Could use a little help, please?

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enebriated_moose
New Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 5/4/2009 11:18 AM (GMT -7)   

Hello there.

For the last 5 months I had been in a relationship with a guy that meant the world to me. I lost something important to me to him, and I did so because I believed that he would take care of that and wouldn't abuse it. For this last month, we had been broken up, but still very close, so I never really considered us not a couple. Well, he had asked me to his Senior Prom.  (I myself am a sophomore.) I went with him. Things were going really well, and I was having a lot of fun. He took me home early because he said he was tired.
Well, turns out he lied to me.
He told me that next morning that he had been out drinking and smoking all night after he dropped me off. I asked him why he lied to me, and he said, "I lied to you so I could escape your vicious life cycle you have me in." I didn't quite understand.  (Though now I understand that he really meant that other people think I had him whipped, and it bothered him a lot.) He said then, "I just want to live the single party life and you're interfering with that."
I let him go then. I gave him his things back this morning. He deleted me off his myspace, signaling that apparently we can't even be friends now.
My anxiety level is out the roof. I don't want to see him. When I gave him his things back, I started feeling like I was about to have one, though I calmed myself down enough to where I was able to prevent it. I don't know how to control it. I mean, I'm the only girl who has ever treated him well, and we both very deeply cared for one another. And he's just going to throw that all away?
My chest hurts just thinking about it right now. I've learned now that I can't please everyone, and that it's not worth it to cry if thats how he's going to be. I just dread school. I dread walking in the halls, for fear that I'll see him.
Help?

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 5/4/2009 11:32 AM (GMT -7)   
 
Hello and welcome to HealingWell. We are a peer support group.

Support groups are a place for people to give and receive both emotional and practical support as well as to exchange information. People with health conditions, as well as their friends and families find support groups to be a valuable resource and get confirmation that their feelings are "normal", educate others, or just let off steam. IMHO joining a support group is joining a family.

I am going to guess here that you are in your teens as you mentioned senior prom. I think having a boyfriend  who likes you just as you are and doesn't need you to be what you are not is what your looking for. The most important thing is to be able to be your best self no matter who you are with. If you can't be yourself, then you probably shouldn't be in that relationship. It feels to me as if this boy is not the one for you.  You are worth much more then he knows so kick the anxiety to the curb or talk with your folks on how to deal with your anxiety but do not beat yourself up over this boy.

We are here to support you. ((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))

Gentle Hugs,
Kitt

 



 

Kitt, Co-Moderator:
Anxiety/Panic 
Co-Moderator Depression
  Forums
Moderator: GERD/Heartburn
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


enebriated_moose
New Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 5/4/2009 11:38 AM (GMT -7)   

Thanks.  (:

I guess it's just something I'm not sure of how to do. I was very deeply involved with him, and he just kicked me to the curb like that. He used what I'd given him to his advantage. I don't know how to control my anxiety most of the time. Often times I don't even know I'm about to have one until I start breathing really shallow and my chest starts hurting really bad.

Any ideas on how to control them?


TheBear08
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 5/4/2009 11:55 AM (GMT -7)   
sweet heart i love you and you know that. you are worth so much and he didnt give you enough. I hope you see how much you are worth, how many people love you and just want you to be happy. im here for you any time you need me

percycat
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 1952
   Posted 5/5/2009 10:39 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello, Moose!

I'm sorry that your boyfriend hurt you so. That would definitely fire up anyone's anxiety.

When I start getting that breathless feeling, I try to concentrate on breathing deeply and slowly. I also tell myself that it's just anxiety, and it can't hurt me. Sometimes, that makes it stop, but even when it doesn't, I feel stronger afterward for having tolerated the breathing symptoms without panicking.

percycat

Percy/Percycat

Co-Moderator, Anxiety and Panic Forum

 

DX: Anxiety, Depression, LPR (acid reflux)

Meds: Paxil, Nexium, Zantac


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 5/5/2009 10:55 AM (GMT -7)   
MOOSE
I too am going thru te same thing albeit I have or had been with him for 9 yrd

His excuse was that he could not handle all of my illnesses
He knew of most of them prior to relationship

If you need to talk my email addy is there at side okay...................LYN
 DX: Crohns,Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety/Panic,
Fibro & Other DD

Donate at  www.healingwell.com
 
                               Moderator@Alzheimer's..
              CO Moderator @ Anxiety and Panic........co Moderator Crohns
                            Keep The Fight Going..Or You Will Lose
               Look For The GOOD, Even At Your Lowest
  We Have Anxiety and Panic...................Anxiety and Panic DO NOT Have us         
   
                                     LYN


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 5/5/2009 4:14 PM (GMT -7)   

Hey Moose  :)

Great support from the members and I am glad you are talking to us.

Percy mentioned the controlled breathing as a way to keep your anxiety down.  Another is trying relaxation exercises.  

Relaxation exercises are also good for occupying mental capacity. Relaxation exercises are techniques to relax muscles and relieve tension by using controlled breathing and muscle flexing. They usually involve sitting down in a comfortable chair, closing your eyes and systematically tensing and relaxing different muscle groups in your body, usually starting with the legs and feet.

As you slow down your breathing and work your muscles, you are supposed to mentally put yourself in what you would consider a relaxing situation. The best thing about relaxation exercises is that they can be done almost anywhere and at anytime. Remember to use a sitting position when doing the exercises rather than lying down since you do not want to fall asleep.

I use this method and I often will imagine myself in a calm and peaceful place such as sitting in the sun at the seashore.

You will be ok and with our help you will make it through.

I wish you peace and happiness but most of all I wish you love.

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator:
Anxiety/Panic 
Co-Moderator Depression
  Forums
Moderator: GERD/Heartburn
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Aries8
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 1015
   Posted 5/6/2009 12:22 AM (GMT -7)   
This isn't something you did. He needs help. No doubt he has a drinking problem. You don't need a boyfriend like that. I know it's tough. I've been there before. This will pass and a boyfriend will come along that appreciates you and doesn't lie. Hang in there!
Anxiety Disorder/Mitral Valve Prolapse
 
50 mg. Lopressor, 40 mg. Prozac, Ativan as needed.

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