It's been awhile. But lately things have gotten very bad. I'm such a mess and constantly having panic attacks.
I have been on my Lexapro for 3 years and wondering if it is pooping out on me at 20 mgs?
My shrink wants me to up it to 30 mgs but danggit, I just want to be normal and not have to take ANY meds!
The Lorazepam doesn't do much except when I'm having the actual panic attack; but I don't bother taking one because I don't want to have to take medication all the dang time. So I just cope with the panic attack.
My panic attacks are becoming ridiculous, I will just be standing there and talking normally to people I know in a comfortable situation and then I start to feel faint, heart starts to race, can't breath, and then a JOLT of panic shocks me and I feel like I have to just get the heck outta there. But where am I going to go if I'm.... let's say... home for instance?
I'll go pick up my daughter from my mother-in-law's house and panic most of the way too... a road I've travelled thousands of time!
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME? Before I would go MONTHS without having panic attacks! Now I'm having sometimes 5 of them a day or more!
This is ridiculous. I feel like I'm going to end up in a mental home half the time. It's also very depressing and I tend to just keep it bottled up inside. I cry sometimes about it; but mostly it just fills me with rage because I feel so helpless.
I simply can't get better. I'm getting worse. I feel like just quitting the meds and suffering the withdrawels and panic because it's just so bad. Just wean myself off the Lexapro again and try it drug-free.
My mind is spinning and spinning. I have all these random thoughts and this is so stressful! UGH
I don't really know what else to say.
"Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars."
DX: Panic Disorder, Depression, TMJ (Temporomandibular Joint Disorder), Chronic Migraines
RX: Lorazepam (1 MG - 2 mgs a day), Lexapro (20 MG a day), Tylonel for the TMJ and Migraines
IT'S A GIRL! Amelia Candice.
6 lbs, 6 oz
19.5 inches long
Post Edited (Twiggygal) : 10/23/2009 11:58:16 PM (GMT-6)