I have had a long off-the-record string of depression on and off over the last few years and during this time, work has been a problem as I have lost lots of IT contracting jobs due to being off ill - mainly due to getting subcontiously stressed and anxious - of which I don't seem to have any control.
IBS has been a big factor which gets affected with stress. I like doing IT work - this is what I know but with not much of this being around the very thought of doing something else really scares me so much, in fact im petrified about working in another line of work and even if I were offered a job somewhere (not in IT) I don't think I would be able to turn up or I would go and hide in the toilets etc. I cant get my mind to think differently about this and it has become a right cause for concern.
I went to a party @ some friends house last night and I really found it so very difficult to interact with people and get into conversation - I was just sitting on my own and wish I had not gone.
I am not sure what to do as my family think I don't have these depressive tendencies anymore as I went through a major depression back in 2005/2006.
I have been feeling down and anxious for a while tho.
I also seem to have very poor concentration and find it difficult to get things done.