Breakup Anxiety/Healing Help

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New Member

Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 6/19/2009 10:45 PM (GMT -6)   
OK here's my situation, and I'm sure it is one that likely strikes home with many of the people on this site. I started dating this girl my junior year in highschool. We immediately took to each other and fell completely in love within months. We did everything together and I was having the best time of my life. She was one grade younger than me and when college time came I went to a school that was about 4 hours away. We stayed together and I came back and visited almost every other weekend. After my freshman year she convinced me to move back to my hometown to go to school there with her because it would be more affordable. I left all my new friends and networks behind and moved back. We moved in together and lived together for about a year and a half. Finally, this January she initiated the breakup and I even agreed with it at the time. We were both having some doubts about how routine everything had gotten. After the breakup everything was great because she still called me all the time and we still hung out alot. Then eventually she stopped talking to me and I got into a panic. She dated a couple guys and I started losing my mind because I began to realize I was losing my best friend. I eventually cut off contact with her and didn't talk to her for about a month. Then she slowly started talking to me again and got back into my head. She now has a new boyfriend, but was still talking to me secretly. I finally broke down and told her I couldn't do it anymore and told her not to talk to me again. I haven't talked to her for 3 days now and I'm feeling pretty down. Any consolation?

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1683
   Posted 6/19/2009 11:57 PM (GMT -6)   

All i can say is ive been in similar situations and there is no easy quick fix. feelings get very hurt, but time does heal. If you are meant to be, it will happen. if you are not, then broaden your horizons and look elsewhere. good on you for being honest with her. i know your heart aches right now and my words wont change that, but i am sorry you are experiencing this and hope that you will come through it stronger than ever.

all the best,

Maz XX

                        Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic- Depression
'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)
Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, CFS, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Sinusitis, TMJ disorder, Asthma, Endometriosis, PCOS, Chronic E.N.T and Upper respiratory tract infections, Reactive Arthritis, GERD,  IBS, Glandular fever, Migraines, Anemia, Chemical/Noise/Light sensitivity, Trichotilomania, PTSD, Seasonal Mood  Disorder, OCD, Benign Vertigo,  Impaired immune system. Tachycardia, tinnitus, low clotting factor= bruising. Tendonitis, Bursitis.
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Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 6/20/2009 9:25 AM (GMT -6)   
I agree I think you did the best thing for you. Plus if you think about it, she is not being very honest with her new boyfriend, if you got back together wouldn't you now be wondering if she was doing the same thing to you??? Take time to heal your heart, and I am sure there is someone else special out there for you, who will love you the way you deserve.

Big Hugs,
Gail *Nanners*
Gail*Nanners* Co-Moderator for Crohns Disease and Anxiety/Panic Forum
Been living with Crohn's Disease for 33 years. Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, and Calcium and Xanax as needed. Resections in 2002 and 2005. Also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Osteoarthritis and Anxiety. Currently my Crohns is in remission.
*Every tomorrow has two handles.  We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith"*

New Member

Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 6/22/2009 1:30 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for the help. It's been a rough couple of months, but the no contact aspect is definitely helping. I feel a little better every day but I still get anxiety when I think about her. I suppose your right though. She's obviously not a very honest person, so I suppose I shouldn't feel too bad. She wasn't even very honest with me when we were together but I loved her more than anything.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 1015
   Posted 6/22/2009 6:34 PM (GMT -6)   
Bivvey, sounds like your first love! Those are often the hardest to get over. She does not sound like a good match for you. You will have a healthy, loving relationship eventually and you won't have to suffer. Love doesn't hurt.

You were happy and healthy before this relationship, and you'll be fine after. "Float" through the anxiety and try not to think about her anymore. I would suggest writing her a letter, putting down your thoughts and then destroy it. This often helps.

I've been down this road and I know it hurts. But the right person comes along and you'll know. Good luck!
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
60 mg. Prozac, Ativan as needed.
"Nothing makes us so lonely as our secrets." Paul Tournier

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