Welcome, CandyT! I can't say I've suffered from depression for 20 years, nor can I say I've been diagnosed with all the things you have. But I can say that I've been through a lot and I've hit rock bottom. There were times when I didn't think I could make it and times when I didn't want to.
In the long run, I never gave up hope. I never stopped educating myself on my diagnoses. I pushed myself forward. A lot of this takes courage. People who suffer with anxiety and/or depression are courageous people. They have to be. A lot of days are a chore to get through for some.
I would like to know what medication you have tried and what you are on now? (If you don't mind giving that information.) What happened when you were 9? Have you had all the blood tests including hormone and thyroid blood tests?
You need to keep trying. You need to make yourself get some sort of exercise. Even if it's just sitting in a chair and lifting cans of vegetables. You can march in place. Eat less and eat healthy. Stop all negative thinking. You may want to check into CBT here on this website. You can change physically and mentally. But it's only going to happen if you help yourself. Get the professional help you need and take yourself by the hand and begin taking care of yourself. You are worthy of living happily and fully.
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
60 mg. Prozac, Ativan as needed.
"Nothing makes us so lonely as our secrets." Paul Tournier