Always on edge

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canonshooterhv20
New Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 5/11/2009 3:50 AM (GMT -7)   
I have read this forum a lot, and finally have decided to post.

I have always been a very outgoing and fun person, trying to be as carefree as I can. That looks good on the outside, but on the inside, I have been basically an emotional wreck since roughly my freshman year of high school (23 now). It's not so much that I am depressed or unhappy with things, I mainly am just on edge and nervous about everything. Anytime I do something that could have any sort of risk involved, I find myself thinking of 100 different ways I may have just messed up the rest of my life, or could mess up the rest of my life. So far, I've been very lucky that nothing has gone wrong, but what concerns me is that it probably isn't luck, it just feels that way.

What's worse is that the longer I go, the less risk i seem to take while worrying more about each risk. Doing small things like feeling sick and taking a half day off work make me worry all the rest of the time that I will be fired, a general worry i have any way even though I am consistently told I do a god job.

I also worry about things in a relationship, thinking things like oh I should not even start to talk to another girl because if my girlfriend found out it would be over and i would ruin it, only to have her in reality not care at all. It's beginning to wear on me more and more than i find myself in tears and breaking down more often than I used to over things. I literally find myself on my knee's praying and begging forgiveness for anything and everything I have done, hoping I stay "lucky" as long as I can to have my future plans pan out.

I know some degree of worrying is normal, but I don't think that breaking down in tears and shaking, worrying that life is going to change for the worse at every turn is normal. I am usually the rock for everyone else, the solid ground that my friends and family come to with problems, and the one to assure others that the past is the past, and things will work out how they will. Can't change it, can't turn back time, so might as well just live with what you're given and don't worry about what you can't change, and change what you don't like in the present. I just wish i could follow my own advice, because I have a real hard time practicing what I preach.

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 5/11/2009 5:37 AM (GMT -7)   
 
Welcome to HealingWell and I am glad you have taken the plunge and posted.
 
It feels to me like you have anticipatory anxiety. 

Anticipatory anxiety is the anxiety one experiences before starting a challenging activity. Most often, anticipatory anxiety is a lot higher than what you actually end up experiencing.

Why do we experience anticipatory anxiety? I think it’s because the panic response is over-zealous about doing its job: trying to locate any danger, in order to protect us. When it can’t find any danger in the present, it looks into the future. Sometimes, the only possible “danger” it can find is something you haven't done yet!

Each time you actually start the new activity – bringing the activity into the present – the anticipatory anxiety fades away.

As you continue to do your healing work, the anticipatory anxiety will gradually lessen on its

CBT therapy has been found to be very helpful for people with anxiety.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy is based on the idea that our thoughts cause our feelings and behaviors, not external things, like people, situations, and events. The benefit of this fact is that we can change the way we think to
feel / act better even if the situation does not change.

Again a warm welcome,

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator:
Anxiety/Panic 
Co-Moderator Depression
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Moderator: GERD/Heartburn
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Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


canonshooterhv20
New Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 5/11/2009 6:15 AM (GMT -7)   
Seems like this could be possible at the same time as other issues. I find myself knowing I shouldn't do an activity, but anyways, and then feel bad about that activity afterward and worry about consequences that I know in my brain aren't going to happen, but it's almost like my gut instinct get's overwhelmed and turned into anxiety.

They say follow your gut and instinct, but what if it's usually wrong? Feeling like something bad is going to happen as a consequence of a certain action, and then nothing bad ever happens. Almost as if I am anticipating bad consequences for every action I take, and they never come. It really begins to become a burden, because I sit and wait for those bad consequences that never show up, just feeling that one day I'm going to be unlucky and have the worst actually go through, and then be in a world of pain and suffering. While I wait for it, my stomach churns, my mood changes all over the place, and I constantly feel like things can't get any worse. then, nothing wrong happens, and I feel a huge burden lifting relief.....until the next time (usually shortly after). Then it starts all over. Been doing this for years now, I just want to feel like everything I do isn't a burden and an elephant on my back. I guess I need to look at not only my anxiety towards my decisions, but also the decisions themselves. If I always feel that way, there has to be a reason my gut is getting worse each time and making me feel bad each time for the activities. Maybe it's a warning/wake up call, but I just wish everything I did didn't make me feel like I am going to suffer horrible consequences for it.

Aries8
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 1015
   Posted 5/11/2009 5:39 PM (GMT -7)   
You seem to do a lot of things that could possibly have bad consequences. How about not doing them? We have to take chances in life. The consequences come with the territory. But don't take any risks that aren't necessary. I'm thinking of the immoral or illegal ones. Life is difficult already without adding these problems to it.

You would do well with a therapist/psychologist. I think you would feel a lot better after seeing someone. Don't make life any harder than it already is. Slow down and enjoy what you have. Try not to overthink everything and please, take my advice and see a professional. Feel better soon!
Anxiety Disorder
 
40 mg. Prozac, Ativan as needed.

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