Back from my hiatus

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Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 114
   Posted 12/17/2009 10:49 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey everyone! I haven't been on here in a few months, but thought I'd touch base since so many of you had such wonderful support for me previously.
To date, I've been in talk therapy, once weekly. It has proven to be tremendously enlightening and I am working through all sorts of issues pertaining to my anxiety. I began going because I had horrid anxiety related to my IBS. As we delved further, I soon realized a lot of my anxiety (which in turn exacerbated my IBS) stems from the fact that I am very unhappy with my current occupation as a lawyer. I just don't much personal satisfaction out of my job and I think that leaves me feeling overwhelmingly bored, stressed, and desparate.
After that realization, I began to ponder what else there is I can do. I unfortunately engaged in a lot of silly negative talk with myself...basically relegating myself to the idea that I wasn't good at anything but being a lawyer, that no one outside of a law firm would want me, and that I couldn't stand to take a paycut. All rubbish.
So, now I'm focusing on really taking action to find something else. I'm networking, reaching out to former professors, professional contacts, friends...starting to overcome my fear. I'm not there yet, but I'm close!
I also realized that my constant obsessive worrying and anxiety was wreaking havoc with my mental and physical health. I was a mess. My IBS was a constant pain in the you know what..literally...and my relationship with my boyfriend was suffering horrifically. Part of that was that my boyfriend has a hard time coping with my IBS. He emotionally detaches when I'm suffering, which caused me to feel isolated and resentful.
So, long story long, I"m still in therapy, starting couples therapy next week and just went back on an anti-d to try to help me through this pit of hell I've been in of late. I"m taking Effexor XR. I took it once before for 2 years and it worked really well for me, but I truly never though I'd go on it again because I had horrid withdrawal. But, it works better for me than others I've tried so I thought what the hell. I have nothing to lose. Also still taking klonopin as needed.
Hope everyone is well. I'll be checking in more often as I could use the support. I need to draw myself out of my cave of despair and share my feelings more. It truly helps.

27 year old female
Dx: IBS-D - 2004
      GAD - 2008
Meds: .5- 1mg Klonopin
Supplements: Doctor's Choice Enzyme Therapy Multivitamin for Sensitive Stomachs, Provex CV Flavonoid, Digestive Enzymes

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1745
   Posted 12/17/2009 11:49 PM (GMT -6)   
Well I hope you can find a job that's more to your liking. There are lots of jobs for people smart enough to get through law school and pass the bar exam, believe me. I'm pretty sure you can do whatever you want.

It sounds like you're doing most if not all of the things one needs to do to get better. Congratulations. Not everyone is willing to do what it takes to make themselves happy (including yours truly a lot of the time).

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 12/18/2009 7:10 AM (GMT -6)   
As I read your post I thought for sure you were taking quotes from my own life. :) I have dealt with so many of the same issues as you and I agree therapy is wonderful but most of all I have been working hard on accepting that I have anxiety and I am a work in progress.

Each day brings new challenges and new feelings. You are doing awesome and going back on medication for you feels like the right thing to do.

I am so very happy to see you posting your update here and please know we are here for you so keep on moving forward one step at a time.

Happy Holidays,


Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 12/18/2009 9:14 AM (GMT -6)   
Wow Bela sounds like you are definetly moving in the right direction. I am so happy for you. I can really relate to the anxiety triggering IBS, the same thing happens to me. Although I have Crohns Disease, I also suffer with IBS related to it and the anxiety added in didn't help at all either. Keep up the good work and don't be such a stranger.

Gail*Nanners* Co-Moderator for Crohns Disease & Anxiety/Panic
Crohn's Disease for over 34 years. Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, Calcium, Vit D, and Xanax prn. Resections in 2002 & 2005. Also diagnosed w/ Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis, & Anxiety. Currently my Crohns is in remission, but my joints are going crazy!
*Every tomorrow has two handles.  We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith"*

Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 114
   Posted 12/20/2009 1:31 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks everyone. I have been working really hard on doing all that I can to be proactive in my quest to get better. I also am accepting, as you say Kitt, that I am a work in progress. Maybe I always will be, but I know that I have to keep moving towards finding happiness.
So far so good on the Effexor. I have had minimal side effects, if anything, I already am beginning to feel a spike in my energy level, more stable moods and less irritability/agitation. Thank goodness. I do have an increase in diarrhea from the meds, but I get that from just about all anti-d's. I hope that it gets better in a week or two after my body adjusts.
On a good note, other than the sporadic diarrhea, the meds do seem to help calm my gut down quite a bit. I usually dread waking up in the morning because of the pain, but this has seemed to improve somewhat since starting the anti-d.
I will keep you posted on my progress and also my job search :) Thanks again for the encouragement.
28 year old female
Dx: IBS-D - 2004
      GAD - 2008
Meds: .5- 1mg Klonopin as needed & 37.5 mg Effexor XR 

Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 318
   Posted 12/20/2009 7:16 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Bela, I'm glad to see that your therapy is going so well. Your story sounds a lot like mine. I have been doing CBT therapy once a week since August and I am seeing a lot of progress so I know how happy you are about the success of your therapy sessions. Its great that you are able to work and have a career because will have to start from the bottom once I can go back to work. I am also considering couples therapy for me and my Fiancee because my anxiety has cause a strain on our relationship. So I know what you are going through and I wish the two of you the best of luck. It will get better (now I just have to convince my self the same thing).
This too shall pass...

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