lost useless or simply helpless

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daffy
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2004
Total Posts : 100
   Posted 5/13/2010 12:01 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi, dont even remember if I ever posted on this site before so here goes, I am a wife of 36 yrs mother of 3 grandma of 5 been disabled for 6yrs for my crohns got the best of me. In  those 6 yrs developed fibro,neuropathy,joint pain,well actually Ive had crohns more than 30+ so its all taken a toll and when I quit work for lack of control and pain I guess I slowed down enough to see just how sick i was. I have always as far back as I remember had panic attacks just blamed it on something and moved on. I started seeing a therapist a shrink and got meds about 2 yrs ago, went from lexapro to prestiq and also aprazsolam, I quit drinking 5 yrs ago quit smoking 2 months ago, had major surgery 5 mo. ago I now have a colostomy for life and a barbie butt so no more butt pain,lol and now I am having more panic attacks that I cant control, depression anxiety want to be alone hide in my bed and not get up, like my world is caving in around me, I supposed to be doing better not worse, I used to be strong took care of everything and everyone in my family now I feel like an idiot who cant make a dicision thats where I am at right now maybe tomorrow I have some brains thanks for letting me vent on here it helps to right it down
Take Care and God Bless, Daffy


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 5/13/2010 1:30 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi
yes i can relate very much so
since becoming totally deaf i hv become a shell of myself n dont like going out
i am not the fun loving out doors person my daughter use to hv
i lost me
i am determined to find my way back n i know you very well can too
isolation lonliness goes hand in hand with a/p n depression its a vicious cycle
BUT we need to break this cycle at some point because we do deserve to live our lives fully
our kids need us very much n they can see what this is doing
my daughter has suffered enough
i will take my life back
i know i will for me n for her
i really get your pain n anguish
plz do keep posting n im sure others will be along
tk care n know we are here

lyn
..Co Moderator for Crohns........Alzheimers.....Anxiety/Panic

DX..Crohns,,,A/P...Fibro...Seizures..Neuropathy...Pyoderma Gangrenosum..Deaf
MEDS.....LYRICA..DILANTIN.. PENTASA.. FOLIC ACID.. MTX..ATIVAN PRN..DIAZEPAM BID...TRAZADONE

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LYN


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 5/13/2010 2:53 PM (GMT -7)   
daffy,


Hi, this is Kitt [img]/community/emoticons/smile.gif[/img] . I know where your coming from and what you going through. Like Lyn, I have had major events in my life and have gone through anxiety like a Hot Fudge Sundae. I have been up and down and really good much of the time. I have major depressive disorder and I find this is the bad part of Anxiety and Depression.



You are not and idiot. I understand your feelings exactly as I used to think of myself and strong and unflappable but the mental health issues made me lose so much self esteem that I had to learn and keep learning that I am a good person and I am worthy. I have a hubby with Crohn's and do not judge him like I do myself so I am working hard at accepting that, yes, I have anxiety but it does not have me.



For me therapy and medication and learning to love myself have been helpful. I also am alone much of the time and find it hard to just get out. I let my kids and husband help me just as I have helped and support them always.



Take care and keep on talking with us.



Gentle Hugs,



Kitt

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 5/13/2010 3:34 PM (GMT -7)   
We can beat this together we can
i just took a walk out to grocery store didnt really need anything but it was a agoal i had set for self for today
mind you i was supposed to go way way earlier but my feet n mind just couldnt wrap around it til i thought of what Kitt posted ...we have anxiety n panic..it doesnt have us
i finally got out n i feel great for doing so
i need to get me back
you have friends n supportes that do get it
i know KITT N I DO so do others
keep posting
lyn

Old Hippy
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 104
   Posted 5/16/2010 3:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Daffy, as long as you stay connected to people such as the ones who come to this forum--you will be alright... You have to believe that you are not a lesser person because of a disability, or illness... As a society, we have< for decades> been brainwashed to believe that a disability=weakness; especially one that is psychologically-rooted. I realize that times are changing, but the "stigma" lives on, and do not let their ignorance rule your life. We are here for you to vent to, provide a shoulder to lean on, and a cyber hug to embrace. Keep posting, take care...

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 5/16/2010 6:10 PM (GMT -7)   
HEY HIPPY
you are an asset n great friend to many here
thank you for your input to me n others
huggs
lyn
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