I had a BAD meltdown today

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P-Fit
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 419
   Posted 5/25/2009 6:34 PM (GMT -7)   
cry  Today was one of the worst days emotionally I've had in a long time. My family got together yesterday for my sisters birthday. We've all been depressed since my other sisters death in March, so we really wanted to enjoy the day. Everything was fine until I drove my mother home. We passed the baseball stadium and she started to talk about my brother who died in 2007. He was a season ticker holder for 25yrs. The anniversary of his death is on Tuesday. Well, on the way home I had a panic attack. I was able to breathe through it and didnt take any additional meds.
 
Today we were getting ready to go to my in'laws when I got a sharp back pain...like a muscle pull. It kinda moved to my chest and I just lost it. I started shaking and crying uncontrollably. I cried for an hour straight while trying to NOT go to the ER again. I think my husband is getting frustrated with me, although he wont say it. I basically shut down and slept for 3 hours. I feel SO drained and tired right now. My body is tingling and I have that burning sensation that I haven't had in a year in my chest, back, arms and legs. Maybe my emotions are finally coming out from my sisters/brothers death since my dose of Lexapro has been lowered. I dont know. I just feel such a wreck right now. confused


Dee-39yrs old wife and mom of 3 boys
UC/PTSD/Panic Disorder/Depression/myofacial pain syndrome 2009-750mg colozal/.750mg clonazepam, 5mg Lexapro-1,000mg canasa/Fioricet/Prilosec OTC-2x daily, Triple Strength Fish Oils/Colonoscopies-4
 

Post Edited (P-Fit) : 5/25/2009 10:51:45 PM (GMT-6)


Grizzly pooh
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 72
   Posted 5/25/2009 9:12 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Dee, you've had a tough time, losing your brother and your sister too. I get the tingling and burning that sounds like yours, and when I refer to it as a meltdown as well! I also have a husband who tries to be kind but doesn't get what I'm going through, and yes he gets very frustrated. That can make it worse can't it? because then I'm worrying about the effect my anxiety is having on him and the kids.
You have alot on with 3 kids and your extended family. I guess there's no way to avoid the grief you feel about losing your brother and sister. I wish I could somehow share it with you and lighten the load, but at least I can let you know that I'm thinking of you and you're not alone. Others have gotten through bad times, and you can too. Good luck xx

P-Fit
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 419
   Posted 5/25/2009 10:01 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for your encouraging words. Its almost midnight and Im up listening to the rain...cant sleep. When I get anxious like this I stay on the couch because I will just toss, turn and sigh. That keeps my husband up and makes everything more stressful. The muscle pain has lessened thanks to pain killers but I'm finding it hard to settle down and calm my mind. Food Network is a pretty good distraction right now. The hubby and I should probably got to a counselor. I know he's got some frustration and resentment (medical bills for panic related ER trips have been zapping to the savings). I feel misunderstood and fell that he's working too hard and putting family 2nd...maybe because he doesnt know how to deal with my anxiety issues. I definately want to nip it before it becomes a big issue in our mariage.
Dee-39yrs old wife and mom of 3 boys
UC/PTSD/Panic Disorder/Depression/myofacial pain syndrome 2009-750mg colozal/.750mg clonazepam, 5mg Lexapro-1,000mg canasa/Fioricet/Prilosec OTC-2x daily, Triple Strength Fish Oils/Colonoscopies-4
 


Grizzly pooh
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 72
   Posted 5/26/2009 1:31 AM (GMT -7)   
I know what you mean. We sound alike...except that I'm in Australia. I sit/lay on the lounge too instead of tossing and turning in bed. I found that taking a sleeping tab or herbal sleep remedy some nights really helps me get sleep. I don't always feel great but definitely better if I'd had a full nights sleep.
I've had counselling before and am starting back with a new counsellor this week, but I haven't had counseling with my hubby. I've suggested it but he says its my problems for me to sort out. I do think it could help tho, to be able to tell each other what we're feeling. I know my anxiety/depression stresses him because he can't see why I'm like it. He says he goes into a holding pattern when I get like this. I think work becomes their distraction.
Our life is good and there are no real major problems, so why am I like this? this is my 3rd big meltdown in 2.5 years, i'm 43 now and it seems to be getting worse with age. I'm off work for a while this time, and just started Lovan a week ago which hasn't helped yet but I"m hoping it will soon. I live a long way from all my family and it makes me feel very isolated. My husband says that he's my family and doesn't understand that I miss my parents and sisters.
Hang in there, I hope you can get some sleep xx

P-Fit
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 419
   Posted 5/26/2009 1:47 PM (GMT -7)   
I called and left a message for a counselor today. I'll talk to my husband about going with me tomorrow. I'm too emotionally drained to do it today. Got about 3 hours of sleep last night but fortunately I dont have any thing to do this evening so I can get some rest.
Dee-39yrs old wife and mom of 3 boys
UC/PTSD/Panic Disorder/Depression/myofacial pain syndrome 2009-750mg colozal/.750mg clonazepam, 5mg Lexapro-1,000mg canasa/Fioricet/Prilosec OTC-2x daily, Triple Strength Fish Oils/Colonoscopies-4
 


Aries8
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 1015
   Posted 5/26/2009 2:09 PM (GMT -7)   
Well, I can relate with the husband thing. We almost divorced in January of 2008. I suggested marriage counseling which we went to about 4 times. It was a group class. It did help but we don't practice what we learned. I've learned to not speak too much to him about my anxiety or depression. I leave all that for my psychologist and a few friends (plus my journal).

Dee, you've been through a lot lately. As you said, it could be your body/mind finally grieving. This will pass. Try to relax through it and go easy on yourself. I know it's frustrating and tiring and you wish you could just leave this nightmare. I can relate.

Hang in there, friend! Life will get better!
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
 
60 mg. Prozac, Ativan as needed.
 
"The part can never be well unless the whole is well." Plato

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