tragedy struck and i dont think i can survive

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nanas4
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 51
   Posted 8/28/2009 10:30 PM (GMT -7)   
ive been 3 months in panic and anxiety off work ,my paxil after 9 years stopped working so now its like this is all new to me again .ive been trying to deal just when i was getting used to feeling this way my daughter s baby died inside her she was 15 wks preg. they sent her home for 2 days then was going to do d and c but she called me to her place as she was hurting bad when i got there she started to hemmorage and passed the baby in toliet i took it out put in a speciman cup she started to hemmorage then passed out i was 911 in ambulance with her ad she went into shock they almost lost her i was at hosp until 4am without meds no sleep and in panic mode yet was able to function because i was so focused on helping her. she had a hobbile time blood transfusion and screaming in pain as they gave her med to make her cont. to contract and expell on her own. then her only child was at my house with my husband when i got home and she had high fever and is now in hosp and may need kidney surgery. 4 years old. now im in the worst shape of my life panic attacks coming every 2 mins like contractions lasting 20 mins at least with sever anxiety at all times. diarrhea vomitting not sleeping crying begging for help .my md called said she could add buspar to my paxil but im wondering if paxil just stopped working and when she increased my dose it made me worse as it had been 6 weeks without relief since paxil was increased and that was before my tragady,s happened. anyone taking buspar? can it help and can paxil after all the time i was taking it just quit working or start with the adverse s of panic anxiety after no problems taking it for that long .please i need alot of opinions i may not survive .i cant eat sleep or anything im begging and desperate.

spinnaker
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 36
   Posted 8/28/2009 11:48 PM (GMT -7)   
So very sorry to hear all you have been through! You are dealing with so much right now your out of control anxiety isn't unexpected. Give yourself some time, when tragedies hit successively it can play havoc with anyone's emotions, thinking, etc (and for us, so practiced at Panic Mode, it is what our body does automatically). Be vigilant and communicative with your doctor about your meds and situation. Do you have a therapist to talk to? I'd recommend it at such a traumatic time, you have some loved ones who need you right now.
Your husband? a sister? a good friend? to turn to. Use them if you are comfortable with them. I can't think of a better time to reach out to those you trust and who know how to comfort you.
Peace to your family!
Spinnaker

Allestaria
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 341
   Posted 8/29/2009 12:47 AM (GMT -7)   
First off,

I want to send my condolences for your loss. This will be hard to get through but you can do it. And a speedy recovery for your granddaughter.

Second.

The human body needs to feel emotions. And yours is going through a LOT right now. Your anxiety is naturally going to be at its wits end. And considering the situations its expected. I personally think maybe just letting your body feel the pain isn't so bad. Allow yourself to grieve and feel miserable. You will heal faster this way. You have every right to feel the way you do. Its normal and natural.

Third.
Buspar works. And yes it can be used with Paxil. My mom took this cocktail for several years. Paxil. Yes it can just stop working. Same with any other anti depressant. Your body does become use to it. Upping the dose can bring on side effects which include added anxiety. Some times the body just has to say enough is enough its not gonna work anymore. Buspar can and does work on its own. I took it for some time and it worked great. The only side effect I had was a really bad upset tummy. Never threw up. Just crampy which I could handle. And it didn't kick in for a few hours after taking it. And only lasted about a week.

Last but not least. See if you can get a side helper. Like Xanex or one of the others. This might help you out some on those much needed moments. And remember you are stronger then you think. Your family needs you to be strong and be there for them. Your daughter really needs her mom right now. Hold it together the best you can. But also allow yourself time to grieve. Keep in mind. That being upset and crying is not a bad thing. Take it one moment at a time. One breath at a time. Be there for your daughter and granddaughter. But also be there for yourself. You are important too.

Big hugs to you and your family.
Deep breaths slow and steady.

