lost useless or simply helpless

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Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2004
Total Posts : 100
   Posted 5/13/2010 2:01 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi, dont even remember if I ever posted on this site before so here goes, I am a wife of 36 yrs mother of 3 grandma of 5 been disabled for 6yrs for my crohns got the best of me. In  those 6 yrs developed fibro,neuropathy,joint pain,well actually Ive had crohns more than 30+ so its all taken a toll and when I quit work for lack of control and pain I guess I slowed down enough to see just how sick i was. I have always as far back as I remember had panic attacks just blamed it on something and moved on. I started seeing a therapist a shrink and got meds about 2 yrs ago, went from lexapro to prestiq and also aprazsolam, I quit drinking 5 yrs ago quit smoking 2 months ago, had major surgery 5 mo. ago I now have a colostomy for life and a barbie butt so no more butt pain,lol and now I am having more panic attacks that I cant control, depression anxiety want to be alone hide in my bed and not get up, like my world is caving in around me, I supposed to be doing better not worse, I used to be strong took care of everything and everyone in my family now I feel like an idiot who cant make a dicision thats where I am at right now maybe tomorrow I have some brains thanks for letting me vent on here it helps to right it down
Take Care and God Bless, Daffy

Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 5/13/2010 3:30 PM (GMT -6)   
yes i can relate very much so
since becoming totally deaf i hv become a shell of myself n dont like going out
i am not the fun loving out doors person my daughter use to hv
i lost me
i am determined to find my way back n i know you very well can too
isolation lonliness goes hand in hand with a/p n depression its a vicious cycle
BUT we need to break this cycle at some point because we do deserve to live our lives fully
our kids need us very much n they can see what this is doing
my daughter has suffered enough
i will take my life back
i know i will for me n for her
i really get your pain n anguish
plz do keep posting n im sure others will be along
tk care n know we are here

..Co Moderator for Crohns........Alzheimers.....Anxiety/Panic

DX..Crohns,,,A/P...Fibro...Seizures..Neuropathy...Pyoderma Gangrenosum..Deaf

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Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 5/13/2010 4:53 PM (GMT -6)   

Hi, this is Kitt [img]/community/emoticons/smile.gif[/img] . I know where your coming from and what you going through. Like Lyn, I have had major events in my life and have gone through anxiety like a Hot Fudge Sundae. I have been up and down and really good much of the time. I have major depressive disorder and I find this is the bad part of Anxiety and Depression.

You are not and idiot. I understand your feelings exactly as I used to think of myself and strong and unflappable but the mental health issues made me lose so much self esteem that I had to learn and keep learning that I am a good person and I am worthy. I have a hubby with Crohn's and do not judge him like I do myself so I am working hard at accepting that, yes, I have anxiety but it does not have me.

For me therapy and medication and learning to love myself have been helpful. I also am alone much of the time and find it hard to just get out. I let my kids and husband help me just as I have helped and support them always.

Take care and keep on talking with us.

Gentle Hugs,


Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 5/13/2010 5:34 PM (GMT -6)   
We can beat this together we can
i just took a walk out to grocery store didnt really need anything but it was a agoal i had set for self for today
mind you i was supposed to go way way earlier but my feet n mind just couldnt wrap around it til i thought of what Kitt posted ...we have anxiety n panic..it doesnt have us
i finally got out n i feel great for doing so
i need to get me back
you have friends n supportes that do get it
i know KITT N I DO so do others
keep posting

Old Hippy
Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 104
   Posted 5/16/2010 5:48 PM (GMT -6)   
Daffy, as long as you stay connected to people such as the ones who come to this forum--you will be alright... You have to believe that you are not a lesser person because of a disability, or illness... As a society, we have< for decades> been brainwashed to believe that a disability=weakness; especially one that is psychologically-rooted. I realize that times are changing, but the "stigma" lives on, and do not let their ignorance rule your life. We are here for you to vent to, provide a shoulder to lean on, and a cyber hug to embrace. Keep posting, take care...

Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 5/16/2010 8:10 PM (GMT -6)   
you are an asset n great friend to many here
thank you for your input to me n others
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