Got Upset Yesterday about my Sister's Death

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P-Fit
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 419
   Posted 5/20/2009 11:05 AM (GMT -7)   
My mom called me yesterday when I was eating with my family. She starts blabbering about the police calling with an answer about my sisters death, but she refused to tell me what they said! It's been 10 weeks and we were waiting for the toxicology report. I had to call my other sister to get the story which made me VERY angry because I didn't want to upset her. Those 2 were very close (1 yr apart) and she is taking her death so hard.
 
Well, I found out that they basically dont know what happened to her. They ruled out heart, stroke, blood clot and all that. They THINK hypothermia because she was out in the cold for 2 days with no coat and the weather was in the 20's. They also said that sometimes the electrodes misfire in a Schizophrenics brain and it can cause death! I've NEVER heard anything like that before!! Needless to say, I'm really upset. I gave the Drs the ok to give her shock therapy and now I wonder if that may have contributed to her death. cry   I'm trying not to dwell and to be strong. I'm weaning off anxiety meds and so far its been ok...just mild GI symptoms and tingling/anxiety. I dont want to take a step backwards.
Dee-39yrs old wife and mom of 3 boys
UC/PTSD/Panic Disorder/Depression/myofacial pain syndrome 2009-750mg colozal/.750mg clonazepam, 5mg Lexapro-1,000mg canasa/Fioricet/Prilosec OTC-2x daily, Triple Strength Fish Oils/Colonoscopies-4
 


P-Fit
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 419
   Posted 5/21/2009 1:24 AM (GMT -7)   
It's 3am and Ive been up since 1am with a panic attack. My stomach was in knots and I had all the tingling stuff again. Havent taken any anxiety meds though. I went to bed too late and have too much caffiene between my migraine meds and the pepsi I chased it down with. Keep thinking about my sis. have to work tomorrow. Need to sleep.



Dee-39yrs old wife and mom of 3 boys
UC/PTSD/Panic Disorder/Depression/myofacial pain syndrome 2009-750mg colozal/.750mg clonazepam, 5mg Lexapro-1,000mg canasa/Fioricet/Prilosec OTC-2x daily, Triple Strength Fish Oils/Colonoscopies-4
 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 5/21/2009 4:04 AM (GMT -7)   

Dear Dee,

I am so very sorry you are going through this terrible time.  I understand how you are feeling..............when our son died in a car crash I kept looking for reasons why and wondering what I might have been able to do to have prevented the accident..............the answer of course was nothing. 

You have been a wonderful and loving sister and please do not let the mumbo jumble talk of brain misfiring cause you to think you had anything to do with your sister's death.  You do not have that kind of power my dear friend, some things are just out of our hands.

I am sorry your Mom was not able to communicate with you and tell you the findings, losing a loved one is horrible and dealing with all the family dynamics is difficult for many of us.

Coping with an illness as serious schizophrenia is very challenging for families and the person with this disorder.  You made all your decisions out of love for your sister so please do not allow the "stinkin thinkin" to creep in.  Kick it to the curb and stay in the present moment.

Remember you are grieving your sister's death and grief spans a huge gambit on the emotional spectrum. Let yourself cry for your sister but believe that she knows how much you loved her and  you would never have done anything to harm her.

My prayers and hugs are with you.

I hope you make it through the day and remember my email is always open.

I wish you peace,

Kitt

 


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator:
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Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 5/21/2009 6:33 AM (GMT -7)   
P-Fit, I have to agree with Kitt. Please know that you were not in any way responsible for your sisters death. I just believe that you are going thru another phase in your grief. I lost my Mom in January. We had to remove her from life support. We all had a meeting with the doctors and they told us my mother could not survive without life support, so we all made the joint decision to remove her from the machines as her wish was not to be maintained by machines.

I stayed with my Mom from the time she was removed from the machines till she passed. My mom was made comfortable and did not suffer.

I tell you this because, since then I have suffered with alot of guilt. Did we remove her too soon from the machines? Did the medication to keep my mom comfortable (that I gave the ok for)cause my Mom to o'd? All silly questions, because the doctors had all assured us that she couldn't survive without the machines. These are normal feelings that we have when a loved one passes. It is another stage of grief.

Allow yourself to grieve for your sister, but rest assured you were not the cause of her passing.

God Bless,
Gail *Nanners*
Gail*Nanners* Co-Moderator for Anxiety/Panic Forum
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 33 years. Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, and Calcium and Xanax as needed. Resections in 2002 and 2005. Also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis and Anxiety. Currently my Crohns is in remission.
*Every tomorrow has two handles.  We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith"*

P-Fit
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 419
   Posted 5/21/2009 6:36 AM (GMT -7)   
Kitt you are such a blessing to me. Last night was a very difficult night. My stomach was so upset, my arm was tingling and I felt like I was crawling out of my skin. It was all I had in me not to call 911 this morning. I finally had to give in and take 1/2 a xanax. I'm at work right now. I think I need to ask my Dr about maybe adding Valium to help me taper off the clonazepam. This cut has been difficult and the added stress hasnt helped.

Dee-39yrs old wife and mom of 3 boys
UC/PTSD/Panic Disorder/Depression/myofacial pain syndrome 2009-750mg colozal/.750mg clonazepam, 5mg Lexapro-1,000mg canasa/Fioricet/Prilosec OTC-2x daily, Triple Strength Fish Oils/Colonoscopies-4
 

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