Role Call - Let us hear how you are doing?

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stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 4/30/2010 7:40 AM (GMT -7)   
Post a note or two so we can keep track of you.



As some of you know this has been a difficult time for me as my anxiety and depression have kicked in and I have been seeing my therapist and also started on a new medication - a mood stablizer.



My hubby had surgery and spent 16 days in the hospital being released on March 3rd so I spent 12 hour days and sometimes more at his bedside everyday. I was strong and supportive and did all that I needed to do but once he came home I started to have a major episode of anxiety and my depression kick into high gear.



There is always light at the end of the tunnel.



It is true that some tunnels appear that way but there are always hidden passageways where others have joined together to keep each other company so the journey doesn't seem so hopeless. I believe that is what happens right here in this forum, people join together to help one another.



To each of you I say thank you for all you have given to me.



I wish you peace and now it is your turn to share how you are doing. We love to hear happy stories or not so happy but let us hear from you.



Gentle Hugs,



Kitt

debaser
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1745
   Posted 4/30/2010 8:39 AM (GMT -7)   
Well, things aren't going all that well to be honest. My anxiety, generally, is under control. I don't know how because you'd think I'd be a total wreck with everything that's going on.

The good news is I'm fighting the battles head on, so to speak. Things are getting done and maybe my life will settle down pretty soon. For now, though, work is tough and money isn't coming in like I'd like it to, and my family and personal life has gone awry as well. I had to break up with my girlfriend because she was driving me nuts, and since I did that things have become a lot less stressful. A lot more lonely, though. Under normal circumstances I think she and I could have worked things out, and that makes me kind of sad.

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 4/30/2010 9:59 AM (GMT -7)   
debaser,


Thanks for your update and I know you must feel sadness at breaking up with your gf but I am sure you did it for the right reasons. Just keep moving forward one step at a time and no beating yourself up.



Remember to come here and share your feelings whenever you feel like it.



Awesome to read how well you have done. I am glad to see you were able to have your last session with your therapist and to hear you both came away from the meeting feeling good about the outcome. Kudos to you for giving yourself credit for a job well done. I love how you recognize your a work in progress and that you may have times when you hit bumps in the road but in your own words, Don't Stop !



Thank you for sharing with all of us as you are on the road to staying well.



Gentle Hugs to both of you,



Kitt

Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 4/30/2010 10:09 AM (GMT -7)   
I have been having more anxiety of late. First off I have to have a total knee replacement done in the next few months. It scares me to death. I know that once I get over the initial surgical pain and thru rehab I will be glad that I did it, but right now I'M SO SCARED!!!

Also, my daughters are really causing me alot of grief. I feel attacked by them for things that are going wrong in their lives. I logically know that I didn't cause the issues in their lives, but the words they throw at me really hurt me deeply. I was a good and supportive Mother and still am. But somehow I have 3 very selfish and self centered adult daughters. My daughters are suffering from consequences of their own chosing. Sorry Mom isn't at fault because you make poor choices. But their attacks are painful and throw me briefly into deep anxiety and stress. And then of course, I am still grieving the loss of my own Mom who only passed away 15 mos ago.

I am meeting with my family doctor on Tuesday, to discuss my anxiety. Maybe its time for something daily, or maybe a little stronger anxiety med. My Xanax still works, but lately I have had to take it a little more often (not daily) and it seems as if I need more than one to quiet my spirits. I also will be seeing my therapist again on May 11th. The hardest part for me has been having to wait for these appts. But they are almost here, and God willing I will be able to hang on till then.

Thanks for letting me vent here.

Hugs
Gail*Nanners*
Gail*Nanners* Co-Moderator for Crohns Disease & Anxiety/Panic
Crohn's Disease for over 34 years. Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, Calcium, Vit D, and Xanax prn. Resections in 2002 & 2005. Also diagnosed w/ Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis, & Anxiety. Currently my Crohns is in remission, but my joints are going crazy!
*Every tomorrow has two handles.  We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith"*

Celey
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 1284
   Posted 4/30/2010 12:31 PM (GMT -7)   
I hope things start getting better for you Kitt, I'm sure since your husband is out of the hospital now, things will start to ease up... Just need to get your anxiety and depression under control... *Hugs*'

I hope you start to feel better, too, debaser... I've never been in a relationship really, so I don't know what romantic heartbreak is like... But I'm sure it's painful... and family issues on top of that... That sucks...

