I really need help before I fall apart

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New Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 7/22/2009 11:59 AM (GMT -6)   
Last week I went out with friends, drank too much and wound up at a small party playing pool and drinking more. 
I remember walking out the door toward my car with a guy, but don't remember how I got in my car.  I remember (I think) climbing from the front seat to the back and making out, a little grinding, etc.  I remember sitting on the seat next to him and he asked me to um, perform oral on him and I started to I freaked out and said I couldn't do that.
My concerns are that I have no recollection of either taking off or putting on my jeans (which leads me to believe they never came off) because if I had, the enormous amount of time and trouble to do so in a car would certainly jog some memory I would hope.  I remember getting out of the car and found my jeans unbuttoned, but not down.  I am now fearing that the blank spots in my memory that something more may have happened.  This all was in a span of about 45 minutes or so (I know because of the time I sent two texts - before and after) and then I remember the guy telling me over and over that sex never occurred, but that he did want me to do oral.  I told him no.  His pants were down when I got out of the car, which I think was in anticipation of him thinking he would be getting oral, but I don't know.  My mom says that if I remember all of this, then I would certainly remember undressing, having sex or anything else. 
In this state of panic, I am doubting myself, creating scenarios and even made a friend of mine inspect my undergarments (good friend, I know) and she assures me that sex did not occur. 
I have even thought of being hypnotized to see if I can recall anything further, but have doubts if it would help or do more damage.
Can anyone please, please help me?

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1683
   Posted 7/22/2009 1:14 PM (GMT -6)   

You need to see a doctor, if only to reasure yourself. I agree with your mum that if you remember what DID happen in such vivid detail, then you would most likely remember having sex- especially in tight jeans in a car (no easy feat.)

Are you concerned that this guy drugged you? Is it too late to be tested for sedatives etc? If you DID have sex, it was against your will, however I think you may be so distressed about the possibility that you are stirring yourself up with "what ifs?"

I think seeing a doc would be a great step- and never seeing this guy again, as he tried to pressure you into a sexual act against your will. Please dont let it spin out of control, a doctor may well set your mind at ease.

All the best and welcome to HW- I hope you stick around and make yourself comfortable!

Maz XX

                        Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic- Depression
'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)
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Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 222
   Posted 7/22/2009 2:20 PM (GMT -6)   
hi, sorry to hear what happened you.
You poor thing, your mind is running riot on you.
These things have happened me and i know it's not nice, but you have to just try and forget it and chalk it up to a bad experience. Don't crucify yourself with regret and what if.
You should go to the doctor and get checked out if you are that worried about it. For what it's worth it sounds like you didn't go too far, you actually have good memory even though it's just blank spots that are missing. I used to loose entire nights.
If you had blacked out badly you may not have remembered going home and probably would have blacked out till morning.
I hope you can put your mind at ease, this guy was obviously taking advantage of your drunkeness and it's not your fault.
All you can do is try to put it out of your mind, if you're severely worried you did take it too far, certainly see a doctor and get checked out for anything.
After that forgive yourself, it does happen but all you can do is learn from it and never drink too much again. If you suspect you were drugged, all you can do is take precautions in future, never accept a drink you didn't pour yourself/never leave your drink unattended.
Guys like that creep are watching out for young vunerable girls like you.
take care and i wish you all the best, please keep posting till you feel better about it.
BikeBoo, biking with my boo since 1999
Of all the things i've lost, i miss my mind the most! But it has its advantages!
Fibro, spinal arthritis and all that goes with it.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 64
   Posted 7/22/2009 2:28 PM (GMT -6)   
You probably just passed out.
"Getting an idea should be like sitting down on a pin; it should make you jump up and do something."  -E. L. Simpson
General Anxiety Disorder (GAD) with Agoraphobia
Zoloft (100 mgs) daily
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Xanax (1.25 mgs) as needed at night

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 7/22/2009 3:39 PM (GMT -6)   

Hello and welcome to HealingWell.  I am so sorry you are having blanks in your memory.

If you are worrying about whether or not you were drugged the answer is probably not. 

When combined with alcohol Rohypnol ( the date rape drug) can impair judgment and motor skills and cause memory loss or blackouts (lasting 8 to 24 hours after ingestion).  With this medicine you do not just lose a short frame of time. 

Sedation can occur as soon as 20 minutes after ingestion. The drug's effects will peak within 2 hours and may persist for up to 8 hours or more, depending on the dosage.

I agree with the members who suggest you see your physician for an examination to make sure you are ok.

I am glad you have a good relationship with your Mother and that you were able to talk with her about your anxiety too.

Gentle Hugs to you,




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Not a mental health professional of any kind

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 1015
   Posted 7/23/2009 1:15 PM (GMT -6)   
I have researched the date rape drug and its affects very little. It sounded to me like you may have been drugged with something. Always keep your drink in your hand to keep it safe. If drinking is a problem for you, seek help. Hope you figure all of this out!
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
60 mg. Prozac, Ativan as needed.
"Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire."

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