luck to you, and let us know how things are going.
Living one day at a time. 
 


benzsl
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 21
   Posted 5/3/2009 7:29 AM (GMT -7)   
Phobia:

Welcome and your among others with the same issues. I recently learned a few things regarding anxiety which seem to have helped me a great deal.

1. Anxiety is not an indication you are going "crazy", in fact, it is far from that! Your mind is soo active that is is always working up new creative outcomes to situations that really will not occur! It is actually the opposite of crazy, your mind is simply in high gear!
2. There is a "regulator" inside our brain that regulates between safe and danger. This area of the brain is not larger than a wallnut! For some reason, this regulator is in the "danger zone" so to speak due to the creative situations we generate as mentioned above. Just tell yourself that this wallnut is not going to control my life! This sounds funny, but it has heleped me a great deal!
3. Relax. Just sit in a chair or lay on a bed and breath in through the nose and out through the mouth. To he point where it sounds like waves coming in and out. Do this a few times a day, even when there are no signs of anxiety. This also helps maintain a "balanced" feeling through the day.
I know this sounds corney, but trust me it does work. Also, just keep in your mind, you are not alone. It is unreal how many people have anxiety issues but dont talk about it. Lately I have been honest about it with coworkers and family and find that they also at one point in thei rlife also had issues with anxiety or have had medication to control it.
Stay positive and THINK positive!

Phobia
New Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 5/4/2009 7:53 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey guys, I talked to my mom, she says im trying to give myself a reason to have something wrong with me!! But I know for a fact thats not the case!! I feel I have a problem, idk what to do. Clearly my parents wont listen. Ive been trying to be postive and what not, its kind of helping, but I still feeling worried. Like right now I am worried. Idk why, I just am. I need help guys, I really do. Please help me :(

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 5/5/2009 5:56 AM (GMT -7)   

Phobia,

Good Morning, you have received some really good advice here from the members.  I would like to see you check out the link I posted to you as it is geared to teens and you may find some answers from your peers that are going through the same thing as you are.

We are here to  support and advise but you are the one that has to do the work.  benzsl gave you great advice, please try some of the things posted.

Gentle Hugs

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator:
Anxiety/Panic 
Co-Moderator Depression
  Forums
Moderator: GERD/Heartburn
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Phobia
New Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 5/5/2009 6:10 PM (GMT -7)   
I have tried the breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth and that works for a little bit. It helped me sleep better, so thank you! I will definatly check the site out. Thanks guys!

Aries8
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 1015
   Posted 5/6/2009 12:14 AM (GMT -7)   
I have two daughters. This is why I don't want them having boyfriends. Teenagers are too young to deal with the emotional stuff that comes along with relationships. I'm not sure why you're worrying all the time. I do know you need someone to talk to. You can definitely keep coming on here. If your mom doesn't get it, perhaps speaking to the school psychologist or counselor will help. What about your father? A therapist would be good, too.

I also want you to know that if this relationship were to end, you would be okay. You were fine before this girlfriend, and you'll be fine after. Have faith in yourself. You're probably a strong person and it's amazing what we can go through.

When your thoughts turn to worries try to focus on something else. You need to retrain your thinking. Watch t.v., clean your room, go for a walk, start a hobby....any of these things will help. Please let us know how things go!
Anxiety Disorder/Mitral Valve Prolapse
 
50 mg. Lopressor, 40 mg. Prozac, Ativan as needed.

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