Hang in there, don't be so hard on yourself. I have just come through a nightmare 24hrs and resisted my usual demon of destruction. Take it a minute at a time if you have to.
Thinking of you and hoping it gets better for you.
Paulos i really hope you are in therapy as this vicious cycle needs to stop for you. i totally commend you for 25days sober, but i think a therapist/counsellor would be a real benefit for your emotional health.
Hang in there,