And I'm glad you're doing well, Csmc... Kitt has always been pretty awesome at supporting people... and you're doing pretty good in that area, too... *Again, thank you for your support, Csmc*

Nanners... :(... I'm sorry that you have to have surgery... Total knee replacement? I think I'd be scared, too... *Hugs* Take heart, though... I've heard that being stressed before a surgery is a good thing because it helps to prepare your body for the surgery and makes things go much smoother...

It is sad that your daughters are being so mean to you... You've always been so nice and comforting here, so I have no idea why they are throwing up such a big fuss... I would've been more than happy to have you as a mom... It can be really hard to deal with family, especially when they're hurting you... Try to steel yourself against it... Gotta keep reminding yourself that it isn't your fault that your daughters have made such poor decisions in their life... and that you did your best raising them... You're a good person, Nanners...

As for an update on me... well... I've already made a post.... I'm on a decline again... emotionally... Physically, I'm doing all right (I think I probably have a UTI... again... But whatever... I seem to get those all the time, anyway)... I am kinda worried that stress and anxiety and depression will cause my Crohn's to flare up again... so, I'm hoping to get things under control soon so that doesn't happen (Don't want to get caught in that vicious cycle again)... I've been thinking that maybe I never really got over the whole PTSD thing... It explains a lot... I don't feel particularly inclined to repeat all of what I've gone through on here... this being a public forum and all... And, in general, I prefer not to think about those things because it hurts too much...

As for what's going on in my life right now... there really isn't anything too stressful... Well... There's my mom and my brother (who is living with my mom... don't remember if I talked about that or not)... My mom is a schizophrenic... and my brother (I have two brothers... dunno if I've mentioned the other one before) has a few mental illnesses of his own, as well as being mildly retarded... And things aren't going very well with them... and I don't know what to do about it... I feel like I'm responsible for them... but I don't know what to do to make things better...

But that's been stressing me for a pretty good while now... months now... and I was doing okay, then... stressed... but not on a decline like I am now...

Otherwise, though... everything else is going good... I'm doing very well at my college... I have a steady income coming in from peer tutoring (which isn't hard on my body like my previous job was)... I'm going to get to go grocery shopping today (always good)...

Really, my biggest problem right now is this decline... I'm crying way more than I usually do (I'm very vulnerable... the slightest negative comment from someone often seems like its an attack)... I'm on edge... I've been having difficulties sleeping... I have long periods where I'm angry at myself and hate who I am... and I've been withdrawing some... been feeling like I should just stay in bed, some days...

I've been worse than this... but this still isn't a good thing... hopefully, things will get better soon... (I don't think I need a change in my antidepressant really... my medicine has been working pretty good... I think what I really need is therapy... get stuff out of my system... medicine can only correct so much)
I think I am being picked on by life, sometimes. But's that okay. Life and I are good buddies... I know life doesn't mean no harm. It just is the way it is. I can accept that.


Nanners
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 14995
   Posted 4/30/2010 1:31 PM (GMT -7)   
(((Celey))) First off I am sending you the BIGGEST cyber hug ever, I would be very proud to be your Mama. I would know then that I would have at least one good girl. I am very proud of you for keeping your school grades up and taking care of business. You should be very proud of yourself.

As for your family, don't let their troubles wear you down. You are much too young to have those kinds of pressure on you. I have a schizophrenic brother myself and I know how hard it is to deal with them sometimes. But I also can say I understand how the stress can really add to our issues. I logically know that its not my fault the way my girls are, I just need to be stronger and put my foot down and demand they treat me with respect. Sometimes easier said than done. Their words know how to really break my heart. I never would have spoken to my Mom the way they have, and don't understand why they think its okay to treat me like that.

I agree with you that meds can only do so much and think therapy is the key for both of us. I know that my therapist helped me immensley last time and hoping it goes as well this time. I hope that your appt helps give you some ideas on how to break this cycle. If you ever need to talk, just send me an email.

