Medication to prevent situational crying?

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batgrl
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Date Joined Aug 2010
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   Posted 8/18/2010 4:03 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm not sure if this is the right section but i figured people familiar with anxiety problems might be familiar with some solutions.
 
There are specific triggers that can predictably make me cry. If I'm talking about something I find threatening to someone who holds power over me, then I'm likely to start crying. For example, if I'm talking to my boss about my job performance. It's terribly embarrassing and causes me to avoid talking about subjects that I know could be triggers. But avoidance is often unrealistic or makes things worse. I also don't want to blame it on allergies or anything insincere.
 
I was wondering if there's a medication out there that can prevent me from crying when I know that I'm going to face a potential situation later in the day.
 
I'm not interested in advice related to the therapeutic nature of crying, or about coming to terms with the reason for crying. I understand that crying has its time and place. Unfortunately crying in front of my boss is never appropriate, and understanding why I cry isn't going to help me stop crying. I just need a pill or something. Any suggestions?
 
PS, My boss isn't that bad, it's just an example I'm using.

stkitt
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   Posted 8/18/2010 4:19 PM (GMT -7)   
 
This feels to me more like a problem that would benefit from therapy and learning ways to control your anxiety not a medication that can stop your anxiety in specific situations.  I am sorry your not interested in therapy.

~~Kitt~~
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Fugs
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   Posted 8/19/2010 11:11 AM (GMT -7)   
It would be great if you could just take a pill and get that immediate relief. But by exploring why you cry (looking for themes for instance) you may be able to cry less often or move towards crying in more social appropriate moments. For instance, instead of crying in front of your boss you can hold off until you get in your car or get home. Medication might be more appropriate if you're also dealing with depression, which could certainly lead towards a person crying.

Therapy might not solve things right away, but the sooner you start the sooner you'll see results.

Scaredy Cat
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   Posted 8/21/2010 10:08 AM (GMT -7)   
I agree with Kitt and Fugs-therapy is a better and long term solution. Is it possible that you struggle with social anxiety? Flushing, crying, becoming easily embarassed are all telling signs. Many people suffer from this and don't realize it. It sometimes has been going on so long (from childhood for example) that these things seem normal. There are some great books on the subject-check
amazon, or the library. Good luck with this problem! I also cry when faced w/ overwhelming emotional situations-It's embarassing:0
Scaredy Cat
"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

Howlyncat
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   Posted 8/21/2010 11:34 AM (GMT -7)   
Really
think you should give therapy a go
i honestly do not think there is a majic pill to stop your crying as you had hoped
keep us poste plz
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slowpanic
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   Posted 8/21/2010 9:45 PM (GMT -7)   
I agree there is probably not a magic pill. I think sometimes we just have all these emotions and when you talk about job performance and there's a chance there is constructive criticisms that will come, it overwhelms you. Yes, therapy can help you figure out the "whys" possibly.

You might also consider preparing yourself in advance. Fears are less scary if we think the process through when possible. You have a job evaluation, before the event, write out what you do well in your job and the "improvement needed " that might come up. It will also give you time to see the improvement needed from a self view--we all know we aren't perfect and there are areas in every job we need to do better. By facing it before you talk to your boss, you can also line up "how I plan to improve in this area". By seeing all the facts in black and white, it doesn't look so overwhelming or fearful, and maybe will lessen some of the emotional display. Sometimes in preparation you can think of a funny name for yourself and if you find yourself tearing up, start saying it in your head over and over! It might help block out some of the emotions. Worth a try!

It may also booster your self confidence that you know you aren't perfect and that is okay because you have a plan to improve. It is a slow process to be comfortable with confrontations like job evaluations, disagreements with company policy or unreasonable demands by employer. It is indeed an emotional time and that is okay. BUT by overcoming even a little bit, and doing it "ok" one time, you find that you can do it and gain confidence. It may never be easy but it probably isn't for anyone, some just hold their tears in better.

