friendship anxiety issue

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oldsoul84
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 112
   Posted 2/24/2010 7:22 PM (GMT -7)   
 basically the past four years of my life have been anxiety hell, i havent had family or friends for support whatsoever, so ive pretty much kept to myself and suffered in silence. Recently i made a friend in the shopping centre, she just came up to me and said she would love to be my friend, most ppl would think this is weird but i liked the fact that she was herself and not afraid to do that and think out of the box. so since then i have opened up about my past and have felt so much better, i have felt like i am finally moving foward, we have spend alot of time with each other and i felt like we connect on some level.. we both have the same views on things and we are both dreamers, but latley i feel like ive really gotten to know her, and i dont know if she is changing or if her true colors are comming out but i cant help feel that she is abit immature, she is a few years youger, she has only just started going out and experiancing life as her culture has led her to live a life thats trapped, so i do understand that, but i dont like the way she is becomming, her once beautiful innocence is being taken over by a shallow attitute, and i feel like i cant be myself around her anymore, i feel like we connect in some ways but on the whole maybe not, im so gratefull that she came into my life, but i dont know if continuing our friendship is the best thing for me , i want to grow as a person not feel like im taking ten steps back and acting like a teen again, im 25 she is 22, but i feel like through all my suffering i have found out who iam and grown up alot and i just dont know what to do, i dont know how to go out and meet new friends, and she is the only one who knows what ive been through so i feel at ease with her and that i can tell her anything, it took me alot to do that, i dont wanna keep meeting ppl and going through my whole life story over n over again, its hard.
 
what should i do, she is the only one i really have right now, and if i stop seeing her, i dont want to go back to being a loner, i cant go back there again, but if i spend time with her i feel like i cant be myself anymore and i dont like her attitude and the swearing etc its not the type of ppl i like to associate with. im torn and this whole thing is depressing me, and making me feel like i cant breathe. i want to keep moving foward! i feel so dissapointed, it was all going so well.. it was perfact and now i feel lost again.

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 2/25/2010 8:32 AM (GMT -7)   
Dear Oldsoul,

I am sorry to hear you are going through this rough time and I do know how you feel as over the years I have had many friends that have come and gone and others that have stayed.

Some relationships carry much too high a price. You have to let go. There is no <a target="_blank" href=":void(0)">feeling of superiority</a> or hostility. You simply cannot afford the relationship any more. It costs too much. You have to move on because you know it is best for YOU and for the other person. I am not sure you are ready to do this but perhaps just backing off a bit from the friendship and looking at other opportunities is an idea you might consider.

I do know how hard it is to try to make new friends but perhaps looking into volunteering, joining a social club, something through your church are ways you might meet new people. Remember you do not have to tell everyone you meet you whole history. Wait and see how you and a new friend get along and then only share what you are comfortable sharing. It is ok to keep some things to yourself. We all have things we want or feel the need to share but never feel you have to apologize or tell all for being who you are.

You are a good person and look for friends who like you just the way you are.

Hope this helps is some small way and you have online friends here...........((((((((((Hugs)))))))))

Kitt

debaser
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1745
   Posted 2/25/2010 1:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Volunteering is a great suggestion. You get to do something good, and people who volunteer are generally very sociable. Not to mention you will probably have a common interest with them already.
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