Even though the United States offers some of the best medical care in the world, your health care provider won't do all of the work for you. Part of the responsibility for getting what you need is up to you. You may need to do your own homework; know what questions to ask, and what answers to look for. This process is known as advocating. I am a true believer in advocating for myself but I also know that I need to have a warm and trusting relationship with my physicians and therapist. This is something that takes work on both sides.
If you do not find someone you trust perhaps finding a new physician will serve you well.
As far as telling my Dr. what works, when a med poops out or I am not doing well I have no idea on what to tell my Dr. to do. That is why I seek out the help of a professional. If I knew what to do I would not need the help of professionals.
Just my 2 cents worth this morning :) Remember That You Are Not Alone !