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Mike619er
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 429
   Posted 12/10/2009 4:55 PM (GMT -7)   
Alright well that pressure headache has gone, and most of the tingling in my head has also gone as well.  Some of my negative depressive thoughts are still hanging around, I guess I can't expect the cymbalta to be a cure all.  Am constantly gnawing on my fingers and cannot stop yawning.  I still seem to be wired as hell though.  I just can't seem to relax and enjoy anything.  I spend my times playin games just to pass the day, I'm for the most part completely miserable.
 
Have pulled back from socializing and talking with friends and family, I don't even know what to talk about anymore because I'm just so consumed with myself.  I barely recognize the guy looking back at me in the mirror, and am completely unmotivated and feel like I'm dreaming just about 24/7.  And as all of this seems to be happening to me my sex drive seems to be going up, I don't understand any of this.
 
I feel like I'm bipolar or skizo, I don't know whats going on with me anymore.
 
120 mg Cymbalta
.5 ativan twice a day
ambien for sleep

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 12/10/2009 6:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello,

I did not do well on 120mg of cymbalta and it sure did cause me to have a foggy brain as well as dropped my BP on me. You may want to look at discussing your medications with your physician.



Also I do not remember if you are seeing a therapist as meds will not do the magically trick but are one of the options to use to help with learning to control your anxiety.



Take care and don't give up. Your in good company here in this forum.



Kitt

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/10/2009 7:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Mike.....I honestly think the experience of the mugging has really caused you damage and rightly so....maybe deep down you feel shame at what happened ya know society has this silly idealistic thinking that a ...man has to protect himself or he is not a man...thats a bunch of bull... imho..i am NOT saying this is going on with you just throwing things out for you to consider...have you had any couselling for victims of violent crimes.....has this person been caught or no...i honestly feel a connection with you but the cicumstances are not the same just the outcome.....i use to be out n about laughing all the time even with my a/p then the near death experience and going totally deaf has changed me dramatically...i too sit watch tv and now that i remember password i am back posting n modding....i was always the strong one of 4 kids and now i feel like a burden to them..i have no joy in the holidays coming up...but i hv to put on a fae for my daughter sake..being this reliant on her is taking its toll..i hv in the last couple of days taken my life back n fighting mad i am...i will have the old lyn back i miss her too.....now back to you sorry for venting lol......i truly believe this does all stem from that violation of your personal self/ space..you stay in....passing time with games ....excluding friends....basically becoming like an agoraphobic,,,YOU are not to blame for what happened....yopu need to know that n start getting angry angry enough to TAKE your life back,,,,,no one has the right to take you from you,,,,,you are or seem like a decent guy and i wish i could wave a wand making that whole exprience and your pain go away but we both know i cant...what i can do is be here to listen and converse with you so will others...mever feel you are alone anymore Mike,,,you do have us,,,,,get a punching bag perhaps amd let the anger hurt n pain out...write a letter to the perpetrator of this horrid attack against you,,not mean send it but write it put all down you feel n how it has made you feel....those r just some ideas my friend......i do wish u peace of mind,,AGAIN,,,,,you did nothing wrong....warm huggles ...lyn
                          
                                Co Mod for Crohns, Anxiety/Panic, Alzheimers
   Crohns..Pyoderma gangrenosum,..Anxiety / panic..Fibromyalgia,,Neuropathy...Deaf...Seizures
 
                        I DONT COMPLAIN...OTHERS ARE WORSE OFF THAN I AM                                   
                                                     .....LYN.......
                                Donate to..www..healingwell.com.
                                                    
                                                 
 
                              
 


Mike619er
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 429
   Posted 12/11/2009 8:10 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for all the kind words Kitt and Lyn.  This morning has been pretty good considering how horrible the night was.  It's so wild how my moods can change.  The people at work make me feel better, able to socialize about sports and other things and feel more comfortable.  It's when I'm home is when I'm really bad, not knowing what to do, the not wanting to go out and socialize, the wired and energized feeling that I dont normally feel but on occasion has remained pretty constant, and when it is't I just feel extremely exhausted and don't feel like doing anything.  I need to regain my life back, need to regain my personality back.

