worst week ever - very upset :-(

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Regular Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 77
   Posted 6/12/2010 10:50 AM (GMT -6)   
things have been really bad again. I want to cry. I have been having bad panic and anxiety again, and i just want to vent.

I was doing so well, i had moved to London and got into the uni i wanted. But the uni was nothing like it was supposed to be - we only had one class a week (that lasted an hour) and 3 tutorials a term; some of which, my tutor just didn't turn up for. So i decided this wasn't right for me and dropped out in April. However, because i dropped out, the student loan company made me pay back close to £2000 upfront, which has competely broke me.

Just days after paying back the money last week, i was forced to take my old job back caring for people with dementia at a residential home - which i hate because the other workers there are horrible both to me, each other, and the residents! I agreed to do a 58 hour working week because i need the money so desperetly. On one of my very few spare moments i took a walk in the park with a friend - it was summery and light even though it was 9:30pm - i just needed to breathe - there was other people about - but i got mugged at knife point by 4 teenage boys! They didn't get anything, i fought my ground and managed to get away far enough from them to call the police and they ran off scared - but it really shook me up.

THEN, there was a big out break at the care home of a sickness bug, and i've ended up getting it. I have a massive vomit phobia so the last two days have been horrid for me.

The only thing is, i feel like i should be feeling better by now, but my stomach still feels very sore and tight, and i don't have much of an appertite. I'm so worried because this is what happened last time. I was under a lot of stress, then i got ill, something that should only have last a few days - but i never got better - and it turned out i'd become agoraphobic and had an anxiety break down - what if that's happened again? What if this stomach discomfort is all in my mind? It could take years to sort out again - i can't bear that.

Sorry this was so long, i just don't know what to do :-( cry

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1986
   Posted 6/12/2010 12:39 PM (GMT -6)   
Take a good series of deep breaths.....take a long relaxing bath.
Now about school. Have you checked into taking something else? It's a thought. The first attempt didn't work out, but don't mean another would not.
about your workplace, could you try to find a different job, working there until you did? And if you can be an advocate for the residents, that would be great and help you get your mind off of your own problems for a bit. Let your co-workers know that you'll stand your ground as you did with the muggers! Empower yourself!
As to the muggers, just keep remembering that you are OK and made it through a very tough situation.
As regards to your stomach, I think you've possibly been so tense over the illness and everything else that your muscles are tight!
I believe you should go to a psychiatrist and tell him/her what's going on and ward this off as best you can. Don't suffer alone! get help NOW.
Keep us posted!

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 6/12/2010 12:40 PM (GMT -6)   

Good Afternoon and I am sorry to hear your feeling ill. I know you have had a lot of anxiety in the past and I believe it was back in March that you were having spikes in your anxiety.

May I ask what helped you get through your anxiety back then?

Everyone gets worried sometimes, but if you have generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), worries and fears are so constant that they interfere with your ability to function and relax. You may worry excessively about things that are unlikely to happen, or feel tense and anxious all day long with no real reason. This anxiety takes a physical toll, too. Your body aches, you can’t sleep, and you’re exhausted all the time. This is probably why you are not bouncing back from your sickness bug. The good news is that generalized anxiety disorder is treatable. Many things can help, including self-help strategies and therapy.

Learning to deal with your worry and anxiety in more productive ways is a good place to start. This may involve challenging irrational worrisome thoughts, learning how to postpone worrying, and learning to accept uncertainty in your life. Try not to assume that you will have a break down like you had in the past. Think positive and work through the anxiety.



Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 6/12/2010 9:00 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi there
i totally agree do not think or assume you will go bk to where you were
i remember some of your issues from back then n you hv come so far
DONT let them get to u at work hun nor the ones that mugged you
its hard i know but i also know you are alot stronger thanu were when u first came here
as Kitt always says....kick the what ifs to the curb....
we r here for you
know that

Regular Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 77
   Posted 6/13/2010 11:52 AM (GMT -6)   
just knowing i had replies helped me so much, you have no idea how much this site has helped me over the past few years.

I deffinetly agree Janetlee - i have enrolled to start school here in my home town in October which means i'll be closer to my family and everything should be better with that course i think.

I think you're right that i should go and visit my doctor again and say i need more help - i am completely off meds at the moment. The only trouble is they are so quick to try and get rid of you here because of the NHS - they just say sweeping statements like "try and spend more time with your friends and forget about it" so they can get you out and get the next person in. I think your right though, i just have to stand my ground with all these things.

I am already feeling a lot better today. Thank you for your support.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1986
   Posted 6/13/2010 12:40 PM (GMT -6)   
I am so glad that you are feeling some better! And I am happy that you plan to go back to the doctor. YES! STAND YOUR GROUND! They seldom know from their own personal experience how it feels to suffer from anxiety and such! If only they could deal with it for one week or even one day, maybe they'd be more compassionate! Anyway, you are your only advocate in this situation, so be firm with them!
Keep your eyes focused on the future and work on getting out of your current situation. I am so thankful you are doing better!

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