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slz727
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 216
   Posted 6/3/2009 5:55 AM (GMT -7)   
Has anyone had to deal with a gossip from work who calls you when your not at work for the reason why you are not there? I do and I have no idea what to say to her I feel it is none of her bussines!!!! I need to be nice because she is my co-worker but I do not feel like she needs to be calling me and asking me why I am not at work and when am I going to be back and she also has given my number out to other co-workers in case she can not get a hold of me. She calls 3 to 4 x a day untill I answer the phone. If anyone has a suggestion I would be greatfull.
 
SLZ

Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 6/3/2009 6:08 AM (GMT -7)   
If you are on short term disability you can contact your provider and they can contact your work and tell them not to disturb you. With this gossipy person, just tell her you are just having some personal health issues and really don't wish to discuss it at this time.
Gail*Nanners* Co-Moderator for Anxiety/Panic Forum
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 33 years. Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, and Calcium and Xanax as needed. Resections in 2002 and 2005. Also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis and Anxiety. Currently my Crohns is in remission.
*Every tomorrow has two handles.  We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith"*

slz727
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 216
   Posted 6/3/2009 6:21 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you,
I just did not know a nice way to say to her to mind her own buss. I realy feel that if i totaly offend her she will make my life a living hell when I go back. Thank you so much for your input on this subject and I will try it and see how it works and let you know.
SLZ

dixibella
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 161
   Posted 6/3/2009 6:37 AM (GMT -7)   
I would contact your HR department. There is no reason this person should be harassing you at home while you are on leave. It should be your bosses job to rein in this sort of behavior. 3-4x a day is excessive. You could also contact your boss and perhaps your boss can tell her she needs to limit her personal phone calls since you are out of work at the moment and are unavailable I would consider that a personal call. Good luck with this - nosy people can be so frustrating. Sometimes they mean well but you need to focus on yourself, not busybody coworkers. Try not to worry about what will happen when you get back to work, you need peace for now and you shouldn't feel obliged to entertain this persons gossipy nature. Sometimes people don't understand the idea of space and need a sharp reminder before they'll let up. You are totally in the right to take action about this, its for your health.

slz727
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 216
   Posted 6/3/2009 6:55 AM (GMT -7)   
Dixibella,

Thank you for your suggestion. This person is not calling me from work but calling me from her cell phone on breaks and then when she gets out of work so HR or my boss will not be able to stop this problem. She is doing this to find out all she can so she can report what is wrong with me back to my other co-workers. She is also mad because she has to do some of my work while I am out. I considered having my husband answer the phone to tell her that I can not talk but I an doing fine. Don't know if that will work but I thought I would give it a try. Does this sound like a possible solution?
SLZ

Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 6/3/2009 8:08 AM (GMT -7)   
Personally, I think you need to be straight with this lady. Not tell her what is going on, but just politely but firmly let her know that you have some personal health issues going on and you are not comfortable talking about it at this time. I don't think having your husband do it is going to stop her from calling. JMHO
Gail*Nanners* Co-Moderator for Anxiety/Panic Forum
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 33 years. Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, and Calcium and Xanax as needed. Resections in 2002 and 2005. Also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis and Anxiety. Currently my Crohns is in remission.
*Every tomorrow has two handles.  We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith"*

slz727
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 216
   Posted 6/3/2009 8:18 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank You I will try it!

Allestaria
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 341
   Posted 6/3/2009 10:35 AM (GMT -7)   
See I would be worst in this situation.

I would come up with a whopper of a story. Something that would so scare her like crazy. That some really contagious disease had come to the front. And you need to stay home because of it. And then I would add.. Oh btw since you called and like to chat with others. You might want to mention they should get checked too.
But I would. I would make up some really off the wall story. For 2 reasons.

1. She will have her gossip.
2. She will be freaking out and not only not call. But stay away from you at work!

Of course the only person who would/needs to know the true story is the Head hancho. Which he/she does so no reason to worry.

I had this problem once with a very gossipy person. And wow did I come up with a whopper. It was so funny when I went back to work. These people expected to see me in not very good situation. But boy did the gossiper look like a lieing fool when I went back to work and denied everything!! It made a nice 3 weeks when she looked like an idiot.

Aries8
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 1015
   Posted 6/3/2009 10:45 AM (GMT -7)   
I don't think you owe her any explanations. Politely tell her that it is none of her business and if the calls continue, you will report her to the HR department at your job. I'm pretty sure she is not supposed to be giving out your personal numbers, too.

