It is good to hear from you again and yes, it has been a long time, 2 years. I am glad to hear you have been doing well until this bump in the road.
When the social taboos are removed from discussions about gender and non-heterosexuality, your situation sounds a little less charged.
The only person who can answer your question, "Am I gay," is you. Sometimes, the only way to find out what really turns you on is to explore your feelings in search of inner peace.
Identities can also change over time. There are people who once identified as straight, and later decided they were gay. There are people who tried being gay for a while, and found it didn'’t work and went on to choose to be in relationships with members of the opposite sex. Having embraced one identity does not mean it has to be for life, as all of us are growing, changing and looking at ourselves and our world in new and different ways.
Choices can lead to a better understanding of who you are and miles of personal growth. Remember how important it is to look out for yourself, your goals, desires, and right to learn more about who you are. The road to inner peace isn't always easy and smooth, but it is worth the journey.
Big breathe and know you will be OK. We are here to support you.