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Paulos
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 201
   Posted 7/19/2009 7:52 PM (GMT -7)   
sniff. I miss my old recovery site. sniff. what a depressing sad night this is. maybe I should drink or do somethin' else. I feel like a failure, I feel like my mind is deteriorating everyday... my memory ain't right, it just ain't right... I can't remember enough, if you told me 10 people's names like introducing me to them I wouldn't remember em or would get them mixed up, it's pathetic, it sounds like I'm doomed, don't it? I mean seriously ... god darn it ... what my problem is I don't know!
"Make a joke and I will sigh, and you will laugh and I will cry. Happiness I cannot feel, and love to me is so unreal."-Loony from Rings of Power


Aries8
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 1015
   Posted 7/19/2009 7:56 PM (GMT -7)   
No, Paulos, you shouldn't have a drink. Keep your mind on positive things. Sitting and thinking about sad things or events will only make you more depressed. You can break this cycle but you really have to want to. Make sure this is not a habit. A habit of looking for bad things in your life. Maybe thinking you don't deserve to be happy. This is bull. Stay positive, stay in the present and find something fun, relaxing to do. Hang in there!
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
 
60 mg. Prozac, Ativan as needed.
 
"Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire."


percycat
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 1952
   Posted 7/20/2009 8:56 AM (GMT -7)   
Paulos,

You've contributed a lot of positive things to this site, and you've risked opening up here about how you're feeling and what you're going through. Yes, some of it is bad and makes you feel low, but it doesn't mean that you are of low value.

For what it's worth, I would get 10 names mixed up too, but if your memory has always been one of your strengths, it likely does fluster you when you feel it's slipping. Remember that we all have ups and downs as far as our energy and our abilities go. Today's a rough day, but tomorrow is a new day that doesn't have to be held down by today's old baggage.

Definitely don't take that drink. You know it won't help nearly so much as it has the power to hurt.

Hugs to you,
percycat

Percy/Percycat

  • Co-Moderator, Anxiety and Panic Forum
  • DX: Anxiety, Depression, LPR (acid reflux), Allergies
  • Meds: Paxil, Nexium, Zantac, Singulair


raze
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 64
   Posted 7/20/2009 10:32 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey Paulos,
 
Hang in there, bud.  I am also having some problems with my short term memory, but it's probably the medication you are taking.  Don't worry, you haven't completely lost your memory.  You just need to work harder at remembering things.  It's a pain, I know, but you just gotta bite the bullet.  You're not alone.  I can relate to your post.   You're okay, don't panic!  Like the others have said, tomorrow is another day.  I have quote that I want to share with me, it helps me deal sometimes. 
 
"Today is a gift.  Yesterday is history.  Tomorrow is a mystery.  And today?  Today is a gift.  That's why we call it the present."   
 
You are strong, believe it! 
"Getting an idea should be like sitting down on a pin; it should make you jump up and do something."  -E. L. Simpson
 
General Anxiety Disorder (GAD) with Agoraphobia
Zoloft (100 mgs) daily
Trazadone (50 mgs) nightly
Xanax (1.25 mgs) as needed at night
 
Raze
        the
Dark
                                        Wolf                              


boo32
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 222
   Posted 7/20/2009 11:25 AM (GMT -7)   

hey there,

Hang in there, don't be so hard on yourself. I have just come through a nightmare 24hrs and resisted my usual demon of destruction. Take it a minute at a time if you have to.

Thinking of you and hoping it gets better for you.

boo


BikeBoo, biking with my boo since 1999
Of all the things i've lost, i miss my mind the most! But it has its advantages!
Fibro, spinal arthritis and all that goes with it.
GAD


kam#7
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 125
   Posted 7/20/2009 1:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Paulos -

I haven't been on here in a while, but have you gone to a 12 step meeting? The meetings have really helped me during tough times. Plus, when you go, you will get a lot of phone numbers of people that you can call when you feel like drinking.