Take Care
Cary-Ann

Mazfire
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1683
   Posted 8/29/2009 4:28 AM (GMT -7)   

You are in my thoughts and prayers at this most difficult time. Could you see your doc about getting some 'emergency' anti anxiety meds like Allestaria suggested? They may help tide you over through the roughest parts.

Again, I am so sorry and am at a loss as to what to say in the face of such overwhelming sadness. please know i care-

Maz XX


 Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic- Depression
 
" Why does society view illness as weakness?" (Montell Jordan)
 'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)
-DX:Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, CFS, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Sinusitis, TMJ, Endometriosis,PCOS, Reactive Arthritis, Anemia, Chemical/Noise/Light sensitivity, Trichotilomania, OCD, SMD. GERD, IBS.
-Meds: Zoloft 150mg. Xanax 4mg. Prescription pain meds/anti inflammatories.
-Multiple surgeries- I bear the scars of my poor physical health.
-Age:29. AP first DX @ 10. Fibro etc DX @14.
 
 


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 8/29/2009 7:46 AM (GMT -7)   
I am so sorry about the loss of you grandbaby to be and the horror you have been through at nearly losing your daughter.  Now your grandchild is in the hospital.  I think you have a right to be in panic mode but I did notice you made it through because you had too.  That is the inborn Motherly instinct kicking in when our children are in trouble no matter what age they are.
 
Buspar works for anxiety if you take it daily.  My dose is 30 mg twice daily.  I also have Valium for the really tough days.  Please do feel comfortable talking to your physician about your meds.  Yes Antidepressants can just poop out.
 
You are in my prayers Nana and please know I support you.  I have been in your place and I know how awful it feels.
 
My deepest sympathy to you and your family.  Gentle Hugs to your daughter. 
 
Keep talking to us as we are here to support you.
 
I wish you peace,
Kitt
 
 
 

Kitt,
Moderator: Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn
Anxiety/Panic, & Depression
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
Not a mental health professional of any kind


Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 8/29/2009 8:08 AM (GMT -7)   
Nana I just wanted to offer up my condolences on the loss of the baby, and send prayers your way and to your daughter and granddaugher. Please know that we care.

Hugs
Gail*Nanners*
Gail*Nanners* Co-Moderator for Crohns Disease and Anxiety/Panic Forum
Crohn's Disease for over 33 years. Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, Calcium  w/Vit D, and Xanax as needed. Resections in 2002 and 2005. Also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis, and Anxiety. Currently my Crohns is in remission, but my joints are going crazy!
It's scary when you start making the same noises As your coffee maker.
*Every tomorrow has two handles.  We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith"*

nanas4
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 51
   Posted 8/29/2009 12:43 PM (GMT -7)   
thank you all for caring .my daughter is better and my granddaughter is still under going testing but stable. however i was bad before this all happened as i said and now i have to say i can not function.im fearful this has push me over the edge to no return has anyone heard of this happening where no meds even help and if so when you get this bad what is worst thing that can happen? i cant believe you wont die as ive lost so much weight and now to weak to even deal with these attacks and constant suffering of full blown anxiety .im shaking cant think vomitting diarreha not sleeping crying screaming nothing helps i have ativan and xanax but both just may be groggy and weaker but are not taking the suffering away of attacks. i cant imagine the hosp can help as they just give a quick fix of ativan send you home or if admitted you are stuck in a diff enviroment without family and makes things worse i believe as these nurses become unsympathetic as they have no time to sit with you and they are busy they are there for a pay check trust me i was in hosp once before. my concern again is the paxil after 9 years stopped working but even more fearful is it started working oppisite and was the reason i started in the panic again and instead md increased it. i have never been like this .just 9 yrs ago for 3 weeks and paxil imed. in that time returned me to normal. fearful of all these meds they want me to TRY. all experimental how do we know if it is working or causing worse panic as they have the same side effects as our condition. it just amazes me if you are suffering from cancer or other bad illness they can at least keep you comfortable but md acts like you just need to deal with it but when you cant what happens???????? because im telling you and them i cannot.
 
no one can understand family or husband they have never felt this so they just say your fine relax. im beyond all that.
 
