I am really feeling for you. I have had to wait a month to begin my CBT due to my doc's schedule. She's a rotating resident in the psych dept at the teaching hospital which somehow affected her ability to see me on a weekly basis for a while. Hang in there!
As for being single, I know how that can feel like the pits when you're dealing with all these roller coaster emotions. I have been there, too, and there were weeks when I wouldn't leave my bed because I felt like no on would understand what was going on. It took too much energy to explain it to my friends and even then I didn't want them to think I was weird. Also, my family was supportive but not with me all the time and not able to connect with me on the same level a significant other would. They tend to take a more nurturing, "fix it" approach to your problems.
But, with that being said, dealing with these issues is not always easier with a boyfriend/girlfriend. I lost a boyfriend over my issues years ago because he simply couldn't relate to my feelings and struggles. My boyfriend now is amazingly kind and patient and supportive, but even then, it's tough. I almost think sometimes it's easier to get on your own two feet by yourself without the additional worry of the fallout affecting someone else.
Long story short, it's never easy. Even when you have someone in my opinion. You still have to go through a lot of your mental suffering by yourself and with your therapist.
Again, hang in there. Thank you for always supporting me and I will do my best to look out for you on here as well.
Post Edited (belablue) : 6/15/2009 6:02:18 PM (GMT-6)
Ben im so sorry life seems to suck right now. sometimes it just isnt fair. you should try and check out the link that Gail gave you to Moodgym, i was a bit cynical about it but i tried the online program and really benefited from it. i would recommend it to anyone trapped in a cycle of anxiety, negative feelings etc.
You are strong and you are totally capable of getting through this- all the best,