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qwerty1
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 402
   Posted 6/16/2009 11:08 AM (GMT -7)   
Ok so I'm starting to realise more and more how much anxiety is ruling my life...how much I actually worry about everything. I have a lot of stress going on in my life at the moment and you know how some days you just want to cry...well one of the things that bugs me most of all is that when I feel like this for some reason I just can't cry. Crying to me is a massive deal and I get so anxious about crying in front of someone else even if I want to. Does that make sense? Its like some occasions I know I just need to let it all out and cry with someone there but I physically can't. And when this happens I get anxious and uncomfortable and sometimes get shaky. For example last night I was chatting to a friend about stuff and I so wanted and needed to cry but just couldn't...then as soon as I left her house and was by myself I cried loads and was so angry with myself for not being able to cry while I was talking.
 
This is normally just the case when talking about problems, if its something that spontaneously upsets me...hurting myself, or a nasty customer at work etc then its not usually an issue.
 
The thing is all these emotions are building up inside me and I don't know how to cry and I REALLY want to be able to...if that makes sense?!
22 year old female, from the UK. Diagnosed with Ulcerative Proctitis Jan '08. Hospitalised Jan '09 for 3 days IV Hydrocortisone - had no effect! Hospitalised Feb '09 for 7 days (5 days - IV Hydrocortisone)
  
Currently taking daily: 
20mg Prednisolone tablets, 100mg Azathioprine (started taking 11th May),1g Acetarsol suppository every other night, 1g Mesalazine granules x 2 
Motilium (anti sickness), 1.5mg Zopiclone (taken when needed for sleeping), 10mg Citalopram (anti-anxiety/depression), Probiotic Multivitamins 
                             
                             


Aries8
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 1015
   Posted 6/16/2009 11:42 AM (GMT -7)   
I usually cry in the shower if needed. No one knows I'm crying. The kids will get upset and ask why I'm crying if I do it anywhere else in the house. I've told them, "sometimes you just need to cry. Then you feel better."

As a child were you told not to cry? For some reason, you've learned that crying is a bad thing. I'm not a doctor, this is just a guess. If you can only cry when alone, then let it out! Either way you're releasing stress and anxiety.
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
 
60 mg. Prozac, Ativan as needed.
 
"Nothing makes us so lonely as our secrets." Paul Tournier


qwerty1
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 402
   Posted 6/16/2009 11:45 AM (GMT -7)   
I was abused growing up, and whenever I used to cry after being hit or whatever then I used to be made fun of. I guess I grew up to think it was easier to keep it all inside, rather than show my true feelings and be made a mockery of.

22 year old female, from the UK. Diagnosed with Ulcerative Proctitis Jan '08. Hospitalised Jan '09 for 3 days IV Hydrocortisone - had no effect! Hospitalised Feb '09 for 7 days (5 days - IV Hydrocortisone)
  
Currently taking daily: 
20mg Prednisolone tablets, 100mg Azathioprine (started taking 11th May),1g Acetarsol suppository every other night, 1g Mesalazine granules x 2 
Motilium (anti sickness), 1.5mg Zopiclone (taken when needed for sleeping), 10mg Citalopram (anti-anxiety/depression), Probiotic Multivitamins 
                             
                             


Aries8
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 1015
   Posted 6/16/2009 11:54 AM (GMT -7)   
I'm sorry to hear that! Childhood should be a time of love, discovery and assurance. I'm so sorry you missed out on all that. My childhood wasnt that great, either. Anyway, it sounds like you kept your emotions inside your whole life.

Let the emotions go now. You are free to cry and be angry. Start a journal. Write about your childhood and I guarantee you'll be crying. Getting it out helps a great deal. Remember, you are important and worthy of happiness.
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
 
60 mg. Prozac, Ativan as needed.
 
"Nothing makes us so lonely as our secrets." Paul Tournier


nellebutter
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 318
   Posted 6/16/2009 12:18 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm sorry for what you went through as a child and I know that I can't really say that I know how you feel, but I do know how it feels to have to hold your tears in until you are alone. I have done this a lot while dealing with this anxiety issue. I hate to be out somewhere and get hit with a panic attack and then I start to go crazy because I need to escape because I don't want anyone to see what's going on and think that I'm crazy( because they just don't understand). One thing I have learned from this anxiety is that holding it in does not make it better. Most of the time for me when I feel that anxiety monster creeping up on me and I start to get upset I will talk to my fiancee, or call one of my friends who understand, and just let it all out. I always feel better after doing this, maybe this will work for you also. Do you see anyone for your anxiety? I'm sure a therapist would work for your anxiety and the issues you have dealt with in the past, they may be linked to one another. Either way I know you can beat this.

Nelle
This too shall pass...


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 6/16/2009 1:39 PM (GMT -7)   

Qwerty,

I am so sorry for you what you suffered as you were growing up.  I am here to tell you crying is good for you.

It is a widespread belief in the western world that crying is therapeutic and also the converse, that failure to cry is a danger to our health.

Psychotherapists and counsellors from nearly every school or persuasion regard crying during the process of therapy as constructive rather than destructive.  They cannot all be wrong.

So let  those tears out and do not fear, no one is going to punish you any more.  We are here to listen and to support you.  You are family here and we care about our members.

Bless you,

Kitt


 

Kitt, Co-Moderator:
Anxiety/Panic, 
Depression,  & 
 
 GERD/Heartburn
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

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