You don't need this and she sounds like a Wacko.....
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
 
60 mg. Prozac, Ativan as needed.
 
"The part can never be well unless the whole is well." Plato


LALady
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 114
   Posted 6/3/2009 1:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Definitely go to your boss or HR. I don't think it should matter that she calls you on her breaks. I mean, if she was on her breaks and smoking crack or doing donuts in the parking lots, I'm sure your boss or HR would do something about it. I know harassing you on the phone is neither illegal or as egregious as smoking crack and driving erratically, but you get my drift. She shouldn't be able to use the guise of "I'm on my break" to absolver her acting like a jerk. If HR knows it's a problem, they can and probably will address the situation. And yes, giving out personal contact information is not cool. I am sure she can get dinged for that!

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 6/3/2009 1:34 PM (GMT -7)   

Hey, you are getting lots of good ideas...............for me I would choose my battles and not let this turn into any big deal.

Tell this person politely that you are home ill and you will see her when you return to work.  No explanation is necessary.  You do not have to justify anything to this person.  You have the right to your privacy.

Amen.

Kitt


Grizzly pooh
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 72
   Posted 6/3/2009 7:16 PM (GMT -7)   
Maybe don't answer the phone? just a thought

SmurfyShadow
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 2386
   Posted 6/3/2009 9:39 PM (GMT -7)   
Ive had one better, I lost my voice, and I was at the doctor office. Turned out to be a bad case of strep. Anyhow, as I barely had a voice, my doctor called me in sick to work....work said "is it medical related?" (after my doctor said he was dr so and so and my primary health physician). Tell the girl "hey, I know we are friends, but can you please just call me if you really need to or just once a day? I like talking to you, but when I'm not in the office, I'm not there for a reason. And when I stop taking care of myself, to talk to friends, it just makes me sick longer. Would appreciate it if I can just get some space so I can get better. THanks"
 
Smurfy Shadow/Desirèe 
DX: Wegener's Disease, Migraines, Diabetese Type II, PCOS, Lactose Intolerant, Benign Heart Murmer, Depression, Asthma, Asperger's Syndrome, Necrotizing Gramultous Inflamation in eye, A.D.D., Acid Reflux, Tumor Behind the Eye, Carpal Tunnel, Fibromyolgia, Clasterphobic, Arthritis
Medications:  Tri Nessa, Percocet, Metformin, Prilosec, Protonix, Zantac, Advair, Cingulair, Albuterol, Calcium + Vitamin D, Pro-Air, Pepcid, Rolaids, Zofran, Compuzeen, Refresh Plus Eye Drops  PRN: Epi-Pen, Albuterol Nebulizer, Benedryl
Undergoing Radiation Taking Lorazepam (Ativan) on Radiation Days


slz727
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 216
   Posted 6/4/2009 6:44 PM (GMT -7)   
I talked with this person today and when she asked me what was wrong with me I told her that I was not able to talk about it. I then changed the subject. She tryed to ask me again and I told her I had to let her go. She is not helping my situation at work either because she is telling me about the negitive things that have been said about me since I have been gone. She even stated that one of my bosses came out in a dept meeting and stated that no one should not take notes for me because she dosen't see me coming back. I have asked this person to quit calling me and that I do not want to know what people are saying about me. This is not helping my recovery at all. I am hoping that she got the message and will not call me again. Thank you all for your help in this situation and I am glad that I joined this forum.
SLZ

racer x
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 41
   Posted 6/7/2009 12:22 PM (GMT -7)   
well, first of all, being nice is ok, i would find a way to say giving out your # is something you would rather do yourself. and being away from work is your buisness, unless you decide to include others in why you will be out. but being a co worker maybe she really is concerned for you, however if you didnt include her to begin with lol, i would asume she makes it a practice to be everyones friend, regardless of that persons feelings on the matter.

slz727
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 216
   Posted 6/7/2009 5:54 PM (GMT -7)   
racer x,
The last line of your response is the truth this person is everyones friend or atleast she acts like it. Being a gossip is not easy work from what I can tell and try to stay out of it. I do not feel that my mental status at this time is anyone at my jobs business. I do not want people making coments like "She's crazy" or "She can't do her job because, she has mental problems". This is all sterio types that I do not want to be associated with. I have decided that if I return to this job that when someone asked why I was gone I will tell them it is a personal issue that I am not willing to discuss. If that hurts someones feelings to bad. I do not have time for that stuff to get in my way. I am not there to make friends but a paycheck.

SLZ
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