I need your support please

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Dannii
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 21
   Posted 5/23/2009 7:04 PM (GMT -7)   
My dear friends,

I am back but i wish i had good news.
Yesterday I suffered a major panic attack when i was in the bathroom. I wonder why do i get them when i am in the bathroom most of the time! does it happen to anyone?
I have been on Paxil 25 CR for a year now which i thought was controlling my OCD/panic but i did not see this one coming.

This panic attack lasted for an hour or so by that time i got to my doctor who immediately doubled my dose! . i am now on Paxil 50 mg CR.
I am worried that this dosage is a bit high. Upping the meds really scares me, what if they no longer work for me? I am really afraid of that.

I have a growling stomach/ tummy and diarrhea since i doubled my dose yesterday. I also could not sleep with frequent sweating and nightmares. It is 5:30 am and i am wide awake in bed so i thought i would reach out to you people who have always listened to me and offered me unconditional support.

At such times i have no one to turn to, no friend around me knows this and i cannot afford losing my job so i have to put on a fake brave face and go to work and smile while deep down inside i am riddled with anxiety, doubt and fear.
Your comments lift me up and help me deal with these issues in my life. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

Hibee
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 6486
   Posted 5/24/2009 2:15 AM (GMT -7)   
Dannii
 
Sorry to hear you had a panic attack how are you feeling today? Im glad you went to see your doctor and that he/she has taken some action by increasing your medication.  I can relate to why you are anxious about this increase but think you should stick with it and see if it helps you out.  Any change in medication will give you side effects but these do pass once your body has got used to the new dose of the medication.  Have you ever considered therapy?  such as cbt as this has good results with people with anxiety related mental health problems and might be something you want to look into.  I hope you are feeling a lot better today and please keep posting and let us know how you are getting on.
 
Take Care
 
Ben

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 5/24/2009 3:57 PM (GMT -7)   

Hello Danni,

For people with GAD the effectiveness of PAXIL was demonstrated in patients dosed in a range of 20 to 50 mg/day. If you find that doubling the dose is a bit much do talk with you physician about cutting back a bit and working your way up to 50 mgs a little slower.  Just FYI.

I hope your day went well and we are here to support you.  Take care.

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator:
Anxiety/Panic, 
Depression,  & 
 
 GERD/Heartburn
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Dannii
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 21
   Posted 5/24/2009 11:14 PM (GMT -7)   
My dearest Friends,

Ben, thank you for your response and your concern, and Kitt i appreciate you always being here for us, you're such an angel.

My day yesterday was very slow in the morning but the afternoon was good as I felt energetic and slightly hyper which is very strange for me.
The side effects of immediately doubling the dose of Paxil have been taking me for a ride though. The diarrhea is persistent though under control but i had no appetite all day. I only had a small meal at night. I slept well but again Paxil makes me pop my head up at 5 am each morning like clock work. Not a good thing for a person with OCD, an idle mind makes me think of all the worst.

Hence today my morning was sad. It all happens in the bathroom , confined alone with the door closed, thoughts invade me and i succumb to thought OCD. I start doubting everything that i thought was all good the night before.

It's very odd how painful and sad my mornings are compared to the afternoons and the nights where i feel normal and able to control my OCD and let go of the silly thoughts.
I wonder if this is a sign of bipolar?

I have one last confession to make before i go to work late today. Why is it that only when i talk to you about my issues ( i mean write them) that i start to feel better and get ready to face the day. Am I a desperate person who is in constant need of help and assurance? Am I depending a bit too much on you guys?
I hope i did not say too much to put everyone on this forum off me. Accept my apologies for rambling again.

Grateful to have you ALL!

Allestaria
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 341
   Posted 5/24/2009 11:55 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello Dannii,

What is a support forum if not used for support? It would be nothing.
If we didn't have the support we get from eachother a lot of us would be in a poor state of mind.
I for one love coming here. I read post after post and then post on subjects I think I can help with or add to all the time. I think I check these forums probably 10 times a day if not more!

I am better in the mornings then I am in the afternoon's. Mornings I am dealing with my back pains to much to worry about anything else. Plus having the kids and hubby to keep me very busy in the am helps a lot. But once they are off with friends/work. I have a lot more free time to freak out.

