Well, I'm a wreck again

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Twiggygal
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 924
   Posted 10/23/2009 10:39 PM (GMT -7)   
It's been awhile.  But lately things have gotten very bad.  I'm such a mess and constantly having panic attacks.
 
I have been on my Lexapro for 3 years and wondering if it is pooping out on me at 20 mgs?
 
My shrink wants me to up it to 30 mgs but danggit, I just want to be normal and not have to take ANY meds!
 
The Lorazepam doesn't do much except when I'm having the actual panic attack; but I don't bother taking one because I don't want to have to take medication all the dang time.  So I just cope with the panic attack.
 
My panic attacks are becoming ridiculous, I will just be standing there and talking normally to people I know in a comfortable situation and then I start to feel faint, heart starts to race, can't breath, and then a JOLT of panic shocks me and I feel like I have to just get the heck outta there.  But where am I going to go if I'm.... let's say... home for instance?
 
I'll go pick up my daughter from my mother-in-law's house and panic most of the way too... a road I've travelled thousands of time!
 
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?  Before I would go MONTHS without having panic attacks! Now I'm having sometimes 5 of them a day or more!
 
This is ridiculous.  I feel like I'm going to end up in a mental home half the time.  It's also very depressing and I tend to just keep it bottled up inside.  I cry sometimes about it; but mostly it just fills me with rage because I feel so helpless.
 
I simply can't get better.  I'm getting worse.  I feel like just quitting the meds and suffering the withdrawels and panic because it's just so bad.  Just wean myself off the Lexapro again and try it drug-free.
 
My mind is spinning and spinning.  I have all these random thoughts and this is so stressful! UGH
 
I don't really know what else to say.
 
TG~
 


"Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars."

DX: Panic Disorder, Depression, TMJ (Temporomandibular Joint Disorder), Chronic Migraines
 
RX: Lorazepam (1 MG - 2 mgs a day), Lexapro (20 MG a day), Tylonel for the TMJ and Migraines
 
 
IT'S A GIRL! Amelia Candice.
 
Born 7-7-08
6 lbs, 6 oz
19.5 inches long
 
 
Help support Healing Well and its' forums and chatrooms... donate today.... http://www.healingwell.com/donate/

Post Edited (Twiggygal) : 10/23/2009 11:58:16 PM (GMT-6)


PaigeDP
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 163
   Posted 10/23/2009 11:00 PM (GMT -7)   
i have one technique that i learned in a mini course of an anti-anxiety program.(I think I learned it there anyways lol) Whenever Im down and thinking about bad things or a panic attack is coming on, I let the anxiety and thoughts into my brain, but I do not react to them. Instead I lable them as things simple. Like for my thoughts of myself going insane I lable them in my mind as "stupid" dont react to them and "put them away". I imagine in my head that I am actually filing away the thoughts and try not to react. This takes alot of practice but does work. Another thing I learned was when youre about to have a panic attack try to take control of it, try to intimidate it instead of the other way around. So you count to twenty telling the panic attack that it has twenty seconds to do its worst it can to you and then if it fails then its gone. This one didnt help me quite as much but did help me avoid having a full on panic attack. I suppose letting the thoughts in and making yourself feel as if youre dominating the panic and not it dominating you gives you confidence.

I hope that my tips help, even if its just a little

Twiggygal
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 924
   Posted 10/23/2009 11:05 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm going to try these. I like this approach. We'll see what happens.

Thanks Paige :)
"Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars."

DX: Panic Disorder, Depression, TMJ (Temporomandibular Joint Disorder), Chronic Migraines
 
RX: Lorazepam (1 MG - 2 mgs a day), Lexapro (20 MG a day), Tylonel for the TMJ and Migraines
 
 
IT'S A GIRL! Amelia Candice.
 