I don't even know you in person Celey, but I think you are the most amazing kid I know. I am so proud of you, just like a Mom would be. I will definetly keep you in my thoughts and prayers and hope the BIG GUY upstairs brings some peace and happiness to you. Because sweetie, you are one of those special people who deserves every good thing that comes their way.

Big Hugs
Gail*Nanners*
Gail*Nanners* Co-Moderator for Crohns Disease & Anxiety/Panic
Crohn's Disease for over 34 years. Currently on Asacol, Prilosec, Estrace, Prinivil, Diltiazem, Percoset prn for pain, Zofran, Phenergan, Probiotics, Calcium, Vit D, and Xanax prn. Resections in 2002 & 2005. Also diagnosed w/ Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis, & Anxiety. Currently my Crohns is in remission, but my joints are going crazy!
*Every tomorrow has two handles.  We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith"*

Celey
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 1284
   Posted 4/30/2010 2:05 PM (GMT -7)   
I have the same problem... Logically, I know things aren't my fault... and that I'm not a bad person... But... I can't seem to stop myself from thinking otherwise...

Anyway, thanks Nanners... That's really, really nice of you to say... That really makes me happy to hear that... Really makes me feel good... *I'm getting a little choked up now... //^_^\\'*

*Hugs* You're a special person, too, Nanners... I'm glad to have met you, even if it is just online. I hope your next appointment with your therapist goes well, too... and that your daughters straighten up and learn to treat you with the love and respect you deserve... They ought to be nominating you for Mom of the Year... in my opinion...

You're such a nice person... Thanks so much for your kind words and support... *Hugs, hugs*
I think I am being picked on by life, sometimes. But's that okay. Life and I are good buddies... I know life doesn't mean no harm. It just is the way it is. I can accept that.


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 4/30/2010 3:33 PM (GMT -7)   
Celey,
 
Thank your  so much for the kind words and Nanners said it all so well as she always does.  I would be proud to be your Mom, friend, or even your Grandma I suspect; whatever you need.  See you just picked up two offers for more relatives.  turn
 
Part of who I am is how I can help others due to my caregiver background.  I feel much better when I am needed.
 
Today is the one year anniversary of my sister's death and now that it is here my day has not been so bad so perhaps I am doing better.
 
You are very brave and handle the burdens life has given you with honor and diginity.  Remember always to be good to yourself first.
 
You are wise beyond your years as you said it so well about medications......................they can only do so much and we have to work with them and do our best to overcome the bumps in the road or the mountains before us.
 
Sending you gentle Hugs,
 
Kitt
 
 

Post Edited (stkitt) : 5/1/2010 7:23:33 AM (GMT-6)


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 4/30/2010 4:02 PM (GMT -7)   
Nanners,


Oh my dear friend, how my heart goes out to you and how I would like to spank those girls for not realizing what they are losing by behaving this way. No one deserves to feel abandon by their children and yet I know how being estranged from my daughter for just a week can make me feel.



I can understand why your anxiety is spiking with all that is going on but remember you are truly loved and cared for here.

There may be days when you get up in the morning and things aren't the way you had hoped they would be,
....that's when you have to tell yourself that things will get better.

There are times when people disappoint you and let you down, but those are the times when you must remind yourself to trust your own judgments and opinions, to keep your life focused on believing in yourself and all that you are capable of.

There will be challenges to face and changes to make in your life, and it is up to you to accept them.

Constantly keep yourself headed in the right direction for you. It may not be easy at times, but in those times of struggle you will find a stronger sense of who you are, So when the days come that are filled with frustration and unexpected responsibilities, remember to believe in yourself and all you want your life to be, because the challenges and changes will only help you to find the goals that you know are meant to come true for you.

Keep believing in yourself.

Gentle Hugs my friend,

Kitt

Post Edited By Moderator (Admin) : 8/23/2010 3:43:25 PM (GMT-6)


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 4/30/2010 4:07 PM (GMT -7)   
Lyn,
 
I know you had a post here and I just went to respond to it and it is gone.
 
I am sorry you are fighting the flu and also to hear that Cait has moved out.  Hope you repost.
 