I am a big person on writing your thoughts and feelings down. As I think it is very therapeutic. Even if it is a message board. Putting your thoughts on "paper" gives you the chance to actually see/read how you are really feeling. Its kind of like playing your own home made movie. It helps yourself understand what you are actually going threw. I for one always feel 10x better when I can post how I'm feeling. Then if I have that return feeling. I can remember or look up my thoughts and emotions that day and recount what I was going through. It often reminds me of YES I have done that before it is not new or strange. Its just one of my "symptoms" I have to deal with and get past.

I don't have a notebook as I am ocd about my handwriting. And my spelling. So I use email and forums to post how I'm doing.
I have tried several times to keep a journal but find I will rewrite it so many times I forget what I truly wanted to say.

Keep up the chatting its good for you! And with people who understand how you feel is even better!

Take Care and have a great day!
Cary

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 5/25/2009 5:53 AM (GMT -7)   

Danni,

Good Morniing and join my club, mornings are my bad times. I wake up and try to stomp down the bad "stinkin thinkin" but it often overwhelms me as I wonder what I will do each day and with whom and why I am even here on some days...........  I do much better when I am scheduled to work that day.  I will usually get a grip after coming here and responding to others as helping others makes me feel better.  :)

One of the best remedies for anxiety is to talk about it. Here's where good friends and family can come in. The old adage "A problem shared is a problem halved" comes into its own here, and that is most likely why you feel better after you have post to your HW family. 

Remember, support groups are a place for people to give and receive both emotional and practical support as well as to exchange information. People with health conditions, as well as their friends and families find support groups to be a valuable resource and get confirmation that their feelings are "normal", educate others, or just let off steam. IMHO joining a support group is joining a family.  You have not said to much.......we are here for you.

Gentle Hugs

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator:
Anxiety/Panic, 
Depression,  & 
 
 GERD/Heartburn
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources


Precious Gem
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1139
   Posted 5/26/2009 8:53 AM (GMT -7)   

My first panic attack was standing in line at Walmart with a ton of groceries in my cart.  Thought I was going to stop breathing before I got out of there! Whew..................

I  have a sensitive stomach and with any med increase, we have to go very slow which means it takes even longer to feel better. 

It is nice to have a place to vent and share experiences.  I know what you mean about the working situation and you are doing the right thing.  I do not mean it is right to always hide your feelings but the workplace has changed so much and you never know who you really can trust.  Sometimes it is a downfall to confide in the wrong person.  Like walking a tightrope......and I am not very coordinated....haha

Hope we both feel better soon.

Gem turn

 


Aries8
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 1015
   Posted 5/26/2009 5:44 PM (GMT -7)   
I think you instantly feel better after posting on here because you're acknowledging your feelings and fears. You know we suffer as you do. It always helps to talk to someone who knows what you're going through.

Anyway to not be confined in the bathroom in the mornings? Perhaps do your make-up in your room? Maybe shower at night so you don't have to in the mornings? Or, repeat to yourself while in the bathroom that it is just anxiety. It will pass. Your feelings are harmless. Eventually these episodes will stop.

I sure hope you feel better today!!
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
 
60 mg. Prozac, Ativan as needed.
 
"The part can never be well unless the whole is well." Plato


sylknmyst
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 467
   Posted 5/26/2009 7:48 PM (GMT -7)   
I can totally relate to what you are saying...mine occur most often in the bathroom too..with the door closed.  I have found that if I leave it slightly cracked, I feel much better, and not trapped.  If you are able to, try leaving it open just a bit and see what happens...it's worth a try!!!  Good luck!
Sylknmyst
 
I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much.
-Mother Teresa-
 
Dx:  Anxiety, Depression
RX:  Klonopin .5mg


Dannii
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 21
   Posted 6/4/2009 11:25 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi to All my wonderful friends on the forum,

Thank you all for your wonderful comments and for making me feel like i belong. I feel blessed and privileged to have you as my companions through this journey.

I have tried most of your tips and fortunately they are all coming handy.
Thank you sylknmyst for the advice.I now leave the bathroom door ajar and it reduces the anxiety.
I also discovered that playing music slightly loud in the flat reduces my feeling of loneliness and at times i catch myself humming along. (does not always work though as some mornings are still bad).

