thank you all for your posts. They are all very valid points that i will definately take on board. I have erratic moods of late and today i feel fine and more positive. I think once the hormone treatment i was on leaves my system i'ii be much better.
I'm booking a holiday for next year and have made the first steps in getting on with my life. I know i just need to focus on the positive.
I really like this site and board as it gives me the reality check i need from time to time. I hope i can be of help to others when i get it together.