It feels to me like you are experiencing Anticipatory Anxiety re the "what if's" when you go outside to run or walk.
Anticipatory anxiety is the anxiety one experiences before starting a challenging activity. Most often, anticipatory anxiety is a lot higher than what you actually end up experiencing. I am going to post some safety ideas for you to consider to help you get back out and do what you like to do ~ run !
Try to get a running partner.
Take a whistle with you.
Do not wear a radio/headset/earphones or anything which distracts you so that you are completely aware of your environment.
Avoid unpopular areas, deserted streets, lonely trails - and especially avoid unlighted routes at night.
Vary the route and time of day you run.
Always stay alert. The more aware you are, the less vulnerable you are. Think about possible escape routes in case of a confrontation.
Take notice of who is ahead of you and who is behind you. Know where the nearest public sites are with some general activity - there is usually safety in numbers.
When in doubt, follow your intuition and avoid potential trouble. If something seems suspicious, do not panic, but run in a different direction.
Run clear of parked cars, bushes, dark areas.
Run against traffic so that you can observe the approach of automobiles.
If the same car cruises past you more than once, take down even a partial license number and make it obvious that you are aware of its presence (but keep your distance)
Carry your cell phone.
Use discretion in acknowledging strangers. Be friendly, but keep your distance and keep moving.
Do not approach a car to give directions, or the time of day. Point toward the nearest police or information source, shrug your shoulders, but keep moving. If you feel you must respond, do it while moving.
I am a walker and live in the country but I drive into town and walk the sidewalks in a busy residential area. Walking on a county highways on the shoulder of the road scares me even though I see many people out walking done the road alone, sometimes at dusk and I hope they will be safe.
I hope this helps you get back out there but remember to take babysteps. Please know we care.