Finished talking with my therapist not too long ago... I feel like I've made some progress... My therapist has talked to me about PTSD... And she thinks I am matching up with a lot of the symptoms... She said we're going to take things slow... And that next appointment we might try doing a "trauma narrative"... She's trying to get me in to see my psychiatrist sooner... Until then, she's made a list of things I can do to help myself... *She seemed pretty impressed that there's already a lot of things that I do to try to help myself get through this kind of thing*
1. Deep breathing (to keep myself calm)
2. Writing stories (I write stories as a hobby, which I told her... And while I already knew that I'm probably subconsciously being driven by my feelings while I write... I didn't realize exactly how much I was working through my problems with my story ideas. She picked up on it right away when I was telling her about my story ideas, though...)
3. Short walks (endorphins... it's good cardiovascular exercise, too... and may help me get more energy)
4. New message to self: "I can conquer the flood." (I described my guilt as being like a flood...)
5. Focus on thinking: Switch internal dialogue from "I feel, I should, I should have, etc." to "I think I can ignore the feeling for now."
6. If you want, keep a dream journal
7. Study (Finals week is next week... She wants me to do well)
At least, I got some kind of focused direction to go in now...
I think I am being picked on by life, sometimes. But's that okay. Life and I are good buddies... I know life doesn't mean no harm. It just is the way it is. I can accept that.