The nights are so rough, I can't sleep and just stare at the clock.  I watch TV but don't really watch it anymore, just kind of stare at it while I think of whats wrong with me.  I have these weird dreams that are so vivid and seem to remember all of them.  In one dream I was looking in the mirror and my eyes were all wide, and my cheeks were all swelled out kind of like they were after I had my jaw surgery.  It's so strange the things going on in my life right now, praying that things can return to normal for me.  I'm much better at work then I am anywhere else, I should just work 24/7 and become a workaholic.
 
To address what Lyn was asking, no they never caught the people who mugged me.  And yea I did feel as if I wasn't man enough AFTERWARDS.  Before that I always had confidence in my strength and ability to defend myself or anyone I cared about.  It did change my view point on that even though it was 2 on 1 and it was a surprise attack.  That definetly made me stay in a lot more times then I normally would have especially the 2 months right afterwards.  I have some flashbacks to those feelings whenever I'm driving through a bad neighborhood or something.  Had a really bad flashback when I was playing softball in a really bad town where someone had just been shot playing softball the week before our game was being played there, kept thinking something was going to happen.
 
Also sorry to hear about what you're going through Lyn I can't imagine being deaf that has to be so hard to deal with.  Everyones got their own struggles as I'm definetly starting to realize now and open up to people as they open up more to me.  Everyones got something that bugs them it's just a matter of learning the skills to deal with them.
 
ONE thing that does scare me lately though is, I'm reading WAY too much into music and relating it to myself lately.  Is that normal with anxiety and depression?  I feel as if every song that comes on that radio somehow pertains to me or how I'm feeling, when normally I would just sit and enjoy it and not really feel that way.
 
One last thing too, my pressure headache seems to be gone, I have a little tightness in the back of my neck but thats about it.  But now I have these passing tingling sensations on the top of my head and down my neck.  Is that BETTER or WORSE?  I'm kind of confused as to whether I should be happy or worried about it.
 
~Mike

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/11/2009 7:54 PM (GMT -7)   
I an so glad yr headache is gone mike i think its a good sign personally....MUSIC....OMG how i related to all songs especially the oldies and many many others when i could hear the tunes would be blasting all the time and i related to something from each song ya know,,,,i think many ppl relate to music different periods of their lives,,i hear the songs mom n dad listened to or should say i did..n i wiuld see them dancing..some music use to make me feel it was written just about ME ya know...i miss listening to music i loved all of it and felt part of it..voices n how they sound..what i find now is i am more in tune with body language and really thats a whole other aspect of life.....as for tv i do same i look at the words across screen and despise what losing my hearing has done to me...i get so bleeding frustrated not hearing,,in a room full of ppl i am isolated and alone.......but i could be worse off i have had the pleasure of being a hearing person so i can remember some of the life sounds..thats a plus i guess...i know He will not give me more than i very well can handle...yes i felt sorry for self at first but i am sure their is a reason for it......I truly am sorry you feel alot of how i do n others here i wish it was not real but it is my friend and now we need to get angry n take our lives back we so deserve to live TO..do know i really do get it n i hope you know you can share with me or others here its a great group.....and you are NOT to blame for what those horrid beings did to you...not at all...luvs n huggles..lyn
                          
                                Co Mod for Crohns, Anxiety/Panic, Alzheimers
   Crohns..Pyoderma gangrenosum,..Anxiety / panic..Fibromyalgia,,Neuropathy...Deaf...Seizures
 
                        I DONT COMPLAIN...OTHERS ARE WORSE OFF THAN I AM                                   
                                                     .....LYN.......
                                Donate to..www..healingwell.com.
                                                    
                                                 
 
                              
 


melindazcrew6
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 32
   Posted 12/12/2009 6:22 AM (GMT -7)   
Mike,
Are you still having the dp/dr ??

kitkat32
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 106
   Posted 12/12/2009 6:34 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Mike,

Just wanted to tell you that I am suffering the same. I am only on 40mg of Cymbalta but I have that same wired feeling. Early mornings are the worst for me. I can't sleep past 5 and I feel like a lunatic. My moods change through out the day too. I am fine for a few hours and then all my anxiety comes flooding back.

