I'm back yet again and a fool as always >_>

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Paulos
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 201
   Posted 11/12/2009 7:28 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi all... me again, feelin' depressed tonight and dumb :(

Vicodin I was addicted to, three 750 mg pills a day for a year so far... still am, but today I'm not taking it... and it's difficult, I'll tell you... without it, life feels dense and crappy *which is pitiful* to me, vicodin was like my alcohol in a pill form I've come to realize... sigh... I'm a pure loser it seems that can't ... grasp his life....... wow. Wow. A bad day in self esteem day, I am a follyful pathetic mortal.

You all may remember I'm an alcoholic who has had a tough time kicking that even though I have *like 54 days now :)* yet I just feel like, am I CURSED because I felt so high and great from the drug? *Vicodin for example* shocked well, sorry to bother you all. good day.
"Make a joke and I will sigh, and you will laugh and I will cry. Happiness I cannot feel, and love to me is so unreal."-Loony from Rings of Power

Medications on: Zoloft-50mg daily-For Depression
Darvocet-3 Pills a day-Pain
Xanax-3mg a day-For Anxiety


PaigeDP
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 163
   Posted 11/12/2009 8:44 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm sorry that I don't have any advice realy but I want you to know that I read this and care alot about this. I really hope things start to look up for you and I'll pray for you. Addictions are very difficult to get over and I know that it can make you feel very badly about yourself. But you just need to remember you are not a loser! I know it's difficult to stay positive but it's best to try :) I hope you get some good advice from someone on here and just admitting and leaving an addiction is a huge feat in itself! Remember that!

Much love!

Paulos
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 201
   Posted 11/13/2009 1:40 AM (GMT -7)   
Aye it is difficult ... to stay positive when ... you're such a retard/autistic loser of life... thank you ;\
"Make a joke and I will sigh, and you will laugh and I will cry. Happiness I cannot feel, and love to me is so unreal."-Loony from Rings of Power

Medications on: Zoloft-50mg daily-For Depression
Darvocet-3 Pills a day-Pain
Xanax-3mg a day-For Anxiety


Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 11/13/2009 7:23 AM (GMT -7)   
Paulos, I will congratulate you on 54 days without alchohol. But I really think you need to get more help from a rehab center. These addictions are very difficult to fight on your own. I hope you will try to get some help for yourself, so you won't continually be beating yourself up over these addictions. Good luck!
Gail*Nanners* Co-Moderator for Crohns Disease and Anxiety/Panic Forum
Crohn's Disease for over 33 years. Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, Calcium  w/Vit D, and Xanax as needed. Resections in 2002 and 2005. Also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis, and Anxiety. Currently my Crohns is in remission, but my joints are going crazy!
It's scary when you start making the same noises As your coffee maker.
*Every tomorrow has two handles.  We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith"*

debaser
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1745
   Posted 11/13/2009 10:29 AM (GMT -7)   
I second that. You have a brand new life in front of you, but as you already know it's not easy. Some of my friends have made incredible turn arounds. Rehab will help you beat this.

Green Grove
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2424
   Posted 11/13/2009 10:33 AM (GMT -7)   
I also concur with everyone here and hope that you will take the wonderful advice given to you!

Paulos
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 201
   Posted 11/16/2009 5:59 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm just a stupid retard though, rehab doesn't work for me due to my autism I can't ... ... I can't deal with society that much...
"Make a joke and I will sigh, and you will laugh and I will cry. Happiness I cannot feel, and love to me is so unreal."-Loony from Rings of Power

Medications on: Zoloft-50mg daily-For Depression
Darvocet-3 Pills a day-Pain
Xanax-3mg a day-For Anxiety


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 11/16/2009 6:22 PM (GMT -7)   
Paulos, no one is a stupid retard and you are not one either...........you are a human being with a serious problem. Be kind to yourself and know you are cared for here in HealingWEll,

Kitt

alienwife
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 108
   Posted 11/16/2009 9:53 PM (GMT -7)   
paulos, trust me - as a person with autism, you are certainly no "retard" . . . quite the contrary - you are probably closer to pure genius than the rest of us.

both of my children have autism and, while the rest of the world may underestimate them and may not understand them, they are brilliant beyond measure and i am sure you are too . . .

i understand you cant deal with society that much, but you need help to deal with your problems . . . quite often rehab programs can be tailored to individual needs and would not require you to be "dumped" into a group situation that you may not be able to cope with . . .

please hang in there and remember that you are in our thoughts & prayers
Anne

There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
-Albert Einstein

Dx: SLE, Sjogren's, Reynaud's, Peripheral Neuropathy

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