anxiety and relationship

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angelwings
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 46
   Posted 8/4/2009 7:37 PM (GMT -7)   
So I've had anxiety for about 9 yrs and its off and on.  I broke up with my ex of almost 6yrs...almost a year ago.  I've been dating off and on for months and have been having terrible luck meeting guys.  I finally met a guy and dated for a month and I had a bad day of anxiety.....and after that things went downhill.  We broke up and now I keep focusing on what I did wrong and I'm obsessing over it and blaming myself.  How do you handle anxiety when you start dating?   Should you tell a guy right away about your anxiety.  I just worry if I start to panic.....and a guy sees it he's gonna think I'm crazy.  And after I break up with a guy I obsess over what went wrong.  Plus I'm not working now and thats giving me too much time to think.  I'm too hard on myself and I worry too much.  Help!!!

jurassic
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 8/5/2009 4:25 AM (GMT -7)   
hey im a guy and probly cant help but i have p-disorder and have had 4 years i always inform people about it if i feel uneasy it puts me at rest and i neva have people think im odd or any thing.
good luck

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 8/5/2009 6:09 AM (GMT -7)   
Good Morning.  I am sorry you are having a tough time.  I do not feel you are obligated to tell anyone your health history when you first meet them.  I would see how it goes and how well you are bonding with someone before I shared my health history re  anxiety.
 
You will know when it is the right time to share your information.  Also, I do not think anyone has to tell every little thing about their anxiety.  If a person likes you for yourself they will understand you and stick by you for who you are not because you don't have any problems.  :-) .
 
Remember guilt is a wasted emotion so don't beat yourself up over this last guy.  Let go and take care of you first. 
 
Gentle Hugs
Kitt
 

Kitt,
Moderator: Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn
Anxiety/Panic, & Depression
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http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
Not a mental health professional of any kind


brittainn
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 77
   Posted 8/8/2009 10:52 AM (GMT -7)   
I personally wouldn't tell someone right off the bat. I just feel like that's something personal, and saying anything too personal right away can put someone off. Instead, I would bring it up in a conversation after you get to know them a little better. For example, the way I brought it up with my last boyfriend was to say something like, "Do you ever feel really anxious? Like you're panicking?" Most people will say yes, and then you can explain your anxiety to them. That opens the door more than just being like, "OH FYI I have generalized anxiety disorder".
That's what I would do
Hope it helps :)

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 8/9/2009 10:03 AM (GMT -7)   
Good Morning.  Hoping you are reading your messages and that your are doing OK.
We are here for you so keep on talking to us if you feel up to it.
 
Kitt
 
 

Kitt,
Moderator: Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn
Anxiety/Panic, & Depression
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
Not a mental health professional of any kind


BlessedByTheBest
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 33
   Posted 8/9/2009 9:55 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello Angelwings,
 
I have had anxiety issues for about 12 years and it seems like it's more frequent now a days with life strains, relationships and such. I would also say that only you know when it's time to share your anxiety history with someone as it is very personal. Ironically, I just told a guy friend of mine about it tonight. I had a little anxiety about it at first because I did not want him to think that I was crazy. At first I told him he wouldn't understand but then I told him all about it. I have known him for about 3 years and we might plan to take things to another level. I finally told him because he was beginning to think that my moods and anxiety hang-up were because of him and I wanted to give him comfort in knowing that it was not. He said it made him feel better and that he understood more. So again, never feel obligated to share that part of you until you are good and ready.
 
Big hugs and happy days for all of us!
 
ChiGirl24
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