Still struggling and confused

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Mike619er
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 429
   Posted 2/21/2010 5:25 PM (GMT -7)   
I haven't posted up on here in awhile, I actually have been posting up on another site lately but felt the need to come back here and post up what I'm going through a little bit.  Was reading up on the boards the other day and was still relating to a lot of the stuff that people were posting about.
 
I've been diagnosed with anxiety and depression since last october.  When it first happened I was having these terrible headaches, and was totally unable to relax.  My whole body was trembling and shaking, couldn't sleep at all.  Was having sexual problems as well, just about anything and everything that could go wrong in my life, was going wrong.
 
With the help of cymbalta and my therapist some of these symptoms have gotten better lately.  But I still am really really struggling and battling through some issues.  Hopefully others can shed some light on these issues for me because I really could use some help.
 
1)  I'm always excessively yawning and having these involuntary twitches, my arms, legs, mouth, just these random little things that happen a lot more then I used to.
 
2)  I am confused a lot, I can't really keep up with whats going on sometimes.  I'm constantly forgetting things, things that I normally would never even have to think about.  For example, just normal routines of things I have to do at work.  I will just forget what I'm doing, what I was planning to do, sometimes even what I have to do even right after being told.
 
3)  I feel like I'm not in control.  I feel like I'm on autopilot or something, like my mind went on vacation since October and my body is just coasting through this rough time for me.
 
4)  I have a fear that because I feel like I'm not in control, that I'm going to do something I regret.  I don't have any violent or crazy thoughts, but I have a fear that I'm starting to develop some mental illness and things are just going to get worse.  I used to always be so sure of my thoughts, and in total control of myself in every situation.  Knowing exactly what I want to do, and feeling comfortable in my decisions.  Lately I feel like I'm just totally blank upstairs and I'm just going with the flow, which frustrates me to no end lately.
 
5) My coordination lately has really been failing me.  Have been very clumsy and even something stupid as running down or up stairs like I normally wouldn't have a problem with seem impossible lately.  Don't know why that is, but it really gets me nervous when I start thinking about it too much.  And you can add on the fact that I'm having terrible stomach pains and digestive problems.  Not to get too graphic but even my stool is really dark lately.
 
6 And I guess as far as the depression part goes, I find myself thinking about the meaning of life lately.  Why I'm here, why we're all here.  Why certain things are the way they are, pretty much questioning just about everything and anything.
 
7)  I'm constantly fidgeting and having trouble staying still lately.  On top of that, sleep is impossible without taking my ambien for sleep.  Even with taking my ambien I can only get 4 hours of sleep if I'm lucky.  And thats with me waking up every hour.
 
 
So in summary, I'm thinking I have some terrible illness that will never get better.  Whether it's something mental like the beginning stages of skitzophrenia, or maybe it's something physical.  I just feel like I'm way too messed up lately to be just suffering from anxiety.  Because I really don't ever feel like myself and relaxed lately.  If anyone can help me and relate to all of this crap, if it's even possible for another person to have all these symptoms...I'd greatly appreciate it.

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 2/22/2010 4:25 AM (GMT -7)   
Good Morning,


Reading your post I noted that some of your symptoms are ones I experienced on different meds I have been on over the years...............perhaps discussing the medications you are on with your physican might help identify some of these problems.



I am glad to know you are making some progress and that you have a therapist. I know the other members will have input for you and I wish you well.



Take care,



Kitt

Mike619er
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2009
Total Posts : 429
   Posted 2/22/2010 12:49 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you Kitt.  I was wondering just what symptoms you did relate to that you were having side effects from your medication from?  I am really getting pretty annoyed with all this and can use any info I could on others who have been through the same.

mslady1996
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 23
   Posted 2/22/2010 7:08 PM (GMT -7)   
There are several symptoms that you have stated that I can totally relate to, i.e., the excessive yawning-- seems that when I feel an attack coming, I begin to yawn more than normal...what that's all about? Im not completely sure. Read somewhere that it has something to do with your oxygen level or something like that?? Also, the questioning the meaning of life has been an issue with me lately...thinking about death on a daily, etc...I am by NO MEANS thinking about suicide or anything related to it, however, i just find myself feeling purposeless and hopeless alot of times...I've never thought about death and dying like I do now, so I'm assuming it has some relation to depression/anxiety?? I also feel as though I cant focus and dont have control over my life but I also feel it has to do with the condition. Havent had any coordination or problems sleeping (actually been sleeping too much here lately) but I wish you well. Try not to worry about it all. Take Care and God Bless....

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 2/24/2010 8:53 AM (GMT -7)   
Mike,

I experienced low blood pressure with vertigo and felt like my head was foggy. Also with one med I was so foggy I was experiencing walking into walls...........felt like I had a few to many beers.........and I don't even drink :)

Of course each person is different and some people tolerate the SSRI meds better.

Good luck and do talk with your physician as you may just need a dose adjustment.

Gentle Hugs,

Kitt
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