do i really have anything to worry about or is it just irrational anxiety playing up?

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Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 112
   Posted 10/27/2009 6:51 PM (GMT -6)   
so i have this neighbour and we have gotten along for the past year and a half that ive been living here, but she has this friend that she cant get rid of this friend of hers has been in jail and is very violent and my anxiety has just been full on because the other week i went in to ask my neighbour something and the friend was there and i spoke to her breifly, but then the next day she came to my door asking for favours and now im worried that i have stepped my foot into a situation that i dont want to be in, im moving next week because of other issues and i wasnt going to tell my neighbour my new address but i did although i suppose i can still change my story, i just dont want her knowing where i live incase she shows up with her casually one day to drop in or she blabs my address out because my neighbour likes to gossip about everything but at the same time i still wanted to remain friends with my neighbour because i know she isnt a bad person, id still like for her to send me a birthday card or christmas card and so forth but i dont want this friend of hers to think just because i spoke to her breifly that she can start thinking its ok to talk to me and ask me favours because if you get in her bad books, i think shes got something wrong with her and her mood just changes and she has done some nasty things to ppl so i just wanted to stay completly away because i dont allow these types in my life and i was fine up until i realised my neighbour knows my address, i know i obsess alot due to my anxiety so i probably cant see properly wheather its anything to obsess about or not. i guess i have a thing of not wanting to make any mistakes and i try hard to live a stress free life and anything that could provoke it triggers my anxiety. i told her not to tell anyone my address but i dont trust her because although she means well she just cant help herself sometimes. should i just tell her that i didnt appreciate her friend knocking on my door asking me for favours, should i just make it clear to my neighbour then move on, or should i just dissapear and tell her ive actually decided to move back with my parents for a while and just accept the loss of our friendship. i know i must sound crazy, i just need some advice. my neighbour is a little strange and she has had a hard life and some people she knows are dodgy but she as an individual is ok, shes sort of like a crazy grandma to me and i dont know what to do as i dont want to make mistakes in who i associate myself with and im a single mum so im even more cautious

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 10/27/2009 7:24 PM (GMT -6)   

Dear oldsoul84

Stop the spinning thoughts hun and just tell your neighbor that you like that you are not comfortable with her friend and explain that you would be glad to have her come to visit but to please not let the obnxious friend know where you have gone to.

If the person you don't care for shows up you don't invite them in.  Just be assertive and no guilt as that is a wasted emotion.

I hope this helps you feel better.  We must stop worrying about what people that are not nice think about us.  It really does not matter to us.  They will go their way and we will follow the road we choose.

Blessings to you



~~ Kitt ~~
Moderator: Osteoarthritis, GERD/Heartburn,  &
*~* *~*
"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
"I am not a mental health professional, nor do I play one on TV, I just kind of talk like one!"

Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 112
   Posted 10/27/2009 8:04 PM (GMT -6)   
ok so you think i should just tell her instead of dissapearing and making up a story, i suppose so, i just hope she does as i request, because sometimes you cant tell with her and thats what worries me, my neighbour is an alcoholic and most ppl find her a nusiance and i do too at times but ive gotten to know her on a different level she drinks everyday but she doesnt get drunk and at the end of the day i dont think she hurts anybody. but her friend, if she doesnt like somebody she will stalk them throw bricks through the house and all sorts so i just wondered whether it be better to have nothing to do with both of them all together just incase :) but yes assertive i suppose, the thing is when im thrown into an on the spot situation i will agree to do things im not comfortable with then afterwards i obsess and worry :( something i suppose i have to sort out and improve on, in a way i blame myself because i knew that friend of hers was there that day but i still went in, knowing that perhaps i shouldnt, and i hate myself for it, like why did i do that to myself knowing it was a bad idea, its like i act on impulse sometimes just for the thrill of the challenge then when i have it i feel sick and dont know what to do, is that twisted or what? but i recognise that pattern now and im changing it. i just hope i can stop worrying about this, its my anticipatory anxiety that does it.

thanks for your advice :)
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