Born 7-7-08
6 lbs, 6 oz
19.5 inches long
 
 
Help support Healing Well and its' forums and chatrooms... donate today.... http://www.healingwell.com/donate/


vestabula
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 2855
   Posted 10/24/2009 6:31 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Twiggy...my worst panic used to happen the moment my eyes popped open in the morning...palpatations and sweating.  I got one idea from my therapist and that was to give the panic a time limit.  I started with a half hour.  If it was 8:00 I told 'it' that it had until 8:30 to get the hell outta Dodge.  Then, when that worked, I lowered the time limit by five minutes.  I don't know why, but that approach actually worked for me.  I also have leaned not to fight off the  panic.  Just Let It Ride, as it will pass.  Thank you Claire Weekes.  Your body just has so much adreanlin that it can release and the attacks are frustrating and scary but not dangerous.  You just have to keep telling yourself that.

After some very traumatic events in my life my physican prescribed Lexapro...against the advice of my therapist, and I went for it.  My dosage was small (10mgs) but it too pooped out on me and because it gave me continuous blurred vision I decided to not up the dosage and wean off.  If you decide to do this, please go very slowly and lower your dosage over the course of many weeks.  I am in week four of withdrawal and it is not a pretty sight but I am determined to get off of this stuff, as it was no longer working and I just don't want to be on an SSRI for the rest of my life.  I do take valium (5 mgs at night) for Restless Leg as Requip was horrific...at least for me.  If I'm having a really anxious day I take one during the day.  But that doesn't happen very often anymore.  I just distract myself and let it do it's thing, knowing it will pass.  Saying this...some people need to be on SSRI's and I know they can be lifesavers and allow for a normal, panic free life.  This is just my decsion and experience and I know not everyone shares my opinion.  I would just not want you to get fed up and quit cold turkey.

You can get through this...just hang in there and refuse to give 'it' more  power than it deseves.

Donna

 

 


fibro, menieres disease, RLS, anxiety disorder, disc compression, scoliosis, spinal stenosis TMJ  Meds: Lexapro and valium

Post Edited (vestabula) : 10/24/2009 9:48:52 AM (GMT-6)


Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 10/24/2009 8:18 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey TG,

Great advice from everyone on here :) I wanted to extend another piece of friendly advice as well. I know you don't like to take pills, neither does many of us on this board. I'm sure everyone would just rather get better as well and not have to deal with the anxiety and panic anymore. But the first step that all of us have to make in our recovery is to accept that we have A/P which is a mental disorder (does not mean "crazy"), and move forward from there. Part of the moving forward lies not only in the therapy, but the medications prescribed to us by our doctors. It seems to me that you jumping back and forth on taking then weaning off of the meds is not helping your situation any and it is downright dangerous. I know because I used to do the same thing myself for years while I just kept getting worse and worse. I finally stopped self medicating myself on my own schedule and started following my physician's advice, and working with her to slowly find my proper dosage so I could live like a "normal" person (which there is nobody truly normal. . . Who sets the standards for normal?) I sure hope you will do what I did and work with your doc and meds to get you better my friend. You CAN get better taking one day at a time. Work through all of your therapy techniques as well, and maybe consider the possibility of speaking to a professional if you feel you need the added help.

You are in my thoughts and prayers. . . Please do know you are not alone, cause you have us here for advice and great peer support :) Take care now and keep us posted!
***Sam***
Anxiety-Panic Disorders Forum Co-Moderator

"Life be not so short but that there is always time for courtesy."
~
Ralph Waldo Emerson~
 
. . .Not a professional. . .
Please consult your doctor before making changes to meds or lifestyle.


Twiggygal
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 924
   Posted 10/29/2009 12:31 AM (GMT -7)   
Donna- Thank you for the kind words. SSRI's are a pain. Lexapro's withdrawels are awful. But I have faith in you! Good luck! Does the vaillum help? Lorazepam only does so much for me

Green Grove- I only weaned off my lexapro once, ( I was referring to the thought of wanting to constantly wean myself off Lexapro) under my shrink's guidance. But thanks. I have done a few different types of therapy and now I'm going to see a new therapist on friday and see what she has to say. I'm praying for something HELPFUL! i've accept I have panic disorder but am not comfortable with the idea of just "dealing" or "coping" with it for the rest of my life. There should and has to be some kind of answer.

