Feeling very low and anxious.

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Hibee
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 6494
   Posted 6/15/2009 8:55 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi

I am feeling very low at the moment and my depression seems to be getting worse and anxiety kicking in about all sorts of things which are going on in my life at the moment. I just seem to be in the constant cycle of anxiety/depression and one seems to affect the other and I am struggling to cope with these feelings, I know I should try and stay positive about things and stay in the moment but that is hard when im feeling so depressed. I am not happy at work and find it a struggle to get through the day and have had a few moments were i just want to cry and have had to hold back the tears, I am looking for a new job but don't feel up to putting myself through the stress and anxiety of going for an interview and fear rejection. Its been over a year now since I had my diagnosis of GAD/Depression although I have suffered with these for as long as I can remember and its really sinking in how hard it is going to be to get myself out of this hole i have found myself in. I have still not heard a start date for my CBT and im anxious to get started and start to confront these feelings and try and manage them to or more reasonable level were they don't affect my life so much. Im finding it hard being single and not having that special someone to talk and share things with and feeling really depressed about this but don't have the confidence to go out and meet new people as my anxiety takes over and all I want to do is leave and head home. I let my problems and worries build up and then i find my self in a situation like i am now and find it hard to talk to people about it which is why i like to come here although i don't like to vent i find it helps to right things down and i also like to help others here on HW if i can, my parents have been very supportive and have helped me which im very grateful. I am sick of always feeling tired and if i could only get my sleeping patterns back to normal im sure things would improve for me. Thanks for listening.


Ben sad

James Jr
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 39
   Posted 6/15/2009 9:04 AM (GMT -7)   
I am truly very sorry you are in such a 'rut' at the moment and all the positive words you may or may not see on the screen may or may not help but I'm sure you know that.
Take comfort in this thought, I assume you've been in this position somewhat before and you managed to climb out of it, take refuge in the fact that you will again.
As for being single, just remember the grass is always greener on the other side....what a cliche', huh? What I mean, is with me for example I sometimes think it would be much easier if I were single to deal with my issues/problems & I know if I were single, like yourself I'd probably feel the opposite which is perfectly normal.

Anyway, it seems like you have a plan in front of you, just not the exact timing of everything....do what you can, nothing more and take care & Best of Luck.

Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 6/15/2009 12:03 PM (GMT -7)   
I am really sorry to hear you are having such a hard time right now. I can't believe how long they are taking to get you into the CBT, thats not right. In the meantime, I am going to give you the website for the online CBT, maybe you can work on that for now. Be sure to come here and vent anytime you need, we are always here for you.

http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

Big Hugs,
Gail *Nanners*


Gail*Nanners* Co-Moderator for Crohns Disease and Anxiety/Panic Forum
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 33 years. Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, and Calcium and Xanax as needed. Resections in 2002 and 2005. Also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis and Anxiety. Currently my Crohns is in remission.
*Every tomorrow has two handles.  We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith"*

Treester
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 73
   Posted 6/15/2009 12:30 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm sorry you're having a tough time.

LALady
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 114
   Posted 6/15/2009 1:04 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Ben,

I am really feeling for you. I have had to wait a month to begin my CBT due to my doc's schedule. She's a rotating resident in the psych dept at the teaching hospital which somehow affected her ability to see me on a weekly basis for a while. Hang in there!

As for being single, I know how that can feel like the pits when you're dealing with all these roller coaster emotions. I have been there, too, and there were weeks when I wouldn't leave my bed because I felt like no on would understand what was going on. It took too much energy to explain it to my friends and even then I didn't want them to think I was weird. Also, my family was supportive but not with me all the time and not able to connect with me on the same level a significant other would. They tend to take a more nurturing, "fix it" approach to your problems.

But, with that being said, dealing with these issues is not always easier with a boyfriend/girlfriend. I lost a boyfriend over my issues years ago because he simply couldn't relate to my feelings and struggles. My boyfriend now is amazingly kind and patient and supportive, but even then, it's tough. I almost think sometimes it's easier to get on your own two feet by yourself without the additional worry of the fallout affecting someone else.

Long story short, it's never easy. Even when you have someone in my opinion. You still have to go through a lot of your mental suffering by yourself and with your therapist.

Again, hang in there. Thank you for always supporting me and I will do my best to look out for you on here as well.

xo


27 year old female
Attorney
Dx: IBS, GAD
Meds: 20 mg Celexa, .5- 1mg Klonopin


Hibee
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 6494
   Posted 6/15/2009 2:55 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi

Thanks for the reply's I just want to get things sorted out mentally and get started with the CBT as I found therapy really helped me the last time I did some.

James thanks for your support your right I have been in this situation many times before and have managed to improve things so hopefully things will get better for me once i start the CBT.

Nanners I will look up the moodgym site, I completed half of it a few months back and did find it useful and it would be good to get things started ready for when i start it with my therapist.

