Help, Husband complains Im terrible*

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Cpdwife15
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 4/21/2010 12:52 PM (GMT -7)   
I first want to introduce myself I am a 34 y/o mother of two & wife.
I was diagnosed in 09 w/fibromyalgia and Cfs. I also have anxiety & asthma.
I am medicated and I do take medication for the CFS/FMS/Asthma but not
the Anxiety.
Recently in the past two yrs my husband has expressed I have worsened w/
the "I am terrible w/yelling, being hasty and abrupt (impatient)"...
For one thing I do joke about being impatient and that all Italians are lol.
But I know that I've noticed things that I do are /were things that as a child
my own mother would do as well...And she has bad bad nerves. She was only
years later after having menopause late 90s' , to be diagnosed w/Anxiety.
She is medicated and faaaaaaaaaaaar more calmer now that she ever was!
I am not. But I can control my feelings emotions and anxiety at least I'd like to
think I do.
I feel my husband is unwilling to be patient w/my FMS /CFS but yet he is with
my asthma. Its like he only can understand things on his own level...w/out
educating himself at all. To which I always email him things from online to read.
I try! Im willing open to suggestions.
 
Thanks
 

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 4/21/2010 2:05 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi n welcome to the anxiety forum
i too get so frustrated n nerves get outta control
i am on an anxiety med n anti depressant
these help me greatly
i would ask the doc for something and then learn coping skills such as cognitive behavioural therapy
there are many other ways to cope with a/p but sometimes with all else we hv medication short temr could be the best
others may have more input n better input for you
i do wish you all the best
keep posting here too we are here for you huggs
lyn

Cpdwife15
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 4/22/2010 4:48 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you & Good morning.
I appreciate the post...and advice. I am due to go back to see my RA dr in May.
I am contemplating switching my primary though I've seen him twice & I just
dont 'think' he is for me. He is non medicative he doesnt like to give them out per se?

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 4/22/2010 5:43 AM (GMT -7)   
Well there are docs that dont but i truly believe the anxiety meds n ad s can n do help along with coping skills
keep posting n let us know how you are doing
huggs
lyn

Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 4/22/2010 6:50 AM (GMT -7)   
I think your husband has a hard time dealing with the Fibromyalgia and CFS as those are illnesses that you can't see like you can with Asthma. With Fibro we are complaining about the pain, or with the CFS how tired we are. But they can't see what these illnesses do to us on the inside. I and Howlyncat both have Crohns Disease and Fibromyalgia and we both understand your pain and fatigue. But we both also know that people don't have a clue how we are really feeling as on the outside we look fine and no other person can see the pain and agony going on inside.

May I suggest you take your husband with you to your doctors visit so he can hear from your doctors how bad you are feeling. Big hugs to you!

Cpdwife15
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 4/22/2010 6:53 AM (GMT -7)   
I need to see a therapist then or just my RA doc and primary?

Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 4/22/2010 9:05 AM (GMT -7)   
I meant I thought you should take him with you to the doctors who treat your CFS & Fibro. The doc can then explain what its like to have these conditions. Maybe hubby will then be a little more compassionate about what you are going thru. Hugs!
Gail*Nanners* Co-Moderator for Crohns Disease & Anxiety/Panic
Crohn's Disease for over 34 years. Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, Calcium, Vit D, and Xanax prn. Resections in 2002 & 2005. Also diagnosed w/ Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis, & Anxiety. Currently my Crohns is in remission, but my joints are going crazy!
*Every tomorrow has two handles.  We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith"*

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 4/22/2010 9:22 AM (GMT -7)   
Good Morning,


I feel like you would benefit from therpay as you will have that one person for yourself that you can go to and talk things out without being judge. In therapy you can learn ways to deal with your anxiety.



I guess I don't have a disease other then osteo and GERD but I have really bad anxiety and depression right now. It is so hard to accept and to live with when it hits you with a 1, 2, 3 punch and you feel like you just need someone in your corner.



I agree with the wise ladies above and hope you do look at finding a new physician, bringing your hubby to your physician's appointment and finding a good therapist.



From one who is in a really bad place now but keeps getting up everyday to face whatever lies ahead, I wish you peace.



Kitt

Cpdwife15
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 4/22/2010 10:23 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you thank you thank you ...
I am wanting him to come w/me to appts I am just stuck w/two kiddies too so its difficult.
I am always showing him articles and things online to read to cope w/me and this disease.

I am wanting to be on diff medications and I think me adding a therapist right now at this point
would make things quite difficult for the new savalla to kick in and get adjusted /just too much ?
So I will keep everyone posted, thank you again :)

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 4/22/2010 12:05 PM (GMT -7)   
You are welcome and I sure do understand the "starting a new medication issues". Getting on a new med is difficult as I just start one on Tuesday :)



We are always here and thow we don't always have the cure we always have an abundance of support and caring to offer you.



Please do stick with us and let us know how you are.



Gentle Hugs,



Kitt

Cpdwife15
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 4/22/2010 12:46 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank u .....I mean it !