Edit:  Discussions of suicide or self-harm that are deemed negative and therefore potentially injurious to others are also not permitted.
 
I removed one sentence from your post.
 
Thank you for your understanding.
Kitt

Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 9/3/2009 6:59:47 AM (GMT-6)


spinnaker
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 36
   Posted 8/29/2009 2:09 PM (GMT -7)   
I am so sorry for your pain. I have been where you are and felt no one could help me (and no one did), I couldn't function anymore I couldn't be alone for 5 minutes my husband had to take an emergency vacation I woudn't let him go to work , couldn't function... A doctor gave me Zoloft and it helped for a few hours as my body wasn't used to it and so my body's initial reaction was complete numbness which after weeks of high anxiety was very welcome, but then it kept me so faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar down in a "downer" pit I really couldn't cope and was left a horrendous mess.

But it all passed. Can't say how or why it just did. It eventually just went away. I had no therapist at the time (would not make the 45 minute trip) and it just passed. I did force myself to walk a little every day and force myself to look at my natural surroundings- a bird in the grass, a squirrel racing around, etc. It was not easy in the least as I said I forced myself to take my mind off of things for even just a minute. I will pray for you. It is H***. No doubt. That is why I think we all need medals!
Peace peace wonderful peace to your soul!
Spinnaker

nanas4
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 51
   Posted 8/29/2009 6:01 PM (GMT -7)   
allestaria  if you see this please respond i have a few questions about the reply you sent me. how much buspar do you take and does it help with panic also? you said you had stomach upset that lasted only a few weeks or was it the buspar that only lasted a few weeks? i read somewhere that 6mos was tops recommended for this med as it may not cont. to work is that true for you or your mom? i just started the med today 10mg twice a day and was told to go back to my 30mg dose of paxil as they had increased it to 40mg daily 6 weeks ago without relief. im afraid the paxil is adversely working now instead of stopped working.md says that cant happen but i am not trusting her anymore.

rachel80
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 8/30/2009 11:37 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi, there.

Sounds similiar to my anxiety. I have been taking effexor-xr (anti anxiety and anti depressant), fantastic for calming, sedation at night, and conquers all the stomach upsets too. For the first week or so, you may find you sleep alot and this can be quite beneficial if you have been having insomnia. The anxiety attacks calm down within a couple of weeks -if not stop altogether.
Anxiety is tiring and looking after yourself is of utmost importance through this stressful time. Push through the symptoms and take each day as it comes.

I hope this helps you. Sorry to hear youre having a terrible time with everything, I wish good health to your family members.

Take the best of care.
-Rachel.
Never take any moment in life for granted, you never know how much longer you have to experience anything.


Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 8/31/2009 8:33 AM (GMT -7)   
I don't have any more great advice like others have given you on here, but I wanted to offer my condolences and prayers to you and your family at this time. I wish you all the best of luck working through all of this.
Much Love, Hugs, Peace & Comfort. . . Your Bro Sam :)

Anxiety-Panic Forum Co-Moderator

"I get by with a little help from my friends." ~John Lennon~


Jenniflower
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2009
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 9/2/2009 9:30 PM (GMT -7)   
You will be in my prayers : )

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/3/2009 6:03 AM (GMT -7)   

Nanas,

Please do seek professional advice and if you do not have a trust relationship with your PCP please do find a new Physician.  I truly feel you need someone to talk to and a therapist is a great way to go as this person is there just for you.

I am glad to hear your daughter and granddaughter are doing better.  Now it is time for you to take care of you.  Only you can do that so do seek help.

I wish you peace,

Kitt

 

 


 

Kitt,
Moderator: Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn
Anxiety/Panic, & Depression
*~*
http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
Not a mental health professional of any kind

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