Treester thanks for your post it means a lot to have your support.

belablue thanks so much for you support your post made a lot of sense to me, I have been single for a long time now and have avoided getting into a relationship as I feel that it would be unfair to put my mental problems onto someone else and agree that it might be better to sort out my anxiety/depression first then I may feel more confident with myself and going into a relationship. But at the same time i feel lonely and get depressed that I can not meet anyone. I can relate about the family issue as my family are very supportive and i love them to bits but i find it hard to get across how i am feeling. Thanks again

B en

LALady
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 114
   Posted 6/15/2009 4:57 PM (GMT -7)   
Ben,
 
Once you get past that hurdle of actually going out and meeting new people, just be confident in yourself and know that someone will admire and love you, even with your mental "specialties" as I like to call them. If they don't get it, that just signifies that is not the right person for you with the right level of emotional maturity and/or understanding and/or patience, etc. It is that person's loss.
 
I also had to learn to give people a chance. Too often I would run away from wonderful people because I perceived them to be unable to give me the support and empathy I needed. In fact, I think was just afraid of commitment and that's a whole other story.
 
What I also learned, is that you have to be a bit vulnerable.  Vulnerability breeds trust and bonding in a relationship. Not that you should dump all your problems on a girl within the first few weeks. That could scare her away. But, gradually open up and allow her to see you as you are. Confide in her about your feelings and your issues. It is better for her to understand, especially if you have a panic attack or something. That way she knows what you are going through rather than assuming you are acting weird because of something she did or said. I for one adore when a person, male or female, can be vulnerable. It signifies to me that they care enough about me and our relationship to open themselves and trust me.
 
Good luck with your CBT! When I start mine we can compare notes :)
 
Take care, Ben. 


27 year old female
Attorney
Dx: IBS, GAD
Meds: 20 mg Celexa, .5- 1mg Klonopin

Post Edited (belablue) : 6/15/2009 6:02:18 PM (GMT-6)


Mazfire
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1683
   Posted 6/15/2009 10:04 PM (GMT -7)   

Ben im so sorry life seems to suck right now. sometimes it just isnt fair. you should try and check out the link that Gail gave you to Moodgym, i was a bit cynical about it but i tried the online program and really benefited from it. i would recommend it to anyone trapped in a cycle of anxiety, negative feelings etc.

You are strong and you are totally capable of getting through this- all the best,

Maz XX


                        Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic- Depression
 
 
 
'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)
 
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Hibee
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 6494
   Posted 6/16/2009 1:22 AM (GMT -7)   
Maz

Thanks for your continued support I will check out moodgym, as i said I did complete half a few months back so will log back on as i can see the benefit of doing it. Hopefully I will here soon about the CBT and get started on that sooner rather than later. I hope all is well with you Maz? and im really pleased you have become a Mod as i know you will do a great job.

belablue,

Thanks for the great advice and support, You made a lot of good points in your reply to my post and I do need to give people a chance. I find it frustrating that people don't understand what its like to have anxiety/depression and tend to only have a few close friends who i feel do understand but then i tend to avoid others and I get anxious that people see me as hard to get on with. Good luck with your CBT and know I am here if you need support my friend.


Ben

Aries8
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 1015
   Posted 6/16/2009 12:21 PM (GMT -7)   
Dearest Ben, we have our highs and lows, don't we? It's tiring, frustrating and depressing. But we must go on. When you are feeling down or anxious, remind yourself that those feelings are only temporary. They will go away. Keep telling yourself that! I do.

I know you hate your job. Can you move to another position in your company? Or, make a list of the things you hate about your job and then think of ways to change them (if possible). If you're working on solving these problems, your anxiety will decrease and you'll feel a little better.

Are you doing anything that is relaxing every day???
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
 
60 mg. Prozac, Ativan as needed.
 
"Nothing makes us so lonely as our secrets." Paul Tournier


Hibee
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 6494
   Posted 6/16/2009 1:14 PM (GMT -7)   
Aries

Thank you so much for your support your right we both seem to be going through rough times at the moment and it is very tiring and depressing to feel traped in this cycle of anxiety/depression. You give great advice and agree that these feelings are temporary and maybe i do need to tell myself that more and try and stay positive but as you can apreciate it is hard. My job is making me depressed as i dont get on with my managers any more and im paranoid about them wanting to get rid of me. I am not doing the things i love to do as much due to being so tired so have not been windsurfing or climbing for a while now which does really fustrate me. Aries thanks again for your support we can get through this together and i hope things are well with you my friend.

Ben

Aries8
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 1015
   Posted 6/16/2009 11:28 PM (GMT -7)   
Yes, Ben, we will get through this together. Tell yourself every day, all day long, that these bad feelings are temporary. It does help! Try doing some other relaxing, fun things instead of the climbing or windsurfing. Those are probably difficult to do on a daily basis. They sound fun, though. Do you like reading? Running? Watching movies? You need distractions.

Also, remember that your work problem will not last. Another job will come along. It's only a matter of time.
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
 
60 mg. Prozac, Ativan as needed.
 
"Nothing makes us so lonely as our secrets." Paul Tournier

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