A counselor may be able to help you find out the root of the cause, if there is one or help you with techniques to lessen the anxiety. It's great to know your weakness and to want to change it.

grainofsalt
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Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 215
   Posted 8/28/2010 11:57 PM (GMT -7)   
I used to be on valium for anxiety/night terrors (its been switched to a low dose of klonopin which works much better), and back then I had to specific incidents in which I went into an absolute hysterical crying spell. One of those nervous breakdowns in which you want to throw up, can't breathe, and this water flows for about 60 to 90 minutes. Both times that happened to me, I took 20 mgs of valium, and that brought my panic attack gushing to a slow roar of somber tears. Anti anxiety medications would probably help here, but that is something you really need to talk to a doctor about. Remember that anti anxiety medication can be a great help when used in moderation, but it can cause rebound anxiety and depression when overused.

I know you want to knock the therapy thing, but it could be as simple as going to one trusted person. THAT could be your therapy. As I said, I think this is a situation you should see a doctor about.
MRI revealed a bulging disc w/gel lost at L5 and showed the bulge touching nerves, causing sciatica. Diagnosed w/ Arthritis which is responsible for joint inflamation pain. Treatment: Nucynta 50-150 mgs every 6 hours (schedule II narcotic, Mu Opoid agonist and NE reuptake inhibitor), Celebrex 100 mgs, Klonopin .5, Epidurals, Radio Freq nuerotomy (sept 8th, 2010)

really?
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   Posted 1/9/2012 2:28 PM (GMT -7)   
Really? everyone gave the advice that she SPECIFICALLY asked NOT to be given.  Therapy and the advice of just wait to cry do not work.  If you are a person who cries easily that is not going to change much.  Unfortunately to make a change or take a pill you would have to see a therapist to get it prescribed.  I feel your pain.  I wish that I could just take a testosterone pill or something so that I don't ever have to cry in front of people again. 

Scaredy Cat
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Date Joined Sep 2006
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   Posted 1/9/2012 2:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi really? and welcome.

We advised her the way that we did because there is no pill that will do what she wanted it to do...also, having come out of the experience of therapy on the other side, we know that it is the core issue that needs to be addressed, not just the symptom.

We were not trying to ignore her wishes, so much as point her in the right direction. I am sorry if it came across as unhelpful. We do our best to advise in the best way we can.

Welcome to the A/P and please feel free to post anytime with questions or sharing. We are here to help and support.:)

Scaredy Cat
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"It is when we are most lost that we sometimes find our truest friends"

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

OnTop_OfIt
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Date Joined May 2014
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   Posted 5/5/2014 10:56 AM (GMT -7)   
Wow. This just goes to show that people really don't understand. I have this issue too. I am very healthy, successful, great family, no depression issues, nothing bad has happened to me - probably an abnormally lucky person. But I cry very easily. If I am reading a book to my child and the underdog wins, I cry. I actually tend to cry on happy things - when I realize that someone did something kind, I cry; or when my boss shows he cares along with any other person that shows anyone that they care - I cry. In my mind there is no problem and the crying is very brief and then no thought is given to that situation again. When in true trouble - pretty rare - I actually tend to be very logical and very analytical. (I am an engineer, afterall) But I have the exact same problem as the person described. I get in situations where I will have to stop speaking altogether in order to hold back my voice that has disappeared (will come out squeaky) or outright tears in my eyes. When this happens, I know it is emotional, but totally not worth the tears. I would compare it to quicker-than-normal release of tears during PMS, except that all the other feelings such as anxiety, sadness, (and pain) are not part of this everyday crying disorder. It feels like it is so unreal that something must just be in imbalance. I have considered hormone therapy, but since I only have this one symptom, I don't know that I am ready to take something that may give me other side effects. It is a fact in my life that when I go without sleep for extended periods of time, it is almost a sure thing that I will cry for absolutely no reason when the slightest thing comes up. So I try to get my sleep. But that also tells me that my body produces something that controls this and it produces it when I sleep.