I am dealing with the same head pain issues too. I have the pressure and also stabbing in my head. My neck is really sore too. I am glad to see that yours is relieved.

I look in the mirror also and don't see the person I use to be. It's very scarey to be going through this.

Did you start right out at 120mg a day. In my non medical opinion the cymbalta has made me more jittery and sometimes our dose has to be adjusted until we get used to it.

I normally have to take a xanax when I first wake up but I am trying so hard not to do that.

I wish for peace for you..feel better. Kitkat

Mike619er
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 429
   Posted 12/12/2009 2:16 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Kit I wish you all the best as well.  And I started off taking 30 mg for 1 week, then 60 mg for 1 week, then it was upped to this 120 mg which I've been taking now for the past week and a half or so now.  I'm going through a lot of the same things you are, I'm just so darn nervous because I've never had these feelings to this extreme before.  I used to be such a relaxed guy, it absolutely blows my mind how something like this could happen.  Start of this year I would just relax around the house, watch a movie, or go out with friends and just be able to be calm.  What happened?
 
And as far as the dp/dr goes, I've read up a little on it but it's really hard for me to say if I'm experiencing those symptoms or not.  I think about that during the day, how I'm feeling, where am I, what's going on?  So maybe I'm experiencing the dr/dp?  I know my personality has definetly gone down the crapper lately and feel like I'm developing this fake nervous laugh too to try and fake it to everyone else, tired of showing everyone how down and confused I am.
 
~Mike

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/12/2009 3:30 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Mike just checking in to see how you are today...i hv a wedding to go to tomorrow and already dealing with anticapatory anxiety..none of ppl there hv seen me since totally deaf..even my ativan isnt calming me today lol......great to see our members responding to your posts ...you take care and i will be thinking bout ya...huggles....lyn
                          
                                Co Mod for Crohns, Anxiety/Panic, Alzheimers
   Crohns..Pyoderma gangrenosum,..Anxiety / panic..Fibromyalgia,,Neuropathy...Deaf...Seizures
 
                        I DONT COMPLAIN...OTHERS ARE WORSE OFF THAN I AM                                   
                                                     .....LYN.......
                                Donate to..www..healingwell.com.
                                                    
                                                 
 
                              
 


kitkat32
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 106
   Posted 12/12/2009 3:51 PM (GMT -7)   
I hear ya on the fake smile part. I just had my nursing graduation party and I couldn't wait for everyone to leave. Isn't that terrible? All these people came to show me how proud they are and I was dieing on the inside.

I am totally wiped out now. Try to hang in there and just know we are all going through this together.

(((hugs))) kit

Mike619er
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 429
   Posted 12/13/2009 4:35 AM (GMT -7)   
Doesn't it suck to have to put on a fake smile or laugh just to get through everyday?  Kitt I'm not sure or not but you seem to be a forum moderator so I'm assuming you've been dealing with anxiety for awhile?  Sounds like you're going through anxiety at a level that is very similiar to mine, does it come in waves and this is a strong time for you or is it always this bad?  Am trying to hold out hope that eventually it will get better.  Tired of faking

kitkat32
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 106
   Posted 12/13/2009 5:04 AM (GMT -7)   
Mike,

I am not a forum moderator. I have dealt with anxiety for years though. It does come in waves for me though. I have gone for several years with no anxiety and then it just comes back.

It is a very strong time for me right now. Feel like I am going crazy. I get alot of physical symptoms that overlap with my pre-existing health problems. Makes it hard for me to tell what is what.

Anxiety is such a strong emotion and can cause us to feel so many things..not only emotionally but physically.

You will get through this though...try to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

My mornings are very hard. It's the worst when I first wake up. I have read that is very common.

I hope you have a brighter day.

kit

kitkat32
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 106
   Posted 12/13/2009 4:59 PM (GMT -7)   
Mike,

I should add that stkitt is a forum moderator. She signs her messages kitt. I will sign mine kitkat from now on so there is no confusion between the two of us.

Sorry if I got anyone confused with my name.

kitkat
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