Hugs,
 
Kitt

Post Edited (stkitt) : 5/1/2010 7:24:20 AM (GMT-6)


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 4/30/2010 7:20 PM (GMT -7)   
im fine getting better ty
Cait has moved out n gone back to near Strathroy
but as per norm ill carry on n pretend all is good
lyn
..Co Moderator for Crohns........Alzheimers.....Anxiety/Panic

DX..Crohns,,,A/P...Fibro...Seizures..Neuropathy...Pyoderma Gangrenosum..Deaf
MEDS.....LYRICA..DILANTIN.. PENTASA.. FOLIC ACID.. MTX..ATIVAN PRN..DIAZEPAM BID...TRAZADONE

DONATE TO www.Healing Well.com
LYN

Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 5/1/2010 11:31:28 PM (GMT-6)


Celey
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 1284
   Posted 4/30/2010 7:39 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you, Kitt... it is kind of a shame that we can't pick our family members... And yeah, I'd say your caregiver background has served you well... You also have been very helpful to me, and I really appreciate it...
I think I am being picked on by life, sometimes. But's that okay. Life and I are good buddies... I know life doesn't mean no harm. It just is the way it is. I can accept that.


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 5/1/2010 1:08 PM (GMT -7)   
csmc,
 
I agree with you as some of the people I have met over the years I was closer to then some of my blood relation.  They were truly caring and devoted more then some of the family I have had. 
 
So yes,  make good friends a part of your life if you are lucky to find ones who care about you and whom you love back in return.
 
Thank you so much for the input.
 
Gentle Hugs,
 
Kitt

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 5/1/2010 10:29 PM (GMT -7)   
Nanners so sorry to here of all you ae going thru
i wish you better days

lyn
..Co Moderator for Crohns........Alzheimers.....Anxiety/Panic

DX..Crohns,,,A/P...Fibro...Seizures..Neuropathy...Pyoderma Gangrenosum..Deaf
MEDS.....LYRICA..DILANTIN.. PENTASA.. FOLIC ACID.. MTX..ATIVAN PRN..DIAZEPAM BID...TRAZADONE

DONATE TO www.Healing Well.com
LYN


janetlee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1986
   Posted 5/1/2010 10:54 PM (GMT -7)   
Well, my anxiety hasn't been much of a problem for quite a while (thankfully!!!) and that means a lot. I'm still dealing with the same ol' issues that I was dealing with ever since I got grown, but I must live with it. I continue to worry about my Mom's health and feel pretty helpless in that regard. I am on a low-carb diet and must continue on it for life because of my diabetes and obesity. I miss my ice cream and cereal more than you could know! I still feel abandoned by my friend "Bert", but have found that I dwell on it less than I used to now, which is good. I will always be saddened by the fact that I've never been in a relationship. Like Susan Boyle, I've never been kissed! Sometimes, when I think of the possibility of losing my mom some day, it is scarier than ever because I'm going to have no one. But I try to constantly remind myself that if that day comes, I'll cross that bridge when it gets here. So life goes on and I'm still here, fretting over the same things as ever! Phooey! :)
I am sorry for my Kitt and Lyn, but am amazed by their courage and strength constantly! And I don't know Nanners so well, but she's apparently quite the fighter herself! And so many others here that do what they can to encourage and upbuild each other...how great is that, huh?!! :) So I am happy to be here and hope the best for everyone here!
jl
 


Hibee
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 6496
   Posted 5/2/2010 6:15 AM (GMT -7)   
I am all good at the moment still having problems with anxiety but looking at things in a different mind set and feeling positive about life which is great. Hoping to have a good summer and find the woman of my dreams lol. I am on a good combination of medication at the moment, 20mg escitalopram (Lexapro) 50mg Seroquel and my psychiatrist is going to add Pregabalin to help with the last bits of anxiety, has any one tried this med for anxiety?. I also found out last week that I have Aspergers Syndrome which is on the high fuctioning side of autism which has been a huge revelation and a source of relief as things finally seem to make sense after years of wondering what was happening in my life and my GAD, OCD and Depression have all been caused by Aspergers. The plan now is to dig out my CBT notes and start making things better in my life and look at things in a different light and solve any problems accordingly. I have also joined an Aspergers forum which has been good to chat to other adults with the same issue.


Take care all

Ben

Celey
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 1284
   Posted 6/10/2010 10:46 AM (GMT -7)   
I think I'm doing a little better... I had my medicine adjusted recently (is taking a higher dose of Wellbutrin now), so I think that is helping... My appointments with my therapist help...