I'm sure this person feels the same way I do about this. It is something that can really be defeating at work in our high profile jobs (I work with governments around the world). Yes, it is controllable, but to control it, we must hold back or change our course of action which, in turn, undermines what we are trying to accomplish. It can - many times- make us react inappropriately because we know what to do but cannot do it and end up doing nothing. Nothing is considered a choice and has a meaning - not the meaning that we wanted to present.

I hope that someone understands and there is a better answer than what people have responded above. People know themselves. If they say they just need a pill and therapy isn't going to help, it isn't necessarily because they are in denial. If you have a problem, you will do anything to resolve it. But if you have lived with it for a long time, you know enough that it is chemically driven and behavior may not be the answer.

ANewDay1
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Date Joined Oct 2014
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 10/6/2014 12:26 PM (GMT -7)   
I to find it VERY disappointing that everyone suggested therapy rather than a legitimate solution to a case by case situation. I too have this issue. Whether it's a performance review, addressing a problem with a coworker or unsatisfactory service by a service provider or dealing with my ex, it's always the same although some situations are more challenging to maintain control than others. I do not have any depression or other issues. I did therapy to deal with other issues in my past and moved forward from them successfully - yes according to the MD. Yet, the issue with crying when in a stressful, upsetting or fight or flight situation just kicks in and other than removing myself from the situation, I needed a better way to deal.

So... I'm going to share the pharmaceutical solution my doctor and I came up with to deal with my need to remain composed in situations that were beyond my control and absolutely required composure. Sadly I cannot believe no one else has share this.

I tried .5mg of Klonopin but it dulled my thinking as well as my emotions. This was not okay because these situations required me to also be alert and at the top of my game... i.e. standing in front of a judge as a pro se litigant to successfully argue my point... yeah I did that and rocked it.

So, we tried 2 medications. First was Propranolol. In high doses it's a beta blocker for heart issues but in low doses it treats situational anxiety and panic such as fear of public speaking. The second medication was Alprazolam, generic for Xanax. There aren't any contraindications to combining the two but of course talk to you doctor.

It wasn't 100% successful in every situation and needs to be taken far enough in advance to get the benefit... but in the key, really important situations, I was successful at keeping my composure which served me well. Some situations emotions absolutely do not belong and can undermine our success. I firmly believe that there is a time and a place for therapy. But there are also situations that are beyond our control that no amount of therapy is going to cure a fight or flight response when the thing causing the issue isn't going to change. The only option I found for this was to find a medical way to control my reaction.

I also found it helpful to have a prescription for Ambien (not generic) in 10 mg that I can split. If I'm anxious the night before a review or court status and struggle to sleep, this gets me to sleep fast for the entire night so that I can wake refreshed and not groggy. You must allow a solid 6 hours of sleep and more like 8+ if you use another brand, generic or CR. It's also good to only take when needed to avoid becoming dependent.

I hope the original poster has found some form of relief or sees this and gets what she needs from her doctor. I only knew to ask for because a pharmacist friend gave me some direction.

wearyRAsufferer
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Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 2327
   Posted 10/6/2014 7:59 PM (GMT -7)   
I didn't really read the thread thoroughly so forgive me if I'm not sensitive with my answer.
I have found when it is not appropriate to shed tears in a social situation and my eyes are filling- if you roll your eyes up to look at the ceiling the flow will stop.

Mimmmi
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Date Joined May 2015
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 5/12/2015 4:19 PM (GMT -7)   
I am so happy to know I'm not alone...I am successful but my crying at work when dealing with confrontations with co workers or difficult situations are totally ridiculous...some "friends" even "joke" and call me emotional one...probably think that I am an emotional wreck which I am not because I am also a very rational person and make very good decisions when emotional or in pressure but like others said crying at work is terrible for our professional image. I came along this post because I was googling on how "not to cry". I am also looking for a med and no therapy will help my excess of crying hormones...