I don't know.
"Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars."

DX: Panic Disorder, Depression, TMJ (Temporomandibular Joint Disorder), Chronic Migraines
 
RX: Lorazepam (1 MG - 2 mgs a day), Lexapro (20 MG a day), Tylonel for the TMJ and Migraines
 
 
IT'S A GIRL! Amelia Candice.
 
Born 7-7-08
6 lbs, 6 oz
19.5 inches long
 
 
Help support Healing Well and its' forums and chatrooms... donate today.... http://www.healingwell.com/donate/


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 10/29/2009 4:18 AM (GMT -7)   
Twiggy,

To quote you "I simply can't get better." That sounds so similiar to my own "I will never get better" and yet I do and so do you as you have had some very good runs of feeling better. This is the one disorder you have to try to learn to accept as part of who you are and then go with it.

Remember the journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. One step at a time, one problem at a time. It may seem obvious, but many of us do not proceed in this way. Conscious change often requires two essential components - removing unhealthy things and adding things that are healthy. We also need to strengthen ourselves with positive, life-supporting activities and friends in order to make changes stick.

I am proud of you for making the appointment to see a new therapist and this proves that you are not given in to the anxiety but contiuing to learn new ways to deal with the panic attacks.

Blessings to you and take care,

Kitt

Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 10/29/2009 7:30 AM (GMT -7)   
I am glad you are seeing a new therapist, and I hope that you will find the help that you are seeking my friend :) Congrats on stepping up to your A/P and becoming your own advocate . . . All of those small steps add up in a big way. . . One day at a time :)
***Sam***
Anxiety-Panic Disorders Forum Co-Moderator

"Life be not so short but that there is always time for courtesy."
~
Ralph Waldo Emerson~
 
. . .Not a professional. . .
Please consult your doctor before making changes to meds or lifestyle.


kay09x
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 11/1/2009 6:27 PM (GMT -7)   
hey im 17 dno if this has anythin to do with it but about 4 or 5 months ago i was lyin on my bed watchin skins and suddenly i thought my leg went numb so i was pinching it any everything and gt up ran 2 A n E ( HOSPITAL ) n harf i had 2 sit down coz i thought i was goin 2 faint an i got to the hospital and got checked out and everythin was fine and the day after i still kept feeling dizzy and den it was my arms tiggling and felt like dey was goin numb n den saw a little red dot in my skin so i went the doctors and they told me it was panic attacks and they giv me sum tablets called propranolol they sed it wud carm me down bt i carnt take them becouse it slows your heart rate down ( its ment to like ) but im scared just incase it makes me stop breathin which it wont bt am sill worried. ( im guna end up hurting my self becouse think im goin numb and al be trying to get the feeling back if you no wat i mean )

then about 2 days l8er i just dint feel my self b4 the panic attacks started i dint have much confidence bt nw i do bt nt in a gd way it makes me feel like im not here n that im dreamin n then 2 weeks l8er i started 2 find it hard to swallow even tho i was hungy. n then started to feel a pulse in my head.
and i keep going the doctors coz im scared of dyin there guna think am goin crazy i carnt sleep without thinkin that am not guna wake up the next morning.
i jst carnt stop lookin for somthing on my hole body its like im tryin to find somthin to worry about its doin my headin now becouse im loosin sum of my m8's 4 complainin about my self i just wish it could stop i carnt even get in the bath or shower anymore without jumpin out thinkin am guna faint n am numb or get dressed without checkin my self n im even stressin me mum out with it all she keeps sayin is stop checkin your self n stop worryin theres nothing up with but if i dont check my self then al be breathin dead fast and panicin.
i was in me m8's car the other in the back and i felt like i coudnt breathe properly and felt fainty n then i had to have some alchol to make my self feel better.

does any1 no why. or have any of these problems if so comment me please thanks from kayleigh
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