Feeling like an invilid more than ever...

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Paulos
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 201
   Posted 10/16/2009 10:09 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello all, I know it's been a while... my stupidity has caught up with me today...

I take Vicodin for pain but as figured I got addicted to it as it can make you feel high, been on it for like a year... *how pathetic ...* just wish I had never started it in the first place. I feel like such a loser :( and I'll never be my old self again... I've been off booze for 29 days *which I will continue to stay off of* and going off the Vicodin now but ... I just feel no matter what I do I'm too brain damaged and dumb to ever make a comeback... I wonder if I'm doomed.
"Make a joke and I will sigh, and you will laugh and I will cry. Happiness I cannot feel, and love to me is so unreal."-Loony from Rings of Power

Medications on: Zoloft-50mg daily-For Depression
Darvocet-3 Pills a day-Pain
Xanax-3mg a day-For Anxiety


Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 10/16/2009 11:13 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey Paulos,

I first off want to say that I'm sorry that you keep putting yourself into these kind of situations. They are so self destructive, which has proven itself by the way you down yourself whenever you post on the A/P Forum. . . You are traveling a rocky road right now and it is ultimately up to you to make the right decisions about your future in sobriety. I do want to congratulate you on the 29 days sober from alcohol. . . You should be very proud of that and use it as your anchor to keep getting rid of all the bad addictions in your life.

I would like to give you a friendly suggestion. You seem to me like you need the extra help to be free again. I think it would be a great idea for you not only to enroll in a local AA Chapter and also a NA Chapter (Alcoholics & Narcotics Anonymous). You will be able to get the peer support from others that are going through the same things, with no judgement, because they have all been where you are at now. Please do see your doc as well and let him/her know what is going on so they can further assist you with you meds. There are many non-habit forming medications out there now, along with alternative therapies that would be more conducive to your recovery.

Take care and many blessings for your future!
***Sam***
Anxiety-Panic Disorders Forum Co-Moderator

"Life be not so short but that there is always time for courtesy."
~
Ralph Waldo Emerson~
 
. . .Not a professional. . .
Please consult your doctor before making changes to meds or lifestyle.


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 10/16/2009 2:19 PM (GMT -7)   

Good Afternoon Paulos,

I know you feel like you just do not have what it takes to kick your addictions to the curb and I am sorry you feel so down. Good for you, 29 days off alcohol.

Sam has advised you well and I agree with him.  Over the past couple of years you have had many plans to overcome your drug and alcohol problems. 

This is your battle, Paulos.  We are here to support you but only you can truly get well.

With prayers and compassion,

Kitt


 

~~ Kitt ~~
Moderator: Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn  &
Anxiety/Panic
*~* http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
"I am not a mental health professional, nor do I play one on TV, I just kind of talk like one!"



Mazfire
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1683
   Posted 10/16/2009 5:03 PM (GMT -7)   

Paulos you have been given great advice.

I was wondering if you would ever consider rehab as an in-patient? If you spent serious time in there it may well give you the boost you need to get back on track and give you the tools to know how to stay on track in the future. Also in a proper rehab facility you would go to one on one counselling and that could help you find the cause or trigger for your addictions, and group therapy can be so helpful, its great spending time with people who understand your journey because theirs is so similar. Just a thought.

All the best, hang in there mate,

Maz XX



 Co-Moderator Anxiety & Panic- Depression
 
" Why does society view illness as weakness?" (Montell Jordan)
 'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)
-DX:Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, CFS, Seasonal Depression, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Sinusitis, TMJ, Endometriosis,PCOS, Reactive Arthritis, Anemia, Chemical/Noise/Light sensitivity, Trichotilomania,
OCD, GERD, IBS.
-Meds: Zoloft 150mg. Xanax 4mg. Prescription pain meds/anti inflammatories.
-Multiple surgeries- I bear the scars of my poor physical health.
-Age:29. AP first DX @ 10. Fibro etc DX @14.
 
 

Post Edited (Mazfire) : 10/16/2009 6:06:15 PM (GMT-6)


Paulos
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 201
   Posted 10/17/2009 6:52 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you all for your support, but there's no way in heck I'm going in any center, sure however I may go to *maybe* NA meetings/etc but I did very well with them online, as I was once at host at soberrecovery.com but then I left when I was passed for a promotion and insulted in March, which is when I begun drinking again. I was doing well until I lost that "peer support" that 'Sam' spoke of... all I'm saying is I'm not pushing blame or anything but I don't want to ... bother anyone anymore... man, 24 years old and when I succeed I'm still too depressed in the first place, my autism really hinders me.
"Make a joke and I will sigh, and you will laugh and I will cry. Happiness I cannot feel, and love to me is so unreal."-Loony from Rings of Power

Medications on: Zoloft-50mg daily-For Depression
Darvocet-3 Pills a day-Pain
Xanax-3mg a day-For Anxiety


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 10/17/2009 7:44 PM (GMT -7)   

Paulos,

You continue to have excuses for why you will not go to treatment or join a group.  There are many groups out there that you could join online however nothing takes the place of live meetings.  It is to easy to just quit online groups.

Here are some links for you:

Narcotics Anonymous

Yahoo Support Groups - Alcoholism

Yahoo Support Groups - Substance Abuse

"When you've fallen flat on your back, with no where else to go, look up--God is always just a whisper away."

I wish you luck Paulos but I have exhausted any ideas for you.  You must do this because you want it.  You can do it !

Peace,

Kitt


 

~~ Kitt ~~
Moderator: Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn  &
Anxiety/Panic
*~* http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
"I am not a mental health professional, nor do I play one on TV, I just kind of talk like one!"



Paulos
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 201
   Posted 10/20/2009 5:38 AM (GMT -7)   
Where my post go? I said thanks for "exhausting any ideas" on me!!! >:O
"Make a joke and I will sigh, and you will laugh and I will cry. Happiness I cannot feel, and love to me is so unreal."-Loony from Rings of Power

Medications on: Zoloft-50mg daily-For Depression
Darvocet-3 Pills a day-Pain
Xanax-3mg a day-For Anxiety


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 10/20/2009 6:41 AM (GMT -7)   

Paulos,

I sent you an email as your post felt to me like you were not pleased with my response, sorry if I misunderstood you.  You used caps in your post which made it appear like you were shouting and not saying you liked any of the suggestions I had posted.

Sorry if you were being sincere.  I truly do have your best interests at heart and hope you can find help it kicking this monster that wants to be your best friend, addiction.

My prayers to you to help you stay strong.

Hugs

Kitt


 

~~ Kitt ~~
Moderator: Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn  &
Anxiety/Panic
*~* http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
"I am not a mental health professional, nor do I play one on TV, I just kind of talk like one!"



Panike
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 505
   Posted 10/21/2009 6:52 PM (GMT -7)   
HI Paulos i'm sorry your'e having a rough time. I disagree with you about being brain damaged and never getting back to your old self. You dont sound brain damaged to me.You just sound like someone who is down right now and need to find thier way back up. Once you get clean and sober i have faith that you can be back to your old self. I've never suffered from any addictions,not chemical addictions anyway but i know anything is possible especially through christ. Hang in there Paulos!!
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