However on days when i feel good and lifted like today i cannot help but acknowledge all those of you who helped me get here.
The side effects of upping the paxil dose to 50 mg have finally subsided which has given me more time to divert my thoughts. I still however have my compulsions.

My latest compulsion is excessive use of bandages. As a person who nibbles cuticles that bleed at times i now have bandages on 6 of my fingers. If i see as much as a small scratch or abrasion on my skin that does not even bleed i cover it with a bandage. I think i have developed a fear of blood or bleeding and a phobia of contracting germs or viruses through open wounds. It does get severe sometimes. People laugh at me at work but i cannot help it as bandages make me feel safe and prevent me from catching diseases ( Or so i feel).

Two days ago one guy whom i hardly know at work called me crazy to my face for doing this! At the time i felt sad and hid away in an office. but later on i came round to forgive him for he does not know what i go through each day. I don't know if i can get over the bandage issue. any advice out there?

Thank you all for making me feel accepted in society, for baring with me and for making me feel normal at times when others don't even have a clue.
I want to share my good day with all of you out there, wishing you a marvelous day full of warmth and peace of mind.

Lots oh hugs

Dannii

SmurfyShadow
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 2386
   Posted 6/5/2009 12:08 AM (GMT -7)   
Perhaps try the liquid bandages or dont nibble. You know my boyfriend, he nibbles Everytime I see him do it, I say "Iie" oh, let me translate, that is "No". So he looks at me looks at his hand and puts his hand down hehe. And you said most of your panic attacks happen in the bathroom, why is that? What is the fear? Are you afraid of the room shrinking and squishing you? I get that way on really small bathrooms. But I'm clasterphobic. My clasterphobia actually causes me to have panic attacks. As for the loose stools, you need to tell your doctor. To help firm up, eat more fiber (fiber can both firm and loosen you, its a two way street). And be sure to watch out for hemmoroids, with all your loose stools you are bound to have some wiccked hemmoroids. Try to eat some yogurt every day, the natural antibiodys in yogurt help keep hemoroids away actually. You can still get them but not as bad.
 
Smurfy Shadow/Desirèe 
DX: Wegener's Disease, Migraines, Diabetese Type II, PCOS, Lactose Intolerant, Benign Heart Murmer, Depression, Asthma, Asperger's Syndrome, Necrotizing Gramultous Inflamation in eye, A.D.D., Acid Reflux, Tumor Behind the Eye, Carpal Tunnel, Fibromyolgia, Clasterphobic, Arthritis
Medications:  Tri Nessa, Percocet, Metformin, Prilosec, Protonix, Zantac, Advair, Cingulair, Albuterol, Calcium + Vitamin D, Pro-Air, Pepcid, Rolaids, Zofran, Compuzeen, Refresh Plus Eye Drops  PRN: Epi-Pen, Albuterol Nebulizer, Benedryl
Undergoing Radiation Taking Lorazepam (Ativan) on Radiation Days


Allestaria
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 341
   Posted 6/5/2009 3:12 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Dannii,

I would suggest going and getting your nails done. It helped me stop biting mine. I loved the way they looked all painted. I get air brush and love to show them off. Plus the taste of the acrylic is gross and you're less likely to bite them.

I wouldn't replace one habit with another. Personally you should check in to some antiseptic spray. Instead of putting a bandaid on your scratches use the spray instead. Again it will taste horrible and you wont want to put that in your mouth. And it will fight off germs where bandaids do not. Bandaids really just help keep dirt and basic junk from entering the wound. In order to prevent germs you need something to actually fight and keep them from entering the affected area. A bandaid does not stop air flow which in turn does not stop germs. It does help prevent just not a total defense.

Bandaids are my winner for my kids. If they get a scratch rather bleeding or not. Its their fix for the problem. So I can understand the "need" to cover it up. But you can do just as well if not better with an antibacterial spray.
Useing the spray will be less noticeable and should help with your onset of fear of germs. As it is better!! And you wont look like a walking advertisement for Bandaids!!

Wishing you well and peace of mind
Cary-Ann
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