What you are expressing sounds like deep depression. I was in deep depression before and all I wanted to do was stay in bed and be alone. I felt helpless and hopeless and like there was no way out. It was sort of like drowning and it was taking all I had in me to keep my head above water and not go under. I was also dealing with extreme anxiety at the time. After I was prescribed Zoloft and xanax, I started getting better.
Some years later, I started feeling very depressed again, but as I found out, this time it was caused by the medication Propranolol, which I was on to help fight panic attacks. As soon as I got off of it, the depression disappeared.
People need tyo realize that depression and anxiety can both be problems caused by chemical imbalances in the brain. They do not make a person a bad person. They do not mean a person is being punished by God or that God is angry with them. Like problems caused by faulty organs, such as the heart, lungs, kidneys, etc., the brain gets off-balance sometimes too. No shame in it. I wish more people would do like you and ask questions. That's the best way to understand!