New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

panicman62
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 23
   Posted 7/18/2010 2:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi folks-
 
It has been a long time since I was here.
 
Some of you like howlyncat,  know that I did say goodbye to my precious wife Barb this past December 18th. 
 
She became quite ill with lupus and went to the Lord on that night.  This horrible affliction attacked her kidneys, they shut down, she was put on dialysis, which she hated with a passion, and other things started to happen.
 
The afternoon of the 18th, she suffered a subarachnoid hemmorhage.  She was in critical condition until her departure that night.
 
It has been the most horrible time of my life, but both of us being Christians, I know I will see Barb again one glorious day in heaven.  God has helped me day by day in my grief journey.   The healing process is slow, but is happening gradually.
 
I hope all of you are okay and if not, will be feeling better soon.
 
God bless all,
 
Tony

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 7/18/2010 3:23 PM (GMT -7)   
Dear Tony,

My heartfelt sympathy on the loss of your Barb. I know you had a great marriage and loved her so much. I don't think I can fully comprehend what a profound loss you are going through having not lost a spouse but I do send you my prayers and talk with us here about your feelings if you feel comfortable.

Kindly,

Kitt

panicman62
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 23
   Posted 7/18/2010 3:28 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello Kitt-

Thanks so very much. We were so very blessed. That's true. Neither of us had ever married before being brought together by a loving God fairly late in life. We knew each other for nearly 17 years, almost 14 of those in marriage. Our backgrounds were like mirror images. We knew early on that God had chosen us for each other. We would even have the same thoughts and start to say the same thing at the same time!

We were so much a part of each other. A great part of my heart went with Barb when she left.
We had really no social life except for church mostly. We were each other's life.

Again, my heartfelt thanks for your kind words and prayers.

Hugs,

Tony

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 7/18/2010 3:54 PM (GMT -7)   
Tony,

I remember your posts about Barb and how good and kind she was and how you took care of each other. She will live forever in your heart.

Blessings,
Kitt

panicman62
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 23
   Posted 7/18/2010 4:24 PM (GMT -7)   

Oh yes, Kitt.  She was an angel who spoiled me rotten! :-)

She truly is in my heart til I see her in heaven.  My once-in-a-lifetime soulmate.

Thanks again &

Hugs-

 

 

 


panicman62
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 23
   Posted 7/18/2010 5:41 PM (GMT -7)   
Here is Barb's online obituary.

The picture you see of my precious baby, I made a few years ago after she had just got a new hairdo.


panicman62
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 23
   Posted 7/18/2010 5:48 PM (GMT -7)   
I had a picture of us on our wedding day, but the image feature won't work.

Sorry.

panicman62
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 23
   Posted 7/18/2010 5:51 PM (GMT -7)   
Ah!  Here we are... January 20th, 1996.
 
 
Is she a beautiful angel or what!
 
I thank God for loaning her to me for those 17 (total) years of happiness and joy.
 

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 7/19/2010 7:20 AM (GMT -7)   
Good Morning Tony and thank you for sharing the wonderful picture of you and Barb on your wedding day.

I read the info from the funeral home and her obituary was written very well. I did not know she was just a bit older then I am. So young in my opinion. What a warm and beautiful face and I know how much you miss her. To have lost her just before Christmas must have made last year"s Christmas so very sad for you.

Do keep reaching out to your friends both here and in your church to help you as you mourn your beautiful Barb.

Healing prayers,

Kitt

panicman62
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 23
   Posted 7/19/2010 7:55 AM (GMT -7)   
Good morning, Kitt-

You're so welcome for the picture.

Yes, my angel had a face that showed her love and caring. You could literally see Jesus in everything she said or did. He sent me the very best angel on earth!

So true about Barb being young. We would have been married 14 years had she made it to January 20th. She would have been 66 Feb. 4th. This has been the most horrible year of my entire life.

Oh me, Christmas, I wasn't even here. I was buried in a deep grief fog. I went out to a friend's house out of town for Christmas Day. She had several others there. I hardly remember that day. I do remember fighting off crying the whole time I was there. It was extremely miserable.
I had bought Barb a cross pendant for Christmas. She never got to see it, but wore it in the casket. I couldn't afford a cemetery plot, so much against my beliefs, I had to have her remains cremated. I have them in a pretty urn on the shelf in the living room. In a way, that is good. If I want to hold it, walk with it and cry my heart out, I can any time. Crying is a challenge now. I have these dumb neurological problems. Yesterday I had cried some, and an hour or two later, I started having an occasional vibration near or in my left ear. Now, I feel scared to cry anymore. It's always something.

But the past seven months have been the worst and most lonely of my entire life. To top this off, the little pet bird we bought only 3 months after we married, died about 3 weeks ago! All I needed! Having no kids, he was a child to us. Babycake was such good companionship after my Barb went Home. Now I don't even have him.

Well, I have vented more than I thought I would, but the pain just lingers, though I have come a long way since Barb left. I went through a grief class for six weeks, and have been in counseling for my grief which has helped tremendously.

Thanks for those precious prayers, Kitt. I deeply appreciate them all.

Tony

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 7/19/2010 8:33 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Tony
am glad you reached out n came back to your family here to help get you thru this
i truly do understand yr pain
im so sorry my friend
blessings
lyn
                 Co Mod for... CROHNS..ANXIETY/ PANIC.....ALZHEIMERS
        DX.. a/p ....crohns ...fibro... pyoderma gangrenosum..seizures....deaf
            meds..lyrica..pentasa...valproic acid..ativan...diazepam....t 3 s prn
                  Help HEALING WELL...DONATE...www.HealingWell.com
                        WE CAN N WILL GET THRU THIS TOGETHER
                                                   LYN                       


panicman62
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 23
   Posted 7/19/2010 8:46 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Lyn!

I am glad I came back too. You guys will always be like family to me.

Thanks so much, Lyn.

Big Hugs,

Tony
New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Monday, December 05, 2016 11:59 AM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,733,061 posts in 301,078 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151233 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, Blazenky.
360 Guest(s), 15 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
alephnull, Georgia Hunter, Blazenky, NiceGuyEddie, ArtAngel, mrs. george, pmm73, NewDay, omar brarou, JackH, hatter15, joee, Graytech, iPoop, Peter A


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer