All my life, I knew something was different about me. People say I'm just not thinking straight, and my thoughts are unreasonable. I know they are...that's why I need help.
I have OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). It's not the same thing as what most people thing. I don't really have any repetitive things I HAVE to do otherwise I get agitated, but there are some things I DO have to do, otherwise I feel like I'll die. I CAN'T step on the cracks...I have to do things JUST right...I need a routine that I can STICK to...etc.
I'm obsessed with my fiancee's looks and mine as well, and I'm REALLY obsessed about planning our wedding (so much so that I don't want to wait a year till I can actually start setting things in stone...we're having a two year engagement, and he wants me to wait at least a year before I start making REAL commitments in this planning). I've been obsessing over my schoolwork, my classes, my finances, HIS finances, etc. It's horrible...it has me SO stressed out, and that stress makes me only MORE stressed, since I obsess over my stress!
I also have a problem with thoughts. I get horrible thoughts that just enter my head, though it's not ANYTHING I would EVER want to do to ANYONE! Sometimes, it's a fear that enters my head of someone getting hurt or killed. I NEVER would think like that!!! I KNOW it's the obsessive compulsive, because I wish these thoughts would never come! EVER! I read on a website (a few actually) that those thoughts ARE part of the OCD.
My brother has OCD AND turrets, and the doctor has him on a medication that controls serotonin intake, so though the serotonin is still being made at the same rate as normal, it's being absorbed more slowly, so it mellows his mood swings out.
Is there anything that might be similar to this, only naturally? Any sort of even vitamin or supplement? Does ANYONE know? Please? My OCD has been affecting my schoolwork and my social life. It's hard to live with it...