Keep coming with the med combos I am going to a doctor to check my options...

sdw515
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Date Joined May 2015
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 5/20/2015 7:39 PM (GMT -7)   
So glad I found this thread! Like some of the others, I tend to cry at the slightest thing. My boss gave me a glowing performance review and I burst into tears. So embarrassing, and quite confusing for him. Cry at heartfelt tv commercials. Just about anything with a hint of joy or pain associated and im fighting the tears. I feel i have no control. Its very frustrating and quite embarrassing when around other people. Have dealt with this all my life. Im getting married in july and am worried about being a blubbering soggy mess the whole time. I certainly dont want to be a zombie at my wedding, but would like to have something to calm my emotions. Its so exhausting fighting it, unsuccessfully most of the time. I dont want to have smeared makeup and cry face in all the pics either!

sdw515
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Date Joined May 2015
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 5/20/2015 7:47 PM (GMT -7)   
Making notes of suggested drugs that I will discuss with my doctor. Interested to hear if there are others who found something that worked well to get them through an emotional day.

Scaredy Cat
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Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 24653
   Posted 5/21/2015 9:13 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Sdw and welcome!

I do hope that you find the answers that you need.
 
As this is an older thread...(I almost missed your post myself!)

...I am not sure how many members posting above are still around.

Feel free to start a fresh thread on this subject if you wish. ;)

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

lindawardbrown
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Date Joined Oct 2015
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 10/6/2015 10:52 AM (GMT -7)   
I truly understand. I have suffered with "situational crying" all my life. I have never met anyone who understands. I am normally a very happy person. I cry as hard on a happy occasion eg. weddings, as sad occasions eg. saying goodbye. It took me a long time to figure out that it happens anytime love is expressed. I was raised with 4 brothers, whose sign of affection was a punch in the arm. Our family never hugs or tells each other we love them. I always thought "I love you" was assumed and never needed to be said. When I was really young, I would make excuses for my tears. My earliest memory is when I saw my Mom hug her Dad. I blamed my tears on a stomach ache. When a relative would leave, I would walk around the block until they were gone so I didn't have to say goodbye. I am 56 years old and still can't say goodbye. Once I started falling in love, I could not return an "I love you" much to my partners disappointed. It took me a long time to learn how to say it and to this day, only tell my husband and nobody else. I have struggled thru weddings, funerals, goodbyes, hellos. Once I lose my composure, I'm done. My crying heavy lasts until I remove myself from the situation. I develop so much acid in my stomach that I have been sick to my stomach and very nauseous. My face goes beet red and so hot. It is totalling exhausting. I have tried many medications, psychiatry, hypnotherapy, acupuncture and nothing helps. My best and only solution is avoidance so I am missing weddings, funerals, goodbyes etc. Can you imagine - I never got married because I would never get thru it? What am I going to do the day I lose my parents etc? I couldn't be at my partners side when he lost his parents, making me look like I don't care. The complete opposite is true - I care so much. I have even written the Mayo clinic to ask about researching my brain's emotional centre for a solution. It is obviously a chemical imbalance. Life is passing me by. I WANT to be there!!!!! I get so mad when I break down and miss these precious occasions. It's like my inside doesn't match my outside. Am I making sense? Does anyone understand? Do you have any solution? It would change my life!

BlueCat
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Date Joined Jul 2015
Total Posts : 237
   Posted 10/6/2015 5:32 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Linda, welcome to the forum!

I have just been reading about uncontrollable crying and came across a medication called Nuedexta. Have you heard of it? It is supposed to be for patients with a neurological disorder called Pseudobulbar Affect where they break into spontaneous laughter or tears for no reason. Perhaps it might help you. I have read it takes about a week to kick in, and the side effects can last a few weeks.

The only other thing I can think of is that you could go on a mood stabilizer to try to even out your emotions, or even an anti-depressant for the same reason.

Keep us posted!

-Cat
Panic Disorder
Recently recovered from a Major Depressive Episode Sep 2015

Currently taking:
150mg Zoloft since July 6, 2015
300mg Gabapentin x 2 since July 29, 2015
Tapering off benzos has been delayed... until November. *sigh*

Scaredy Cat
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Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 24653
   Posted 10/6/2015 8:14 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi and welcome,

I am sorry to hear about your challenges with emotional issues that are ongoing for so long.

