Welcome to HW and our Anxiety-Panic Forum :) I am sorry to hear about
your brother and I could understand where that would freak you out. Many us us that suffer from A/P have went through thoughts like these from one time to another, and you have to keep striving to move forward. I think at this time it would be in your best interest to go talk with your doctor about
the issues you are dealing with and have him/her lead you into the right direction such as some therapy or even to adjust your meds. In the meantime you should stick with us to get the good peer support that you need right now, and please check out our Anxiety-Panic Resources thread at the top of our Forum Page. In that thread there are links to free online CBT (therapy) & Relaxation/Breathing Exercises :)
I wish you the best of luck and please keep us posted!
Anxiety-Panic Disorders Forum Co-Moderator
"Life be not so short but that there is always time for courtesy."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson~
. . .Not a professional. . .
Please consult your doctor before making changes to meds or lifestyle.