Anxiety/Grief from my Sister's death

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P-Fit
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 419
   Posted 8/18/2009 2:09 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey guys, I've been gone for awhile but I need to get back to posting. I need the encouragement. I got a call from the funeral home director last week and the coroner could find NO offcial cause of death for my sister!!! I am just so upset. Then the medical examiner told her daughter that sometime people with  schizophrenia just die suddenly b/c the electrodes in the brain stop firing!! I've NEVER heard that. Now I feel guilty because I authorized the shock treatments to get her out of the catatonic state she was in. Maybe that had something to do with her death. I've been thinking about it alot and now my anxiety symptoms are back (numbness, tingling on right side, burning sensations all over).
Dee-39yrs old wife and mom of 3 boys
UC since 2004/PTSD/Panic Attacks/Depression/myofacial pain syndrome 2009-750mg colozal/1,000mg canasa/.5mg clonazepam, 4mg Lexapro-/Fioricet/Prilosec OTC-2x daily, Entorcort 9mg, Triple Strength Fish Oils/Colonoscopies-4
 


Aries8
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 1015
   Posted 8/18/2009 2:16 PM (GMT -7)   
Dee Sweetie, this wasn't your fault!! There's nothing u could have done short of calling 911. Bring this up with your therapist if you have one. If not, get one. Your sister's death is going to cause stress. U need to talk it over with a professional. I've never heard of what the doctor told you, either. That little bit of information should scare the heck out of those with schizophrenia. Probably why they don't mention it. Please try not to beat yourself up. You did what you thought was right at the time. I'll pray for all of you!
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
 
60 mg. Prozac, Ativan as needed.
 
"Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire."


P-Fit
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 419
   Posted 8/18/2009 2:33 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks. This whole thing is just exhusting. I'm also trying to help one of my dear friends who lost her mom, dad and husband in the last 9 months. I really feel like I'm having a crisis of faith right now. It's hard to explain.

Dee-39yrs old wife and mom of 3 boys
UC since 2004/PTSD/Panic Attacks/Depression/myofacial pain syndrome 2009-750mg colozal/1,000mg canasa/.5mg clonazepam, 4mg Lexapro-/Fioricet/Prilosec OTC-2x daily, Entorcort 9mg, Triple Strength Fish Oils/Colonoscopies-4
 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 8/18/2009 2:36 PM (GMT -7)   

P-Fit,

I am so sorry you are in a bad place right now but please do not blame yourself for your sisters death.  Heart disease is the leading cause of death in the United States, and its about twice as deadly for people with schizophrenia.

Your sister could have had a major arrhythmia such as ventricular fibrillation. Inconclusive cause of death means they don't know for sure one way or the other.

ECT is one of the safest procedures done under a general anesthetic. The rate of death from ECT is less than one-tenth of one percent.

Please know that you did nothing wrong.  I know it hurts to be told the autopsy results were inconclusive but try to remember your sister in a better time. 

You were a good sister and you did your very best so now grieve in whatever way that works for you but remember you have your own angel  watching over you.

Blessings,
Kitt

 


 

Kitt,
Moderator: Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn
Anxiety/Panic, & Depression
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Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 8/19/2009 6:24 AM (GMT -7)   
P-Fit I would like to share a few thoughts with you. I recently lost my Mom this past January. She was on life support with no chances of being weaned off the respirator. After conferences with her doctor we made the decision to remove her from life support and allow her to peacefully pass away. Months after she died I went thru many feelings like you are right now. I was in that room with my siblings and the doctors when they told us of my Mom's severe condition, I heard all they said "that there was no hope of my Mom ever breathing on her own". My mom had made it abundantly clear to all of us prior to this that she never wanted to be maintained by machines. So we had to respect her wishes.

But.........months later this huge wave of guilt hit me. I wondered if by telling the docs to remove her from life support I had rushed my Mom's death. I kept thinking that the morphine I authorized them to give her to keep her comfortable had really just caused her to OD and die. Had I done this to my beautiful Mom?????

Of course, I hadn't done this to my Mom. And it took a very loving conversation with a older sister to help me understand I didn't do anything to cause this. And you did not do anything to cause your sister's death. You are just going thru another part of the grieving process. And it is just one of the phases we go thru when we lose someone so close to us, that leave us too soon.

I hope you have a therapist or close family member or friend that you can talk to. Talking to others really helps. And I hope I have helped a little too.

Hugs
Gail*Nanners*
Gail*Nanners* Co-Moderator for Crohns Disease and Anxiety/Panic Forum
Crohn's Disease for over 33 years. Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, Calcium  w/Vit D, and Xanax as needed. Resections in 2002 and 2005. Also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis, and Anxiety. Currently my Crohns is in remission, but my joints are going crazy!
It's scary when you start making the same noises As your coffee maker.
*Every tomorrow has two handles.  We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith"*

P-Fit
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 419
   Posted 8/19/2009 9:10 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you so much for sharing that. I was hoping that we would have an answer for what happened. I guess its the control freak in me. They said her heart was fine, there were no blood clots, etc. They just don't know. I guess it really doesn't matter anyway....she's gone either way. I miss her and I seem to have a block about the whole grief thing. My therapist is helping deal with some abuse from childhood and I just feel like I can't deal with all of this at the same time. Things are SO upside down right now. I know it will get better but its HARD now.

Dee-39yrs old wife and mom of 3 boys
UC since 2004/PTSD/Panic Attacks/Depression/myofacial pain syndrome 2009-750mg colozal/1,000mg canasa/.625mg clonazepam, 5mg Lexapro-/Fioricet/Prilosec OTC-2x daily, Triple Strength Fish Oils/Colonoscopies-4 with 1 scheduled for Sept
 

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