teenage son giving me panic attack

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hazelnut86
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 1221
   Posted 4/11/2010 3:00 PM (GMT -7)   
has anyone ever dealt with a teenager making their lives hell? ha my son just left with his grandmother and i am feeling so anxious and panicky. he is being so disrespectful - i was crying and now i'm just mad. how do you deal with it and not feel this way??? he has been in alot of trouble lately but his dad's house where his grandmother lives close by is not really an option. his dad is an alcoholic with a temper and my son just hit the wall outside my house and maybe broke his hand. my son goes to a very nice school and is very clean cut and a handsome boy with a girlfriend - just trying to paint a picture. i don't know why he is acting this way and it is sooo hurtful.

trying to deal is hard.

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 4/11/2010 3:31 PM (GMT -7)   
Dear Hazel,


You are right, trying to deal is hard. Teenagers are a whole breed of their own. I am sorry you are feeling bad but remember your son is just acting out and know that he does love you.



Try to bring about a change in your behaviour and reactions in your dealings with your son and hope that in near future, it will bring about a positive change in him.



We have some other members going through tough times with their teenager as well as with their young adult children too.



Blessings,



Kitt

hazelnut86
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 1221
   Posted 4/11/2010 4:42 PM (GMT -7)   
thanks kitt - he keeps asking me why i am afraid to let him go - i am because i know his dad is a bad influence. but i have had other people tell me just to let him and he will see that i love him more than anyone and how good he has it with me. it's so hard. i get so heartbroken when he is disrespectful because i did not teach him to act this way. it feels that i can just not win with him lately. he is a good kid but does not like authority sometimes and he doesn't want me questioning him. i try to change how i act but it's hard sometimes when they act like they don't have to answer to you. ugh

MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 4/11/2010 5:19 PM (GMT -7)   
I am so sorry for you to be going thru this.
I am not a mother so I do not know what you are going thru, but I have taken some family studies classes and what I recall is that the primary job of an adolescent psyche is to seperate from it's parents, bear in mind that also said that adolescence actually ends in the mid to late twenties. Which I have to admit was about the time most people start realizing that their parents were right about some stuff.
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Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 4/12/2010 12:09 PM (GMT -7)   
Cait is lashing out as well this is an honor student great ll round young woman
she was put thru so much when i got sick n was in very bad shape
ended up deaf

it is her pain n mine she is dealing with
also the loss of a mom she knew so well
the one who set her clothes out
had laughter constantly mostly at self lol
the person i was

i am slowly coming back to me but in the interrim cait has slipped away
we are working on things as i will not lose my daughter
too many losses in last while

i am thinking the advice you have been given is good n i got something out of it as well
lets keep our heads n wits about us
the do love us but right now cait has conditions n
she is really trying to make me see for self the hades i put self thru
in the longrun they are our children n we love them but oh boy can we get frustrated n angry with them
so i am assuming she gets that way with mom too lol

sorry you are going thru this as well
lyn

Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 4/12/2010 1:29 PM (GMT -7)   
You know Hazel it might not be such as bad idea to let him spend the day with his Dad. That way he can see the way his Dad "really" is. I use to cry so much when my kids acted out to me concerning their Dad. But let me tell you now that they are adults and have reached out to him, of course he is too busy for them now. Now they see that Mom wasn't as wrong as they thought and Dad is not the man they thought he was either. Sometimes we have to step back and let them see for themselves what the truth is. I know its hard for you to let him go with his Dad, but maybe some hard truths will hit him and he will see Mom was right and only trying to protect. Sending you peaceful spirits.

Hugs
Gail*Nanners*

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 4/16/2010 10:49 AM (GMT -7)   
I believe that is only way he will see as Nanners has said
he will find out for himself

i am facing alot of what you are except its cait n a boyfriend issue now

omg its frustrating but know you hv instilled you in him n it will come out for the best i believe

so sorry you are going thry teen hades as well
huggs
lyn
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