Hang in there - ONE DAY AT A TIME

KAM
35 year old female (newly married) - Diagnosed w/Crohn's 2002 - Surgery 2004

Currently taking: Pentasa, Entocort, Imuran, Zoloft, Seroquel & Ativan as needed


Paulos
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 201
   Posted 7/20/2009 1:29 PM (GMT -7)   
I ain't drinking, 25 days and all... thanks for your support, right now I feel very very sad about life and myself... people in my life kind of stink, and my mother seems like her spirit for taking care of me is declining :( I'm just a big fat lazy almost 24 year old living at home, I can't deal with the real world. this is where I go into my corner and panic now...
"Make a joke and I will sigh, and you will laugh and I will cry. Happiness I cannot feel, and love to me is so unreal."-Loony from Rings of Power


Aries8
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 1015
   Posted 7/20/2009 10:16 PM (GMT -7)   
Paulos, you are worthy of being happy! Are you in therapy? I'm sorry, I can't remember. Stay positive and let those negative thoughts go when they come up. Life will get better. Hang in there!
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
 
60 mg. Prozac, Ativan as needed.
 
"Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire."


Mazfire
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1683
   Posted 7/20/2009 10:39 PM (GMT -7)   

Paulos i really hope you are in therapy as this vicious cycle needs to stop for you. i totally commend you for 25days sober, but i think a therapist/counsellor would be a real benefit for your emotional health.

Hang in there,

Maz XX


                        Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic- Depression
 
 
 
'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)
 
Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, CFS, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Sinusitis, TMJ disorder, Endometriosis, PCOS, Chronic E.N.T and Upper respiratory tract infections, Reactive Arthritis, IBS, Anemia, Chemical/Noise/Light sensitivity, Trichotilomania, Seasonal Mood  Disorder, OCD, Benign Vertigo,  Impaired immune system. Tachycardia, GERD,
Low clotting factor= bruising. Tendonitis, Bursitis.
Meds: Zoloft 150mg. Xanax 4mg. Mobic. Panadeine Forte. Digesic. Nexium.  Codeine Phosphate. Phenergan. Multiple surgeries- I bear the scars of my poor physical health.
Age:29. AP first DX @ 10. Fibro etc DX @14. Proud Aussie.
 
 


Aries8
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 1015
   Posted 7/20/2009 10:45 PM (GMT -7)   
Geez, I forgot to congratulate you on your 25 days of sobriety!!! Keep up the excellent work and find a good therapist!
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
 
60 mg. Prozac, Ativan as needed.
 
"Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire."


Paulos
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 201
   Posted 7/23/2009 9:43 PM (GMT -7)   
Therapists scare the crap out of me...
"Make a joke and I will sigh, and you will laugh and I will cry. Happiness I cannot feel, and love to me is so unreal."-Loony from Rings of Power

Medications on: Zoloft-50mg daily-For Depression
Darvocet-3 Pills a day-Pain
Xanax-3mg a day-For Anxiety


Mazfire
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1683
   Posted 7/24/2009 3:11 AM (GMT -7)   
Why?

                        Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic- Depression
 
 
 
'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)
 
Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, CFS, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Sinusitis, TMJ disorder, Endometriosis, PCOS, Chronic E.N.T and Upper respiratory tract infections, Reactive Arthritis, IBS, Anemia, Chemical/Noise/Light sensitivity, Trichotilomania, Seasonal Mood  Disorder, OCD, Benign Vertigo,  Impaired immune system. Tachycardia, GERD,
Low clotting factor= bruising. Tendonitis, Bursitis.
Meds: Zoloft 150mg. Xanax 4mg. Mobic. Panadeine Forte. Digesic. Nexium.  Codeine Phosphate. Phenergan. Multiple surgeries- I bear the scars of my poor physical health.
Age:29. AP first DX @ 10. Fibro etc DX @14. Proud Aussie.
 
 

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