Well last night was a hum dinger....went to bed 9 am and soon woke up
for the first time with a panic stupid thoughts anxiety feeling that i had
before....i have to put the lights on and read something banal and everyday
to keep me from thinking about ...god knows what in fact all i know is that
is not nice...feelings of being trapped but not necessarily in a physical way.
putting the radio on somethimes helps but if the topic is something that
has happened thats not nice this just aggravates the feelings of dread
and dispear and i have to find something else to do...fold up the clothes
on the floor maybe or generall tidy something...
it must have happend around 10 times last night falling asleep each time to be
fully away again after 30 mins or so with the feeling of doom...its so unpleasant
i am wondering what the hell is happening...life if pretty crap in fact and i am under
a lot of stress but i had these feelings before all this so it cant be the cause..i rememebr
in my teens i had an episode that lasted the night..i am 50 now!!!Its as if you cant get you mind
back from some place its got stuck silly dream like thoughts take over and overwhelm me
and i have to trick it out of me.... i can well understand what mental illness is like because
the thought of feeling like i do when having an episode to any period of time is unthinkable
I wonder if i am alone. I know i havent explained the feelings well in order for someone to
know whether they have them too.....another thing...as the feelings start to subside i get a sense
of euphoria that i am out of the darkness and things are back to normal....
i am starfting to get panicky about going to bed...i nod off in the day time and i think its becasue i havent
had enough quailty sleep so thins is making it worse...
any advice welcome