You mentioned psychiatric help for the issue....does this include long term therapy for the root causes?

If not, this might be something you want to pursue , along with finding a beneficial Rx.

If you are not currently under the car of a P-doc, this is something you may want to pursue.

Best wishes for your pursuit of wellness, and post anytime.:)

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

lindawardbrown
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2015
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 10/6/2015 9:33 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you Blue and Scaredy Cat for your responses. I have tried all kinds of anti-depressants: Paxil, Citalopram, Amitriptyline etc. I had a very bad experience, which landed me in hospital, when my doctor misinformed me of how to properly come off Effexor (which didn't help). Psychiatric long term therapy did not help. The only thing I have been informed of but not tried is St. John' Wort. Any input?

BlueCat
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2015
Total Posts : 237
   Posted 10/6/2015 10:53 PM (GMT -7)   
Sorry to hear about all of the anti-depressants.

St. John's Wort is hit or miss from what I have read. I have never taken it, though.

How about the Nuedexta?
Panic Disorder
Recently recovered from a Major Depressive Episode Sep 2015

Currently taking:
150mg Zoloft since July 6, 2015
300mg Gabapentin x 2 since July 29, 2015
Tapering off benzos has been delayed... until November. *sigh*

lindawardbrown
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2015
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 10/7/2015 9:25 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you, BlueCat - I will certainly study Nuedexta

Scaredy Cat
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 24653
   Posted 10/7/2015 11:04 AM (GMT -7)   
LWB,

Great job on pursuing so much to help your self and this challenge!

The only other thing I can suggest is to re-visit the therapy option if it has been awhile since you've been in sessions.

We are constantly changing, and our readiness for recovery is also a varying factor.

You may have complete success after returning to a previously ineffectual treatment.

Self help is also something to keep pursuing...you never know when something is going to suddenly 'click'...and progress is gained!

Best wishes, and post anytime.:)

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT

las68
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Date Joined Mar 2013
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 5/9/2016 4:10 PM (GMT -7)   
I have yet to encounter someone that has this issue, nice to know Im not alone. I have been in therapy on and off since I was 15 years old. I have seen quite a few therapists, more than I can count. They started medicating me when I was in my late 20s. I suffer from depression, they call me bipolar. My biggest problem is my uncontrollable crying is ruining my financial status. If a boss gives me constructive criticism, I cry, if someone is rude to me, especially a coworker, I cry, if something stressful happens, I cry. If I get confused and not sure what to say I cry. I have been on the medication go round for awhile and nothing seems to help. I don't know what else to try. I am on disability because the crying was so bad I could not properly do my job. I worked in Customer Service. A job that I loved as I love to talk to people. I am great at it. But as the years went by it only seemed to get worse. The last job I had was the last straw, I would dread my days going in to work. I am very friendly, social, and the isolation of being at home on disability makes me even more miserable. I have 3 kids, all teens now but I hate being in this situation of them seeing me this way. They know I am ill, but don't always know what to do. I realize there is no magic pill. I just want to work and function in life. To the one who started this thread, I feel you and completely understand. People have been telling me all of my life that therapy will help, I approached every idea with an open mind. As of yet, nothing has worked. If anyone finds something that actually HELPS, meds, whatever, please post. As I am sure there are plenty of us that would like to know!

Scaredy Cat
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 24653
   Posted 5/9/2016 4:44 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Las68 and welcome!

I am sorry to hear that you are going through this and the issues is has caused for you...anxiety can be so costly.:(

Have you done any therapy or self help specifically for social anxiety?

How about an Rx specifically to control the physical effects of anxiety such as Propanolol? (Beta Blocker)

S.C.
Moderator:Anxiety/Panic

"Courage is not the abscence of fear, it is feeling afraid and doing it anyway!"

"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles...it empties today of its strength."
Corrie Ten Boom

Panic Syndrome recovery due to CBT
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