ok so you think i should just tell her instead of dissapearing and making up a story, i suppose so, i just hope she does as i request, because sometimes you cant tell with her and thats what worries me, my neighbour is an alcoholic and most ppl find her a nusiance and i do too at times but ive gotten to know her on a different level she drinks everyday but she doesnt get drunk and at the end of the day i dont think she hurts anybody. but her friend, if she doesnt like somebody she will stalk them throw bricks through the house and all sorts so i just wondered whether it be better to have nothing to do with both of them all together just incase :) but yes assertive i suppose, the thing is when im thrown into an on the spot situation i will agree to do things im not comfortable with then afterwards i obsess and worry :( something i suppose i have to sort out and improve on, in a way i blame myself because i knew that friend of hers was there that day but i still went in, knowing that perhaps i shouldnt, and i hate myself for it, like why did i do that to myself knowing it was a bad idea, its like i act on impulse sometimes just for the thrill of the challenge then when i have it i feel sick and dont know what to do, is that twisted or what? but i recognise that pattern now and im changing it. i just hope i can stop worrying about this, its my anticipatory anxiety that does it.
thanks for your advice :)