I used to drink to alleviate my anxiety. When I began taking SSRI's, I didn't drink because I was too scared to mix the two. I have a friend that drinks while taking Zoloft (a few beers here and there), but everyone is different. Most doctors advise not to drink while taking SSRI's, mostly because some meds can cause drowsiness and alcohole may intensify it. And second, because alcohol can decrease the effects of the SSRI. As always, you should talk to your doctor.
I never thought I would quit using beer to help with my anxiety. When I first stopped, for about 4 days after I went through a psychological withdrawal. I didn't have the physical symptoms, but my panic was through the roof. At that point, though, I wanted the SSRI to work so badly, I didn't drink. My doctor prescribed me 0.5mg of klonopin to help with the side-effects of the SSRI, which helped, also. But if you don't think you can just quit drinking, talk to your doctor. There are ways to help wean you off.
And people say this all the time and when I was drinking, I heard ALL THE TIME that drinking does not help anxiety. I was always like "They are wrong. It is the only thing that helps me!" But when I quit, I noticed a world of difference. I started sleeping better throughout the night, my heart wouldn't race (would race when I was sobering up), I got more done and could concentrate better, I felt better that I didn't have to rely on it, and so much more! I feel a MILLION times better without drinking every day to cope. Once in a while I'll have a couple beers, like if a friend comes over, but I don't go overboard because 1.) it could cause me to relapse and 2.) the hangovers are the worst to deal with, especially with having panic.
As far as the SSRI, I know this doesn't help, but they are all so different for everyone. I took Lexapro for a short time and I loved it! It helped me with my depression, I have SO much more energy without the jittery feelings and I just had a better outlook on life. I had to stop because it constantly made my heart race. It wasn't like a jittery feeling, but it literally made my heart rate speed up and it made my heart palpitate almost constantly. I also started having chest pain, so my doctor took me off of it.
Sounds like you have a lot of stress at home. Maybe talk to your spouse regarding the disrespect you are getting? Or try talking to your stepson to see if you may be able to work out a two-way respectable relationship? Good luck! And hang in there!