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New Member

Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 19
   Posted 7/8/2009 10:13 AM (GMT -6)   
So a little back story me and my ex broke up in feb. and we talked a little after that but after a while we just stopped talking. I never really got over here so yesterday I was looking for something and I stumbled across some old letters she wrote me. Well I thought no better time than now to call and get closure. So I called and as it was ringing my heart was seriously beating which should have been a warning but she answered and it had been over two months since we talked. Well she was telling me she was going to school working and the then she dropped the bombshell she had a new boyfriend. My heart sank, so I did some prying to find out he is 24 with a 1 year old and lives near here which was very ironic because she gave me stuff about how we were at different parts of our lives and the fact that she goes to school 8 hours away. So i really didnt know what to think other than did she not learn. This girl was my first love and pretty much my first everything. She is only 18 and im only 20 so i know i will get over it. The crappy thing is that my anxiety kicked in last night after that phone conversation. I couldnt sleep since I was getting the shakes which are quite annoying. I was doing so well lately no physical symptoms and I was coping better than ever with my mind set. I just hate that finding this out has put me back into that hole again that i just got out of. I need to find out how I can deal with stress without it going directly back to anxiety.

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 7/8/2009 12:06 PM (GMT -6)   

Dear Searching,

I feel you may have made a mistake in calling her as it had been 2 months and your relationship was over. We all make mistakes so let go of it.  

The best thing, IMHO, is to let go of the phone call as what she is now doing is her business and hearing it upset you.  You cannot change things and you certainly cannot change her.  You can only change yourself and how you feel.

Plan for moving forward with your life and identify ways you will deal with your feelings.  If you need a therapist do make an appointment and see one.

Most of all stay in the moment and accept that the past is where it should be.  I am sorry for the pain this has caused you.

Please keep on talking to us and take care of you.



Moderator: Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn
Anxiety/Panic, & Depression
*~* *~*
"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
Not a mental health professional of any kind

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 1015
   Posted 7/9/2009 1:31 PM (GMT -6)   
Aaww, I'm sorry you're going through this! Remember, you are so young. There will be many women in your life. The right one will come along and you'll know why all of this had to happen.
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
60 mg. Prozac, Ativan as needed.
"Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire."

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