AmyTx
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 185
   Posted 4/23/2010 2:10 PM (GMT -7)   
i have lupus and i can understand the invisableness of an illness or condition and i understand the extreme fatique..i have asthma too and when my anxiety kicks in makes my asthma worse.. i see a cognitive behavioral therapist and it seems to help.. but im also on xanax in the morning and ativan at night.. i wish it was something i couldnt potentially get addicted too but for now its helping me function...

good luck

by the way my husband was not real supportive of me either thought i was losing my mind and i always have 3 kids in tow too... make him stay with the kids while you go to doctors..easier said than done but hopefully he will come around
Female: 38 yrs/old DX: Lupus (dx:'03) MCTD, Raynaud's, Anxiety./panic disorder, GERD, Antithyroid antibodies, Lupus Cebritis, Lupus CNS, Lupus Pneumonitis and Stage 3 & 5 Lupus Nephritis. PRES ,Seizures, Photosensitivity since childhood, vasculitis, left thumb and toe amputated from raynauds, Sjogren's
Meds: cellcept, Plaquenil,Prednisone 10,Miracle mouthwash,bactrim, actonel, caltrate, Xanax, Darvocet, Xopenex inhaler, Xopenex Nebulizer, Spiriva, prevacid, aspirin 325mg, pantaprozole and carafate


Cpdwife15
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 4/23/2010 4:06 PM (GMT -7)   
Amy, My mother takes ativan how does it help you?

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 4/23/2010 6:07 PM (GMT -7)   
i also have ativan prn n it does help with calming me down am also on diazepam for a/p n nueropathy
keep posting n getting support
lyn

Cpdwife15
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 4/23/2010 6:28 PM (GMT -7)   
I sure will keep you posted , I do not see my dr for RA until may...:( right before our move.
I am trying to keep my chin up its been difficult!

AmyTx
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 185
   Posted 4/23/2010 7:31 PM (GMT -7)   
ativan takes the panic away within an hour and i sleep much much better...
Female: 38 yrs/old DX: Lupus (dx:'03) MCTD, Raynaud's, Anxiety./panic disorder, GERD, Antithyroid antibodies, Lupus Cebritis, Lupus CNS, Lupus Pneumonitis and Stage 3 & 5 Lupus Nephritis. PRES ,Seizures, Photosensitivity since childhood, vasculitis, left thumb and toe amputated from raynauds, Sjogren's
Meds: cellcept, Plaquenil,Prednisone 10,Miracle mouthwash,bactrim, actonel, caltrate, Xanax, Darvocet, Xopenex inhaler, Xopenex Nebulizer, Spiriva, prevacid, aspirin 325mg, pantaprozole and carafate


Cpdwife15
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 4/23/2010 7:38 PM (GMT -7)   
I can sleep thats just it I sleep I think too much or I feel as if I dont get enough!

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 4/24/2010 6:45 AM (GMT -7)   
you can get 0.5 mg ativan for anxiety these just slightly calm me down do not make me tired
ive been sleeping alot due to other issues with family n health...makes me very sad..not eating but a can of soup n pkg of crackers a day if..i just dont feel i hv found me again after losses n becomiming deaf but i will prevail

huggs n keep posting
lyn

Cpdwife15
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 4/24/2010 7:10 AM (GMT -7)   
HC I am so sorry you've become deaf, what has caused this ailment? I am sorry.
I cannot imagine loosing any of my senses. I was just thinking of that the other day.

I have trazadone and I dont use it. I already get migraines too.

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 4/24/2010 7:21 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi there
i was getting sores down to bone is caled PYODERMA GANGRNOSUM...
]it is unusual but des affect some ppl with crohns and a/p made it worse
was constantly on iv med rocephin/ vancomycin for this it caused some loss of hearing
my daughter came home n found me head down in glass coffee table i had grand mal seizure
thats when all hearing was lost
i so miss hearing the birds music my daughters voice ect
ppl can be very cruel as well if i am out n cannot understand what they are saying ....
i have retorted with im deaf not stupis sooooooo lol
yes its hard to lose senses but again i will get thru it and so will you get thru this
huggs
lyn

Cpdwife15
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 31
   Posted 4/24/2010 7:25 AM (GMT -7)   
Oh good lord...I cannot imagine I just cannot. That must have been horrible for you & your daughter.
My prayers are w/you...

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 4/24/2010 8:37 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you but i still count my blessings daily i truly do
i know there is a reason He has n i will find it out im sure

as for trazadone it really helps me to stop mind from going all over at night but i had to go back to 50 mgs as i felt kinda hungover lol n i havent drank since 79..but sure do remember the feelings of a bleeding hangover..lol
be well n again thank you you are very kind
huggs
lyn

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 4/26/2010 3:31 PM (GMT -7)   
how r u making out just wondering how you are
lyn

SnowyLynne
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 1539
   Posted 4/26/2010 4:07 PM (GMT -7)   
My hubby used to get upset with me with my breathing problems.One day I had enough.I flat told him WHEN YOU WALK IN MY SHOES FOR AWHILE THEN you'll know what it's like so SHUT UP!!!! It worked.
SnowyLynne

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