I am sorry you are having so much emotional pain re Cait and all that has happened and I will try to help in some small way.
First of all, please do not be angry at yourself, you did not cause your illness nor your seizures. You have been living with an illness for many years and throughout that time you have always been a wonderful and loving Mother. Cait knows this but she is also a teen which is a tough time for kids growing up.
They seem to have a love/hate relationship with their parents no matter if all is well at home or there are problems going on.
As far as being sick, teens usually want to know what is happening with their parent. In your case Cait needs to know as she feels adrift if she is kept in the dark and protected. She will feel more secure with the truth.........just my 2 cents worth. We all want to protect our children no matter what age and that instinct extends to wanting to protect them from bad news. When the prognosis is not good, or complications arise, we want to shelter our offspring. But honesty during the difficult times is important to maintain their trust.
IMHO it is important for Cait to continue to be teenager, even though she is close to adulthood. Try not to switch roles. Even if she is willing to pick up household responsibilities, find others to help as well so that your Cait doesn't feel burdened with more than she can handle.
Do you have access to homehealth aid, someone that can come in and clean or just help out ? The last place she would want to see you is in a retirement home as then she would lose her "home" and where would she live? You two belong together through the good times and the not so good.
When you find yourself feeling guilty for delegating an appropriate amount of responsibility to Cait, take heart, knowing that in this day and age we tend to sway in the direction of denying our children opportunities to grow and mature.
Remember Lyn, laughter is sometimes the best medicine -- both for you and for Cait. If you can show her that you are comfortable with the changes that have taken place, she will feel more at ease as well.
I am wondering if either of you are seeing a counselor?
Making memories with your Cait will help her feel your love for the rest of her life. Cherish the special moments with your Cait. Start a new tradition. Take pictures. Keep a journal. Doucument the good times and she will always have the journal to look back on when she is an adult and someday on her own.
And of course keep on telling her you love her.
Moderator: Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn
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"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
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