I'm still not really up to par, though...My crying spells aren't lasting as long as they usually do, but the frequency really hasn't changed all that much... I'm still having trouble sleeping... I have a new medicine which will totally knock me out... but the problem is it's very difficult to wake up afterwards... and I feel so sleepy after I have finally woken up... It has made me miss appointments and such simply because I slept through my alarm clock (which isn't something I normally do)... So, I don't take it... Besides that, I think the problem is... I don't really want to go to sleep... So, I don't have very much energy...

Summer classes have started... that's made me feel a little better...
I think I am being picked on by life, sometimes. But's that okay. Life and I are good buddies... I know life doesn't mean no harm. It just is the way it is. I can accept that.


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 6/10/2010 1:52 PM (GMT -7)   
Celey, good to read your post. Keep on putting one step in front of the other.



I am doing so much better, not 100% but hey 80 % is a hug improvement from be mired in mud for so long this time. My new medication is working and I am able to enjoy life again.


♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸❤¸¸.•* I have climbed highest mountains, I have run through the fields.. ♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸❤¸¸.•*¨*•☆.。.•*

Post Edited By Moderator (Admin) : 8/23/2010 3:44:47 PM (GMT-6)


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 6/11/2010 4:23 AM (GMT -7)   
I kept my a/p at bay last night n yes ME ..ME.. i went out on blind date
my bro n sil came along n it was so much fun
my date has hearing aids n of course im deaf but the convo flowed as did the laughter n wow did i ever eat

hoping your day is great all
plz do post
lyn

Camylou
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 148
   Posted 6/11/2010 6:48 PM (GMT -7)   
cry  I couldn't go to work today because I had a bad panic attack.  I am so scared that I am going to lose my job!  I file FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act) paperwork but the FMLA Coordinator never seems to be satisfied with what she gets.  I saw an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) counselor on Wednesday but didn't get much from it; it was just the first visit and paperwork had to be done, etc.  I see a psychiatrist the 24th of this month to be evaluated, but that's more than a week away.  I sincerely hope they will show compassion towards me at my job and let me stay, otherwise it's Disability.  I am so, so scared right now.  Please pray for me that the Lord would show me mercy and get this 'thing' out of my head so I can work my job.

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 6/12/2010 7:12 AM (GMT -7)   
Camylou,


Thank you for sharing and you are in my prayers.



Kitt

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 6/12/2010 10:11 AM (GMT -7)   
Doing good actually
went out last night to bro house well afternnon thru late night
am making self get out more as i so despise being locked up inside the house alone 24/7
went w/o my meds with me n got thru it all just fine
tk care all n yes do post on your goings on
huggs
lyn
          CO MOD @ANXIETY/PANIC CD AND ALZHEIMERS 
              
         HV Crohns..pyoderma gangrenosum..anxiety..neuropathy...fibro
                      seizures ..totally deaf within last yr                                   
        
  meds...lyrica..valproic acid..pentasa..b 12 shots ..ativan..diazepam..dilatin  
 
       WE CAN BEAT THIS TOGETHER.......SUPPORT IS RIGHT HERE 

                                                 LYN 
                                                         
                                  
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
                                                                                                      


Bluemar
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 6/12/2010 2:34 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey, I am a new member... I decided to join because I've been dealing with depressikon, and anxiety my whole life. I was recently dumped by the father of my youngest son and all the nightmare started all over... I live in Mexico with my kids, I have no friends, no one to talk to..

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 6/12/2010 2:41 PM (GMT -7)   
Bluemar,


Welcome to HealingWell's Anxiety and Panic forum. We're glad you joined. We ask that you take the time to introduce yourself in a new thread before you begin responding to the topics already in progress. This is easily done. Simply click on the "New Topic" button and the program will open a box for you to post your intro. This will help members see your first post and extend a hand to you.



We are here for you.



Kindly,



Kitt

Camylou
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 148
   Posted 6/13/2010 12:27 PM (GMT -7)   
:-)  Bluemar, you are among friends here.  You are never alone, sweetie.  I will pray for you and your situation, and may the peace of Almighty God be with you.
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