Intrusive thoughts?

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laurar
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 730
   Posted 6/23/2010 7:07 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi everyone,

Its been a looooooong time (i.e. years) since I last visited the Healingwell forum. My anxiety has mostly been under control for a while and I've been doing great. However, I recently relocated to another state, started a new job, and have moved twice in the last 3 months. Needless to say, if my anxiety was ever going to flare up it would be now, lol!

I'm mostly ok but keep have one recurring thought and am wondering if all of you can help me identify whether its just an "intrusive" one, or one that I should pay closer attention to. The thought is, "What if I am gay?" Each time I think it, it is followed by a surge of panic throughout my body. I was raised in a very homophobic family. I myself have no issues with people of differing sexual orientation and have a number of friends who are either gay or ***.

I should explain that I have always identified as heterosexual and had relationships with people of the opposite sex. I'm definitely attracted to men (I'm female). I haven't experienced any feelings of attraction to any specific woman, but I've noticed lately that I get the thought around women and then I freak out. I suspect this is just my strange, strange mind playing a trick on me. What do you all think?

Any thoughts on this?
Diagnosed Ulcerative Pancolitis

Probiotics
Fish Oil
Vitamin C
Slippery Elm
TURMERIC!!!


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 6/23/2010 9:29 PM (GMT -7)   
HI
hoping i can help in a small way
i think you are more able to relate to the female person
i cant say if your gay or not
that is truly something you need to find out
i really do feel your dilemma n pain as well
i know others will post to you n prob with much netter input than i did
just needed to let you know you are being heard
hugs
lyn
                 Co Mod for... CROHNS..ANXIETY/ PANIC.....ALZHEIMERS
        DX.. a/p ....crohns ...fibro... pyoderma gangrenosum..seizures....deaf
            meds..lyrica..pentasa...valproic acid..ativan...diazepam....t 3 s prn
                  Help HEALING WELL...DONATE...www.HealingWell.com
                        WE CAN N WILL GET THRU THIS TOGETHER
                                                   LYN                       


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 6/24/2010 6:30 AM (GMT -7)   
laurar,

It is good to hear from you again and yes, it has been a long time, 2 years. I am glad to hear you have been doing well until this bump in the road.

When the social taboos are removed from discussions about gender and non-heterosexuality, your situation sounds a little less charged.

The only person who can answer your question, "Am I gay," is you. Sometimes, the only way to find out what really turns you on is to explore your feelings in search of inner peace.
Identities can also change over time. There are people who once identified as straight, and later decided they were gay. There are people who tried being gay for a while, and found it didn'’t work and went on to choose to be in relationships with members of the opposite sex. Having embraced one identity does not mean it has to be for life, as all of us are growing, changing and looking at ourselves and our world in new and different ways.

Choices can lead to a better understanding of who you are and miles of personal growth. Remember how important it is to look out for yourself, your goals, desires, and right to learn more about who you are. The road to inner peace isn't always easy and smooth, but it is worth the journey.

Big breathe and know you will be OK. We are here to support you.

Kindly,

Kitt

laurar
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 730
   Posted 6/24/2010 7:10 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you for the responses and advice. I guess this one will take some soul searching on my part. Who knows? Moving to a new location always shakes things up for me and I often don't know where things will fall into place once the dust settles. Either way, I feel more calm about the whole thing this morning.

Have a great day everyone!
Diagnosed Ulcerative Pancolitis

Probiotics
Fish Oil
Vitamin C
Slippery Elm
TURMERIC!!!


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 6/24/2010 8:15 AM (GMT -7)   
great to know u feel better
kitt gv some great advice
keep us posted
lyn
                 Co Mod for... CROHNS..ANXIETY/ PANIC.....ALZHEIMERS
        DX.. a/p ....crohns ...fibro... pyoderma gangrenosum..seizures....deaf
            meds..lyrica..pentasa...valproic acid..ativan...diazepam....t 3 s prn
                  Help HEALING WELL...DONATE...www.HealingWell.com
                        WE CAN N WILL GET THRU THIS TOGETHER
                                                   LYN                       

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